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  1. #1
    Lead is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help in becoming talkative

    Hello all. I'm about to turn 22. In the past I have been avoiding most of the social interactions, for example i haven't been going out in high school, I just stayed at home playing video games. I am not geeky looking since I dress really well which gives me lots of attention from women because where I live most guys don't put effort in how they look so i appear more of a High value I guess.
    I just started my social life actually.. got 2 jobs that offer lots of interactions with people and i am slowly gaining really cool friends, not to mention that my brother is celebrity so that helps a lot. I have noticed that some women are wondering why i never "pull the trigger", even the ones that i never had a conversation with.. i guess word comes around fast in small towns.
    The area of my life that i would like to change is not only about girls it's about guys too.. i want to be more talkative. Like for example, i just got back from drinks with my fairly new buddies and i was quiet almost all the time while they were talking.
    When I'm talking to just one person I'm more talkative but i would still like to improve it to a point when i will always have something to say.
    If i had those conversational skills my life would be so much better so I really wanna get this fixed. It's like i don't have motivation to build a conversation.. and I want that thrill of interacting with people. It's easier with people that I have known for awhile since I know what we have in common etc.

    Any recommendations on what material i could read to motivate me or something...

    Thanks a lot

  2. #2
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    Believe it or not, I used to suffer from this myself.
    Obviously things have changed for me....

  3. #3
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    Hi Lead,

    There is a great little book called "Gift of the Gab" by Jacquie Wise from Australia. The book is generally out of print, so you won't be able to get it from online booksellers. You can, however, order it directly from her.

    Hope this helps
    rs5096

  4. #4
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    bro don't become talkative, talkative people are not mysterious just throw some vaue statements around when other people are talking and u'll have an impact on them
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    Hang around talkative people.

    Talk.

    About anything.

    You want to learn to paint? Get a canvas and start painting. Want to learn Spanish? You have to keep practicing it. Want to learn drums? Have to spend time on a kit.

    Honestly it's that simple but doesn't happen over night.

  6. #6
    Lead is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Preston View Post
    Believe it or not, I used to suffer from this myself.
    Obviously things have changed for me....
    How did you go through it? Any advice would be a gold mine for me now..

    What is the book gift of gab like? What can you learn from it?

    Thank you all

  7. #7
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    Hi Lead,

    Whitedragon is right when he says you need to talk. Your comfort zone right now is to remain silent, but it's not healthy. Being talkative and loud is a good skill to have. It will crossover in business as well where you will be expected to contribute. So you need to push yourself here and speak up

    The gift of the gab is a great book that teaches you how to be a conversationalist albeit its a little hard to get right now but I'm sure there are as good books readily available, just do a search at a local or online bookstore.

    Here's a few tips:
    1. Prepare yourself to talk. Treat it as a project.
    2. To this end make a list of stuff that you are passionate about and like talking about.
    3. Keep current. You don't have to know everything but have an opinion about topical stuff e.g. the greek debt crisis, or the arab spring. Have an opinion and be able to defend it to a reasonable degree.
    4. Read, even if its only 20 minutes a day, but keep reading man. books like gift of the gab and other books not only make good reading, but make good conversation stuff as well.
    5. Read a cosmopolitan or 2 just to see what chicks like reading and see the articles that they find interesting. Even make a list here for a cocky conversation with a girl.
    6. Prepare, practice and with time you'll be a natural conversationalist.


    Hope this helps
    rs5096

  8. #8
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    Lead,

    One other tip just came to me: People love talking about themselves. Sad but true my friend.

    rs5096

  9. #9
    Lead is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    Ok thanks. I will step out of my comfort zone.

  10. #10
    Lead is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help in becoming talkative

    Oh.. I noticed that when i am not really rested from my sleep that I'm a lot more talkative.. like today. Could that be because im less nervous or something? Anyone ever noticed that on themselves?


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