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  1. #1
    Ronin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Rules of engagement for newly single acquaintance

    When I met April last September, we got along great but I bummed to find out that she had a boyfriend. I have her number, and occasionally we'd text back and forth or see each other around the school. She's a friendly person so any sort of interaction we've ever had has been a really positive one.

    Now, a couple weeks ago, she broke up with her boyfriend of a couple years. I'm wondering, what is the best course of action to go after someone who is fresh out of a relationship? I haven't spoken to April in a couple months, I haven't even said anything to her over Facebook. I don't want to be one of "those guys" who comes out of the woodwork as soon as the relationship status changes. Is there a "grace period" that you wait so you don't come off looking like an opportunist?

  2. #2
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rules of engagement for newly single acquaintance

    Ronin, FauxPas here. All is fair in love and war! You say you've texted her before and that she knows you. I say capitalize on that. Start the Game. Just start from the beginning, and escalate. Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.

  3. #3
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rules of engagement for newly single acquaintance

    There is no downtime, she didn't recover from a cold

    There is no shame in asking her out as soon as you learn she has broken up. The good old "want me to come at your place, and cook you something?" works well. Don't say that you are sorry for her, don't say it's better for her, just don't speak about it at all.

    But realize that if it was a big relationship for her, you have a good chance of ending up being the rebound. Not always bad, but if you want something more, you might want to let her find a rebound, and then come back once she's done with that.

  4. #4
    Ronin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Rules of engagement for newly single acquaintance

    So far, all is well. I am limiting my contact with her, so any time spent with me is a novelty. The other day last week I visited her at work. I stayed a bit longer than I expected I would, but it was fun and she didn't get bored of me, so that's a good sign. I even made friends with her manager. There is probably a term for that, getting on good terms with the people in proximity to your target.

    Anyway before we left she said we should hang out before school starts up again. So she's interested in seeing me again, I just have to make sure I'm not on track for LJBF.

    So what do you guys make of my chances? Any suggestions or warnings?

  5. #5
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rules of engagement for newly single acquaintance

    Seems well, just be careful to qualify yourself, ie show you are interested by her in a non-friend way. On a related note, try to keep in mind right now that you want her as a date/gf/etc, not as a friend

  6. #6
    RussellJ is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Rules of engagement for newly single acquaintance

    I have the same problem, but I dont know the girl that well. We just met a month back, I think she digs me but I only have her facebook and no number. I dont think asking her out on facebook is going to get me anywhere....well it may, but I dont know how to make it happen.

  7. #7
    boondockarchangel is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Rules of engagement for newly single acquaintance

    Yeah definitely be careful about being the rebound (unless that is all you want).

    I am in a similar situation in that the girl I am after broke up with a very long term bf.....she was stoked to just live it up and some guy asked her out. It quickly ended.

    I think girls in long term relationships completely forget what its like to be single. So they either want to live it up or compare guys to the ex ( both similarities and differences..... not actually getting to know you for who you are without being compared).

    If you do go out with you will have to gauge if shes is the serail monogamy type ( jumps one relationship to the next cuz shes a nice girl type) or the type that parties..... you will have to adjust your game accordingly.


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