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Thread: How To Get Over Shyness

  1. #121
    ric15l is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    Quote Originally Posted by rdc View Post
    Yeah, how very true PUA Bill.

    Unfortunately, I'm just a nice guy by trait, which is good if people really know me, but not the best for a PUA. I was going after this HB9 at a local store; flirting with her every time I came in. Then I made a crucial mistake; I thanked her for ringing my order up (D'oh!). Her eyes suddenly went from Hello! - to WTF do you want?

    Just thought I'd tell the story so others can learn from it too.
    I know exactly what your talking about.... I'm also a "nice guy by trait". By the way, just watched a very cool Simpsons episode on this.

  2. #122
    bigglesworth7 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Preston View Post
    That's pretty hard core.. I prefer bombing on purpose a few times (never insult the girl, just make yourself look really awkward or lame).

    On that note - I never neg. I might tease, but never in a hurtful way. Mystery and his boys do that and I think it is amateurish... yes I am calling him out. My buddies have been in set with him and he is not as good as advertised.

    Bill
    Yes yoour right about mystery ..I actually thought the book "The Game " was a lame attempt to brag more then educate. Although there was some informational material it was more like an autobiography that was less interesting then reading 50 shades of grey. You could learn more about women reading that book then anything written in "The Game"

  3. #123
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    Cool Nerd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    i'm a shy... and fellow "nice guy by trait"... and look harmless... "cute" isn't a typical pua style but you have to go with your strengths... if you're a shy and nice naturally build off that...

    when girls approach and open me, it's because they aren't looking for the "bar type" (pua's) and i'm usually the only alternative... instead of club gear, i Peacock in a 3 piece suit (no tie)...

    every set of 4+ girls at a bar includes at least one girl that feel out of place and never goes out unless all her girls are out... she's looking for the "nice guy" to dance with
    "First we're going to take their money, then we're going to blow it on booze and broads!" - Ric Flair

  4. #124
    iameuge is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    How do I overcome shyness? What must I do/perform to atleast boost my confidence a little?

  5. #125
    shydud47 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    I develop a sense of humor over the year... and I don't like being insulting or rude toward anyone... men and/or women... I'm really sensitive over this... if I feel that the person in front of me doesn't get my joke or seem offended... I usually turn it around... Because my purpose is that we both laugh or smile...

    So I pretty much agree with what you say here! It's good to tease in my opinion... but in a good way.

  6. #126
    bammyganj892 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    This makes a lot of sense. I feel that thinking this way will definitely help me be less shy.

  7. #127
    offspin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    For someone who has the same issue to overcome.

    I think just literally going out there and speaking to different women helps you to "warm up" and forget about any anxiety/shyness.

  8. #128
    johngbj is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    This is good. Specially the first few questions.

    The first time I took the time to actually sit down and ask myself some of those questions. It boosted my confidence and conversation skills quite a bit.

  9. #129
    TrueFlow is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    That's pretty hard core.. I prefer bombing on purpose a few times (never insult the girl, just make yourself look really awkward or lame).On that note - I never*neg. I might tease, but never in a hurtful way. Mystery and his boys do that and I think it is amateurish... yes I am calling him out. My buddies have been in set with him and he is not as good as advertised.

    Bill
    I disagree Bill.

    Giving a woman a Neg is more of an playful, neutral comment on her personality or appearance, rather than an insult. Atleast IMO. Ive heard some really bad negs, some just evil. I use negs that make a girl confused or smile.

    A playful example is "you have beautiful eyes...can I touch them?"
    Or "I think your hair would look better up/down."
    But something like "Don't be sad, you're not that ugly." Is outright dangerous and mean.

  10. #130
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How To Get Over Shyness

    I started the style life challenge, and it's first couple of challenges was to small talk 5 people. I was having no problem with it the first day, but on the second day, the challenge was to talk to 5 more people.

    So I went out again, and I don't know why but my heart just wasn't in it. I tried forcing myself through it, and I chatted up one or two. Then I was at the grocery store, and there was an older man maybe in his upper 50's looking for something. Had every intention of small talking him. But then I just didn't want to.

    I hate. I hate small talk, I hate pretending to be interested in people. I hate how boring people are, and I hate how excited they get to be entertained. I hate the responsibility of being entertaining or interesting.

    I have a note on my board that has a list of habits I want to form for my own improvement, and one item is small talk at every opportunity. I haven't tried to small talk anyone since that day at the grocery store some four months ago. I know it's not a good frame of mind. I really can't seem to break it though.

    A lot of advice is to take small steps towards it, smile at people walking by, then say hi to some people, etc. Kind of wade into it slowly. I'm not sure that it will work for me though.

    I'm not sure I want to be that guy either. Frankly, I can't even envision myself that way. Is it possible to be a good PUA and not be a talkative person?


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