Jon Sinn here, with a quick overview of my four step process for eliminating Approach Anxiety.
Approach Anxiety is a major problem for a ton of guys, especially those who are just getting started with approaching women. A lot of guys ( you may even be one of them) suffer with approach anxiety for long painful periods of time. But it doesn’t have to be this way. I have actually developed a four step process for eliminating approach anxiety that has worked for literally thousands of guys.
My four-step process for approach anxiety looks something like this:
The first step is applying a mental re-frame. So you're at a bar or a club, you've gotten yourself out of the house, you've worked on your willpower, you're out, you're ready, or you've set some time aside to go walk around the park, or the mall, or wherever—you're ready to do some approaches. So first, you have your mental re-frames ready. Everything is just going to be either fun or boring, and you’re going to know which one it is within 90 seconds. You’re also going to remember there's no such thing as failure just feedback, and you're always going to imagine the most positive outcome that can happen right as you go into approach. You physically un-stifle yourself, you walk towards every girl you see, you either bump into them or tap them or open them normally if you can, but if you can't, bump into them or tap them; and you tactically then, use one of three openers—an indirect, a direct, or a group opener based on the situation. If you do this first step you’re going to find yourself approaching every time you go out. Even if they just add up to a few minutes of conversation.
After that you're going to try to stay in the conversation for as long as you can. After you do three of those you'll be warmed up. You'll find your sets are opening easier, you’re approach anxiety is basically gone. This is the power of warm up approaches. After three or four approaches, the fourth, fifth, sixth approach doesn’t really feel that hard, and you can keep doing this until you hit 10 or 12, at which point you've gotten kind of the maximum amount of learning you're going to get out of it. You don’t need to open every girl in the club (though it can be fun).
But if at any point you start to find your state crashing, you want to re-up your state here, you'll want to handle your emotions, make sure you get through those first three, you always want to do at least three real quick just to warm yourself up and then handle your emotions.
Be aware of state killers, like the phone, and laps of doom(where you just walk around the club aimlessly for hours and hours looking like a loser. Another state killer is talking about game. A lot of guys go out with a buddy and they spend all their time talking about ways they want to approach. Meanwhile they end up doing no approaches at all.
Be aware of things that increase state, smiling, high-fiving people, complimenting people, being friendly, drawing social attention to you, pushups, dancing, physical movement—that will help you to beat approach anxiety all night, every night, or all day, every day if you're approaching during the day.
Clearly I don’t have time to go over my whole four part system for beating approach anxiety here, but hopefully you got enough out of this article that you can start to get out there and make some approaches a little easier than before.