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  1. #1
    Wolverine is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation Unusual Obstacle In Coffee Shop

    I was sitting, writing, in my favorite coffee shop today, and found that a cute girl(about 20 years old, HB7-good age for me, since I'm 21) was staring at me. When I met her eyes, she quickly looked away, but this happened repeatedly. I would have approached immediately, but I was inside the glass wall, and she was outside. My writing session was winding down anyway, so I figured I had enough time to approach on my way out.(which I did.)

    She was talking to somebody, who I couldn't see from where I sat. I assumed it was her boyfriend. If it was, I knew she wanted me to take her from him, but I absolutely nothing about boyfriend destroying.

    However, when I got up to buy a cookie from the bar, I made sure to take a closer look. It was a woman in her fifties or early sixties.

    Crap.


    This girl was, without a doubt, over 18, so that's not a concern. She looked like a college student, probably a student at Vanderbilt(I live in Nashville). And she clearly like me. The way she stared, it would have been particularly easy to turn the encounter into a win, so long as I went in as an alpha.

    But they looked genetically related. I was stumped by how to approach with her mother, aunt, or grandmother(whicheve r it was) sitting there.

    I toyed around with stopping them to ask 'where the Parthenon was, because I had just moved to town.' I've really already been to the thing, but it seemed like a possible shot.

    I really wasn't experiencing aa, necessarily, just technical block. How could I pull that one off without creeping the mother out, and spoiling the set. The girl would know why I was there, and might have welcomed the approach, but depending how much of an AMOG(lol) the mom was, she might have tried to quickly repel me if I couldn't quickly win her over.

    When it was time for me to go, I walked out of the coffee shop and passed by the duo, still not sure if I would approach or not. I looked at the HB7 and her eyes met mine again as I passed, but I directed my steps the other way, and once I'd started walking away, it was already blown. Going back after that would have revealed that I had wanted approach initially, but had to build up my nerve.

    As I walked to my car, I was like "I screwed up!" In my head, but I got in and drove away, kicking myself for losing the potential lady friend.

  2. #2
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Unusual Obstacle

    I feel ya man.

    I haven't found anthing to date on picking up women in family situations (primarily parents, not siblings our cousins. An older generation.)

    Can't tell you the number of times I've kicked myself in the ass because she was with her mom (even though she was at least 20.) God bless the man who can help us all on this one.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unusual Obstacle

    Having the mother there is even more a reason to approach and why I continually stress to talk to all women as a matter of course, young or old. If you can charm the mother and gain her trust you will be the knight in shining armor. Approach as you would any group and say a warm friendly hello and introduce yourself. This is where you CAN be the complete nice guy and show some chivalry and pay out some compliments - especially to the mother. You can't hang around and chat in this situation but instead ask directly if she is her mother. If yes say something with charm but not cocky at all like 'I thought I could see the similarity in beauty' while looking at the mother. Then say 'Im sorry to interupt you like this, it's not something I would normally do (act like farking Hugh Grant ok) but actually I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime (looking at the girl)' then look at the mother 'i promise I will take good care of your daughter'.

    Well that's what I would do it anyway. I've always charmed the my GF's parents and always be the nice man of chivalry. Of course her mum is what, probably a baby boomer or post baby boomer? so if she's more liberal you could adjust your wording accordingly.

    Always make it a habit to charm the pants off girls both younger and older than you as a matter of course.

    I think I would only bother with that sort of thing if she was a girl I could actually potentially see myself with LT though.

    No matter what the obstacle attack it with utter confidence, you rarely have anything to loose.

  4. #4
    Wolverine is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Thumbs up Re: Unusual Obstacle

    whitedragon: VERY interesting. I think you've definitely got something there.

    Another possible approach did occur to me: Walk up and be polite and chivalrous, especially to the mother, say hi to both of them. I'm not so sure about apologizing for the approach. If there was even a hint of apology, it would definitely need to only be directed toward the mother.

    But then get bold. Call the girl out on staring. Tell the girl you noticed her looking at you for the last thirty minutes,so you thought you'd stop by and see if she wanted to meet up and do something sometime.
    All the while you'd have to be super polite toward the mom, but not being TOO careful. Mom doesn't want her daughter rolling with a beta male. At the same time, try to direct as much cocky funny as possible toward the girl(within reason).

    Come to think of it, approaching even though her mom was there would have been a massive dhv, if I was congruent.

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unusual Obstacle

    Apologizing for interrupting them if they are talking is not being a beta, it's just general human courtesy and yes mostly for the mother. Your not making any apology for approaching. Being charming is how I would approach it I suppose. I think you could say anything really as long as you respected the mother, don't say anything stupid, don't talk too long unless they invite you to and get the number.

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unusual Obstacle

    Apologizing for interrupting them, like if they are talking, is not being a beta, it's just general human courtesy and yes mostly for the mother. Your not making any apology for approaching. Being charming is how I would approach it I suppose. I think you could say anything really as long as you respected the mother, don't say anything stupid, don't talk too long unless they invite you to and get the number. Just by actually going up to them takes big balls and they will both recognize what that means

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Unusual Obstacle

    I doubt the girl would've have been staring at you repeatedly so blatantly if her mother was hostile. They may have even been talking about you. Next time try to get out of your head about "how" to approach. You can say basically anything if your body language is confident. And view it as a social experiment. That way even if it doesnt go well, you would've learned something and had a funny story to tell your friends.

  8. #8
    Wolverine is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Unusual Obstacle

    Right you are, BatMan. Next time. (rubs hands together evil genius style) Next time.

  9. #9
    Infrared is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unusual Obstacle In Coffee Shop

    I stumbled over here and had to chime in on this one, cuz I've been there so many times haha. I'd like to say i'd do what white dragon said, but honestly not sure if I would, well maybe nowadays heh. I'd probably wait a sec to see if she gets up, or the real 'hugh grant' thing and approach thru the mother first lol.

    On the other hand, what if you were chillin with your dad, mom or whatever and some strange, attractive girl came over and asked you out? They would probably think your pretty awesome! Haha.

    I wonder what Mystery has on the topic, maybe there's some stuff in MM I just don't remember, hmm.


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