Just like anything else, get out there and do it.
Just like anything else, get out there and do it.
I checked out what that might be...hopefully those guys will post here : ) ...
To get rid of shyness, here's what I have some people do...
I have them specifically approach woman (for a couple of hours a day), hot or not...(the first one they see) with the purpose of being rejected. The more they get rejected and just do WHATEVER, the less shy they become because they would have been rejected soo much at the end it does not matter what the next chick says...thing is after a couple rejections they are told what they are doing wrong, and then they have to start over again.
I basically take a couple guys, tell them about what I want them to do, take them to a place they don't know anyone in, and have them do what I say...they do it...even if it is outrageous, the more people they walk up to...the less shy they become.
Not sure if all that made sense, but overall, APPROACH AT LEAST 100 girls in one day. Then 100 other girls in the next and so on...for 1 week STRAIGHT! If you are still shy or not confident enough to approach ANYONE YOU WANT within the second you see them, after trying this...It's never happened so far, and above that I haven't done it with tons of people but with those I have, they don't care anymore and approach like their looking at a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Christian actually does post here...
I don't see it is as much about getting over shyness as it is being able to deal with it. We are all shy to some degree but I have seen first hand cases of crippling shyness. It can be very difficult to live a normal life, and in extreme cases I suggest thearapy. For the standard run of the mill Approach Anxiety, simple keep at it until it "hurts less". I just wrote a post at my website about aa I think you should read it. There is also an article about body language and how that can affect your game
The three second rule is GREAT. Especially when you are just trying to approach. A much more solid method as you get more advanced is to open them with eye contact... then after you both have that moment of recognition, then approach when the target is more receptive. I've heard this called a 'warm approach'.
what is the 3 second rule?
I don't consider myself a shy guy much more than i consider myself a not so self confident man.
I'll give you some examples:
I live in orlando and about three weeks ago i went to miami to deliver some papers to the venezuelan consulate. while i was waiting for my turn a very cute girl sat almost next to me, and i ended up talking to her. almost at the same time a couple sat next to her and it turned out that the girl and the couple were from orlando. the girl goes to the same college i go and the couple have a daughter that also goes to the same college i go. I was hungry as hell because i haven't eaten anything by that time and i asked the girl if she already had breakfast. she said no and i asked her if she wanted me to wait for her so we can go eat together. she said sure. while the girl waited to be called by a representative of the consulate, i helped the couple with their papers, and at the end they asked for my number to be in contact and stuff. the girl finished with what she was doing and i went with her to have breakfast. she asked me for my phone number and i gave it to her, she gave her phone number to me too. we hang in the restaurant for about 2 or 3 hours talking about life, how difficult it is to adapt to this country, and all kind of silly stuff like that. she was staying in miami for the weekend and she commented me that she didnt have a boyfriend because she broke up with him recenty because he waent back to venezuela, and i thought "maybe my luck will start getting better from now on".before we said bye we talked about getting together in orlando and go out.It was what i thought "an almost perfect opportunity for me". i texted her 2 days after i met her and she didnt answered, then i texted her a week after that and still no answer. there is where i wonder did i do something wrong?did i talked about the wrong stuff with her? maybe she did not like me?..i'm really like wtf is going on with me.
after that, While in the bus to orlando i met a very HOT girl from colombia that lives in miami. she was 19 same age as me. she was going to orlando to visit her boyfriend. yeah i said "damn" to myself hehe. anyways, we talked and listened to music throughout all the trip, she fell asleep several times in my shoulder, and there was a point in which i touched her hand and told her "wow you are cold" she said yeah and all of a sudden she was with her head on my shoulder and we were holding hands. there was more people in the van and i certainly wanted something to happen, but i dodnt know if she thought the same. we traded phone numbers and i told her to give me a call whenever she was going back to orlando. Nothing interesting happened, sadly. I haven't heard from her since then
While i was on my way to orlando the old couple that i met in the consulate called me. the mom of the girl that studies in the same college that i go to wanted me to talk to his daughter!..she introduced me to his daughter over the phone. we talked for a while and she asked me for my number. i gave it to her and later she texted me. it turned out that the girl had a class at the same time as me in the same building, so we talked about getting together after class, and i invited her to dinner. we talke almost every day thru the phone, text messages, and msn messenger before we met. she saw some pictures of me, and was always complementing my "six pack" (not trying to be cocky at all), how cute i was, etc. I finally met the girl a thursday. She was very cute we went out to have dinner, we talked about almost everything, have some laughs, we had a good time (i think) overall. I left her at her home and she told me to text her when i get home.I did. No answer.i text her the following day, we talked a little bit then she didnt reply to me anymore. after we went out she was not that nice of a girl with me anymore. I was the one that called her, text her, and even the first to say hi in msn. so this is the part when i ask myself..WTF in hell am i doing wrong?
I'm cosider myself a good guy. maybe being good has been the problem all this years.
I'm just looking for a girl that i like and that i want to be with.
hate to say this but it is like someone casted some kind of spell on me. everytime i like a girl and i go out with her and stuff, something happens and i end up wtih nothing.
Last edited by ragr; 10-17-2009 at 01:36 PM.
3 second rule: when you see a hot girl, you have 3 seconds to go talk to her. If you don't within 3 seconds - don't do it. This is to keep you from being the creepy guy who is just staring at her AND it is to keep from you talking yourself out of talking to her.