Recovering from a disaster

Hello fellow alphas. I've made some breakthroughs with the help of this great forum, but now I'm in a chaotic state.

To keep things short, I've fallen for a girl (see my day game. Blanked out. thread) and essentially things have kinda fallen appart when my date didn't go so well with her. We still have this chemistry going on even after the date has failed and again through the help of gunsnglory and Instinct, I've basically come to the conclusion that there's a high possibility that I'm being gamed by her.

Some time pass and I was inspired by Carlos Xuma I believe who sent an email saying something on the lines of "most guys never kino hard enough to even reach near the girl's threshold" so I wanted to be a bit advantageous and I tried kinoing her a little harder (I know she's supposed to be a pivot, but it can't hurt right?) So basically it was raining that day and I grabbed her shoulder with my arm around her. The reaction was instant and the next 2-3 days she seemed very attracted to me (she would tug my shirt) and act cute infront of me. It seemed genuine to me. So I thought this was great, but I'm worried about what Instinct and gunsnglory had discussed so I stopped and all of a sudden things started going off track she'd go off to have lunch with her new founded female friend leaving me alone. Here's where I feel I'm not quite alpha. I couldn't seem to build any rapport with her new female friend and we weren't introduced properly so I feel we've been disconnected.

After gaming her for about 3-4 months, I'm starting to feel attachment to her and I'm worried that I've fallen deeper than I thought I had.

What would an alpha do to make the best out of the situation?

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Recommended books:
Conquer Your Campus by Mark Redman

You don't want to get too attached at this point emotionally, so try your best not to let that happen. It will cloud your game and make you appear needy if you aren't careful. Since she seems to be game, keep working her. If she tries to back out at when you are trying to close her, just give her a bit of an ultimatum something like, "If you wanna just be friends, that is cool, but I have enough friends right now." Kinda force the issue without devaluing yourself. Either way you win, because you find out the true game. If she is interested, pick up the kino and also start qualifying her much more seriously. Make her prove herself to you. Since there is already a history of her possibly trying to play you, it is absolutely imperative that you not allow yourself to fall for shit tests or allow her to devalue you.

But in this case, won't I lose her as friend if she decides to be just friends? What good does that do me if everything completely ends?

The issue I'm having right now is I'm starting to feel I'm losing my grip because she just placed her male friend (who has a gf already) between us today so I feel like it's all coming to an end. I also feel that ever since I left her with her female friend that day, she's starting to close out on me.

One thing I hate about the gaming part is after 3-4 months I usually start to feel attached to the girl. I tried really hard to resist, but it's just that we've built up so much history together that when I see her, it's almost instant that we'll be together.

__________________
Recommended books:
Conquer Your Campus by Mark Redman

She hasn't blown you off yet. In fact, from what I understand, she only brings her boyfriend up. She hasn't actually made any negative moves when you amp up kino. I say, you need to slowly amp up kino and qualification until she is forced to make a decision on you. Right now, it almost sounds like she doesn't know if she wants you or not. Force her to make that decision. If you just keep turning up the heat slowly, she isn't going to hate you if she decides not to go with you, she will just make a very strong decision to put you in the friends category. You seem to be cool with that option.

If you don't try, you will automatically be put in the friends category, or she may just lose interest in you. That tends to happen when there is an intense build-up and then it doesn't go anywhere.

I think I would go on 2-3 dates with other women, let her know that you have choices and will take them, and then realize that when you are dating the other women with your interest in mind, and not worried about theirs, that they are totally falling for you, and use that on her. GnG has some good points, I would ramp the Kino up fast, and suprising, and if she says anything, just have the what the fark is wrong with you attitude.

1) 2-3 dates with other women, hotties.
2) Keep the attitude you had with the other hotties.
3) Fast Kino Escalate.
4) You are the prize, if she acts weird, its cause SHE IS weird.

Agreed. You absolutely should be hanging out with, dating, banging etc 3-5 other girls.

Not only is it MUCH more fun, it makes you 100% non-needy and you become the prize.

Until you are in a committed relationship this is the only way to do it. Not only is it fun, but it makes you more attractive to all the girls you are dating.

Bill

Guys, I'm having a rough time right now. My whole life is falling apart and I can't convince myself to be confident.
It doesn't matter if it was with girls, school, or work. I tried texting girl A trying to get her out to practice for my japanese exam and I dont know if I said something that overwhelmed her or not:

me: girl a! lets meet up on the 14th and 15th to prepare for the Japanese exam.

It's been 30 mins and no response. Was it a bad dea to suggest 2 days? This is the final run (its dec and classes are over). I don't know what to do and I'm ready to give up this whole chasing thing (until I recover from this one).

__________________
Recommended books:
Conquer Your Campus by Mark Redman

Relax. You are being needy. I am going to IM you tomorrow, and we are going to get everything working in the right direction, just relax.

Thank you for taking all that effort and time to try and help me. I know I was very afc like when I've made that post but to be honest, I felt so shitty at that moment. I was talking to my fellow female co-worker and basically mentioned how the "study" session for the Japanese 0ral exam went. Essentially there was a part where she's basically shit testing me and I kinda farked up.

Here's what happened:

Girl A was trying to grab her water bottle from her bag but couldn't reach it. I decided (out of my own good will) to help her. When she's done drinking, she hands me her bottle and points at the backpack for me to put it back. According to my co-worker, the wrong move I've made was to actually help her put it back considering she didn't say anything. I basically showed compliance and that ruined the alpha status.

I felt a bit better after knowing what I did wrong, but I feel that at one moment I can feel all alpha but the next it will dive right back to AFC. I feel like I'm having a hard time trying to fight that "loser" feeling and it's bottling up inside. Hours have past and still no response but I'm not as needy as I was at that moment anymore. On my hand, I still have 1 more girl as a side option whom I'm gaming as well. It's just that I really prefer girl A instead.

As I was driving home from work, I'm having these dark feelings inside me. I have this feeling I wanted to get revenge from girl A for how she tried to take advantage of my "down time". I feel like I wanted to game her on purpose and drop her after. I know this shouldn't be that attitude that I'm supposed to use, but I can't help it because I've been hurt by girls so many times like this when they get me so into them and then drop me hard. I want them to get a taste of their own medicine for once.

__________________
Recommended books:
Conquer Your Campus by Mark Redman

There's nothing wrong with being a gentleman as long as it isn't very far out of your way. Just blow it off as if it was nothing, and don't bring it up. Now if she tries to exploit your niceness by trying to get you to do something else shortly after, just neg her about her being needy or something. But just being nice, if it happens to be something small and easy, is just good educate.

Number 1, never get mad at anyone in life but yourself, Style used to say that he always blamed himself if things went wrong. Number 2 you are way to much up in your head with this stuff, shit test theory is to help wussies stand up for themselves, I almost always act like a total gentlemen, I actually enjoy helping my friends out, and I still get the farking girl, this compliance test, shit test stuff is to portray that you have high confidence and value, if you actually do have those things, you can forget the theories.

Don't worry, today we change everything.

Let me guess, firefox spellcheck? Happens to me constantly, I was on a fitness forum and said "This stuff has no garage in it." (Garbage) . :-)

Well when I fall for someone deep, i become very compliant and this is my flaw. I can only control my feelings for a girl for a short period of time. Once significant rapport builds I start falling and I accelerate until I push her away.

I've spoken to GnG in the chatroom last night as well as ragr. I'm looking forward to speaking with you as well.

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Update:

Girl A responded via text this morning:

"Hey sorry i had a crazy day yesterday! I have an exam from 9 - 12pm on the 14th but I could study after that or 15th works"

It seems like she's giving me 1 day. What should I make out of this? Is this a "ok, I pity you", "ok, I'm here just to study", or "I'll give you one more chance"?

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Update 2:

Hey guys I know it's difficult to keep up but everything is happening in real time so I'm just posting the updates as we go along.

From previous msg:

Girl A: Hey sorry i had a crazy day yesterday! I have an exam from 9 - 12pm on the 14th but I could study after that or 15th works

* 3-4 hours pass*

Me: =O Don't tell me you made gazoa without me again!

She told me 2 weeks ago how she went to her Japanese friend's house to make Gaoza and how I missed out the fun so I'm hoping by saying that it will start a light convo before I bluntly answer her what time we're going to meet.

__________________
Recommended books:
Conquer Your Campus by Mark Redman

You called it exactly! I bow my head in shame.

M_W, we have talked somewhat bout your current scenario, but let me say something a little more generic, that I think will help you a lot.

Bit of tough love:
I think one of your big problems is that you don't really know yourself. It is likely partially due to age, and partially to psychological and environmental factors. That's something I have a hard time connecting with because I have always been someone who analyzes myself constantly. I always know how I feel about something, where I am emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually (spiritually doesn't necessarily mean religiously. I am speaking more of how your emotional self is coupled to your world view). I think it is hard to understand other people, and interact confidently, when you aren't fully in touch and accepting of yourself. Therefore, I would devote greater or equal time to finding out who you are and what you want. 90% of game is knowing those two things, and always acting on what those aspects of you tell you. The other 10% is just the window dressing and the shiny techniques. You are focusing mostly on that 10%. Becoming a pick-up artist is more formulaic then most general relationship guides, but it still requires a catalyst. That catalyst is a man who is confident and knows what he wants.

Thanks for the tip. I do agree with what you've said here because sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing is right. I've been bottled up in my house for 3-4 years, I've never gone clubbing and would never hang out with friends past 12am (family rules).

I know I am well polished in terms of fashion and I'm getting smoother and smoother with the building comfort, rapport and to some extent opening. I know I have so much potential but it's just that it's all locked up and I don't know how to release it in a positive manner.

It is also because of this that I'm always fighting between my desires and what I deem to be worldly standards (which is mainly derived from Christianity since my parents made me to go to church). As such in this scenario where I like this girl and yet, I'm not sure if what I'm doing is right because she has a boyfriend.

Until you guys pretty much broke it down for me, I wasn't able to make a decision of choosing the direction of which I wanted to go. Even then, I still hesitated thus affecting my game right now. If I was more certain that I wanted this girl just 1 week ago the game would be a lot smoother as I would probably be escalating more sexually by now where as now, I'm stalling.

Just another note, Girl A stopped responding to me after I've sent her that message. I'm thinking if she is no longer interested but it's confusing me because she's also giving me 1 day to spend time with her. If she really didn't want anything to do with me anymore, she could've easily just blown me off.

After watching Disk 2 (I haven't reached the Bonus disks yet) of Gambler's vids, I realize fully what you were saying with regards to "hard escalation and stalling" which has caused this negative effect that I'm experiencing right now with Girl A.

Essentially my attraction level has died down because I've put her on the pedestal somewhat and I've stopped building scarcity and sexual kino. She's going to bet that she's my center of attention right now and therefore, I'm now of lower value than I was a week ago.

But I really do want to try to escalate with her a bit more for this up coming studying session before I attempt to close her on the final exam (hoping that she'd come out with me for a dinner or something where I'd try to kiss close for the last time).

I don't know if I should ask her to invite her other friend (whom I was too afraid to open). Any Advice?

__________________
Recommended books:
Conquer Your Campus by Mark Redman