i'm a shy... and fellow "nice guy by trait"... and look harmless... "cute" isn't a typical pua style but you have to go with your strengths... if you're a shy and nice naturally build off that...
when girls approach and open me, it's because they aren't looking for the "bar type" (pua's) and i'm usually the only alternative... instead of club gear, i Peacock in a 3 piece suit (no tie)...
every set of 4+ girls at a bar includes at least one girl that feel out of place and never goes out unless all her girls are out... she's looking for the "nice guy" to dance with
"First we're going to take their money, then we're going to blow it on booze and broads!" - Ric Flair
How do I overcome shyness? What must I do/perform to atleast boost my confidence a little?
I develop a sense of humor over the year... and I don't like being insulting or rude toward anyone... men and/or women... I'm really sensitive over this... if I feel that the person in front of me doesn't get my joke or seem offended... I usually turn it around... Because my purpose is that we both laugh or smile...
So I pretty much agree with what you say here! It's good to tease in my opinion... but in a good way.
This makes a lot of sense. I feel that thinking this way will definitely help me be less shy.
For someone who has the same issue to overcome.
I think just literally going out there and speaking to different women helps you to "warm up" and forget about any anxiety/shyness.
This is good. Specially the first few questions.
The first time I took the time to actually sit down and ask myself some of those questions. It boosted my confidence and conversation skills quite a bit.
I disagree Bill.That's pretty hard core.. I prefer bombing on purpose a few times (never insult the girl, just make yourself look really awkward or lame).On that note - I never*neg. I might tease, but never in a hurtful way. Mystery and his boys do that and I think it is amateurish... yes I am calling him out. My buddies have been in set with him and he is not as good as advertised.
Giving a woman a Neg is more of an playful, neutral comment on her personality or appearance, rather than an insult. Atleast IMO. Ive heard some really bad negs, some just evil. I use negs that make a girl confused or smile.
A playful example is "you have beautiful eyes...can I touch them?"
Or "I think your hair would look better up/down."
But something like "Don't be sad, you're not that ugly." Is outright dangerous and mean.
I started the style life challenge, and it's first couple of challenges was to small talk 5 people. I was having no problem with it the first day, but on the second day, the challenge was to talk to 5 more people.
So I went out again, and I don't know why but my heart just wasn't in it. I tried forcing myself through it, and I chatted up one or two. Then I was at the grocery store, and there was an older man maybe in his upper 50's looking for something. Had every intention of small talking him. But then I just didn't want to.
I hate. I hate small talk, I hate pretending to be interested in people. I hate how boring people are, and I hate how excited they get to be entertained. I hate the responsibility of being entertaining or interesting.
I have a note on my board that has a list of habits I want to form for my own improvement, and one item is small talk at every opportunity. I haven't tried to small talk anyone since that day at the grocery store some four months ago. I know it's not a good frame of mind. I really can't seem to break it though.
A lot of advice is to take small steps towards it, smile at people walking by, then say hi to some people, etc. Kind of wade into it slowly. I'm not sure that it will work for me though.
I'm not sure I want to be that guy either. Frankly, I can't even envision myself that way. Is it possible to be a good PUA and not be a talkative person?