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Thread: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

  1. #1
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    OK so whenever i see a girl i think is cute or hot i wimp out and dont approach her because i have no clue what i am going to say, like i picture it in my head that if i go up to her and say "hey, whats up" then shell look at me funny, so what kind of things could i say to approach a college girl and that will keep a conversation? i see this really hot girl at the gym all the time but i just get so nervous and dont say anything. please help

  2. #2
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    Hey johnnybob62,

    You're having a problem with what's called the "transition" i.e. how do you transition from an opener to a normal conversation?

    To be honest, openers are far less important than the transition. You can basically open the conversation with anything e.g. "Hey, do you do karate? I'm sure I saw you at my karate class last week." Lame, but it will prompt a response. (This is just an example; use your own relevant opener).

    So in this example she say's "no, I don't do Karate." Don’t let the conversation die. Transition here:

    You can say " so weird, really looked like you, but I'm glad it wasn't coz that chick was struggling with kicks to the...well you know where..."

    Smile

    Then ask, "So if you don't do karate, what do you do for fun?"

    Now the point is be genuinely curious as to what she answers. Let's say she says, "I like dancing", don't ask another question, rather make a statement, something like "yeah I can see that, you look like a free spirited person and dancing definitely brings the expression and emotion out. I once saw Lord of the Dance and Michael Flatly was brilliant. Irish Tap is amazing. What type of dance are you into?

    See: you make a related statement and only then ask another question. Don't interview her. It should be 80% statements 20% questions with a genuine curiosity about the girl and her answers. Girls also are emotional rather than factual, so bare this in mind when you converse.

    Hope this helps
    rs5096

  3. #3
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    Quote Originally Posted by rs5096 View Post
    Hey johnnybob62,

    You're having a problem with what's called the "transition" i.e. how do you transition from an opener to a normal conversation?

    To be honest, openers are far less important than the transition. You can basically open the conversation with anything e.g. "Hey, do you do karate? I'm sure I saw you at my karate class last week." Lame, but it will prompt a response. (This is just an example; use your own relevant opener).

    So in this example she say's "no, I don't do Karate." Donít let the conversation die. Transition here:

    You can say " so weird, really looked like you, but I'm glad it wasn't coz that chick was struggling with kicks to the...well you know where..."

    Smile

    Then ask, "So if you don't do karate, what do you do for fun?"

    Now the point is be genuinely curious as to what she answers. Let's say she says, "I like dancing", don't ask another question, rather make a statement, something like "yeah I can see that, you look like a free spirited person and dancing definitely brings the expression and emotion out. I once saw Lord of the Dance and Michael Flatly was brilliant. Irish Tap is amazing. What type of dance are you into?

    See: you make a related statement and only then ask another question. Don't interview her. It should be 80% statements 20% questions with a genuine curiosity about the girl and her answers. Girls also are emotional rather than factual, so bare this in mind when you converse.

    Hope this helps
    rs5096
    thanks but its not just the transition its the openers, like i have no clue what i am going to say to a girl without being creepy, like just if i see her walking what do i say?

  4. #4
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    Hey jb62,

    The truth is openers are not that important. I once opened a set screaming "Whooo!" (creepy) but followed up with a solid transition. Turned out to be executives from Bain & Co doing an informal performance review at the local. As it turned out they didn't get much of the review done.

    The opener is not important. What is important is your confidence. If you approach weak you are going to get rejected.So approach with a SLIGHTLY higher energy level then the girl and say something simple, "Hey, how's your day going" or "Hey, I noticed you and thought I got to come over and introduce myself...How's your day going." She should respond.

    But the approach must be done with a strong confidence; there is no getting around this. Women are hardwired to be attracted to masculinity just as we are hardwired to be attracted to femininity.The great thing about approaching is that the more you do the better you become at it. Its like working a muscle at gym.

    Hope this helps
    rs5096

  5. #5
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    Quote Originally Posted by rs5096 View Post
    Hey jb62,

    The truth is openers are not that important. I once opened a set screaming "Whooo!" (creepy) but followed up with a solid transition. Turned out to be executives from Bain & Co doing an informal performance review at the local. As it turned out they didn't get much of the review done.

    The opener is not important. What is important is your confidence. If you approach weak you are going to get rejected.So approach with a SLIGHTLY higher energy level then the girl and say something simple, "Hey, how's your day going" or "Hey, I noticed you and thought I got to come over and introduce myself...How's your day going." She should respond.

    But the approach must be done with a strong confidence; there is no getting around this. Women are hardwired to be attracted to masculinity just as we are hardwired to be attracted to femininity.The great thing about approaching is that the more you do the better you become at it. Its like working a muscle at gym.

    Hope this helps
    rs5096
    but this is my problem, if i want to go up to a random girl and say "hey, i noticed you and just wanted o introduce myself" i think in her eyes she will see me as creepy so then i imagine getting rejected so i dont approach her.

    I REALLY need help guys, im 18 in college and ive never even kissed a girl/had a girlfriend. im not looking for a girlfriend i am just looking to play the field a little bit and get out there to get experience. how do i stop imagining that everything il say would be creepy?

  6. #6
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    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    Don't worry about it, Johnnybob. Girls LOVE to talk. If you just walk up to them and start chatting, they will keep the conversation going far most of the time. They will only see you as creepy if you stare at them without coming over or something like that.

    Next time you see a girl, just think to yourself that 'she wants me to come over and talk to her'. And then go over there.

    BTW good advice, rs5096.

  7. #7
    rs5096's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    Hi jb62 and virgil,

    I'm starting a new thread in the Fieldreport section and refer you there.

    best
    rs5096

  8. #8
    FreshKed is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    Just walk up to college girls and say hey. Tell them you think they are cute and you had to come over and get to know them. Be cool about it. Have a few cool things around campus to go to. Ask a girl you click with to go to one of these things, boom goes the dynamite.

    Stop picturing it in your head. It never ever goes how you picture it in your head. Ever.

  9. #9
    i_likem_all22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    I use to feel the same way when approaching females.

    So i decided to do a survey i have about 20 different females friends some on a sexual level some are not.

    I asked them what they thought was the creepiest thing when getting first impressions of guys.

    About 95% of them said when a guy stares and doesnt come to talk...and stare...and stare...and stare. Women find this REALLY creepy. Think of it this way any women will be lucky to have you in their company and that you are taking out the time to give them your time.

    I think this all goes back to your confidence. You have to be confident and be an alpha male. Everyone wants to hang and be around you because your AWESOME! No one feels awkward or weird around you...This is the attitude you should have.

    Also just try approaching women, not to close but just to practice getting opening.

    Just walk up to ANY women and ask the time, maybe directions to a place, or anything like this. This will get you use to opening and out of the creeper attitude. Dont worry about closing any of these women. Just open and get out quick.

    I promise this will help!

  10. #10
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do I approach college girls?

    ok but dont girls think it is creepy is a random guy comes up to them and says "hey, i think you are cut i was wondering if you want to hang out?" in my eyes thats creepy but i never said it to a girl before BECAUSE I THINK THEY WILL THINK I AM CREEPY! please guys how do i get overs this? i am a college freshman and 3 weeks left in the semester i needa get laid.

    i saw this really pretty girl walking into our dorms last night, she went into a room on the first floor i live ont he second, how do i approach her? that was the first time i saw her all semester


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