how can u talk dirty to a girl
how can u talk dirty to a girl
Hey FauxPas here. It kind of depends on how well you know her. What has worked for me is Escalation. And always, always take it slow. Push/Pull works great. Start simple with, "next time I see you I'll probably give you a big hug, and the awkward part is I might not stop! If I was you I'd run, run for the hills, save yourself! Ha, ha!" Let her respond, see what her Mindset is. I hope this gives you somewhere to start, I'm sure ther are others here who have some excellent ideas. Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.
I usually like to keep it open ended. That way her imagination does the rest of the work for me and it's always catered to what she likes. If you are comfortable with each other and are sleeping together quite a bit already then learn what she likes to hear and use that. Before that point I just try to be a little vague.
I usually start off saying something sneaky that can be taken as either serious or joking. That way I can test her reaction very early on without offending her. It might be something like 'dont send me too many naked pictures later ok, my phone is low on memory ' if she has any sort of intelligence she will clearly know you are joking but her reaction will reveal what you can get away with further on. I have used 'what color underwear are you wearing?' so many times as a non threatening dirty talk opener. It sounds perverted but I've never had a girl not tell me (because it's fashion ultimately). The conversation can be steered in so many directions from there.*
Here is the tail end of a conversation I had last night with an open minded girl I'd never met - first time chatting via message app:
Me: 'are you a good girl, cute girl or bad girl?'
Her: 'I'm a good girl of course'
'that's what all girls say haha but in every good person there is a bit of bad and in every bad person is a bit of good'
'yeah sometimes have to be bad otherwise people can take advantage of you'
'I would take advantage of you whether you were good or bad '
'haha would you now'*
'my lips were made for kissing'
'haha...yeah you do have cute lips' (she can see my picture)
'have you ever heard of the Australian band 'machine gun fellatio?''
'anyway you're at home right? What are you wearing? It's late and you just had a shower so you must be snuggled up chatting to me? '
'haha yes! I'm in my PJ's'
'naked underneath or wearing panties and bra?'
'I'm wearing underwear of course but no bra'
'what color underwear?'
'white...well they have some faint pink floral patterns, victoria's secret '
'stop it! Now your taking advantage of my uncontrollable male imagination'
'see you are a bad girl'
'naughty but nice'
'I can see that...well I can't see actually...unless you sent me some photos'
'no I'm only kidding, I have to get some sleep soon'
'well you have your male imagination'
'I've already slowly peeled off your underwear with my teeth in my imagination'
'I'm ticklish you know'
'my moves are soft but firm, maybe a tickle to your nipple because that rhymes '
'haha you never told me what are you wearing?'
'jeans and t-shirt, similar to my pic'
'simple but sexy'
'I really need some sleep gotta get up early'
'sure it's been really nice chatting. Talk tomorrow?'
'yep, i'll leave you to your female imagination - I hope I don't keep you up all night '
'haha it would be better in person'
'yes it would, night'
I had been talking to this girl for a hour. She was quite sweet but was completely open to everything I said and had I not been so tired I could have escalated it further. Here is a conversation I had with another girl earlier in the week who was not as open minded but I still never crossed a line:
Me: 'you're at home right now?'
'your not like naked on your bed or anything are you?'
'haha no I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt cuz it's hot'
'it's cool at my place, come over'
'you have no respect for women'
'I respect all women, but make no excuses for being a man'
'clearly it was a joke, it's getting late'
'sometimes I overthink things too much, sorry'
'its ok...I am probably overthinking what your legs look like in tiny shorts '
'haha, I have good legs! People often comment on my legs and I'm quite sporty'
'I can't see from your pic, send me a photo'
'oh I see...'*
'you're overthinking again'
'yeah I often do that'
'just think of me gently caressing your silky thighs then'
'(pouting angry emoticons)'
'I hardly know you!'
'I wasn't asking you to think of our biography '
'then I'll move higher up your thighs'
'no! I mean .... (more pouting emoticons)'
'let me guess - your not that type of girl?'
'you are a nun?'
'no haha...maybe I should be a nun'
'then you would have depraved lesbian penguins running their hands up your thighs '
'oh god! That's a wicked thought! You're bad!'
'so me running my hands up your thighs and over your hips up to your perky breasts is quite angelic in comparison'
'aren't you going to sleep?'
'your keeping me up with your monastery fantasies'
'I don't really want to be a nun lol'
'of course...because your also not that type of girl haha '
'haha...Im going to bed now'
'can you chat tomorrow?'
'only if you don't become a nun'
'lol (good emoticons)'
'better yet, let's have a drink after work at______'
'thats fine, what time?'
'7, I can meet you on the cross street nearby, you know what I look like from my pic'
'is 8 ok? I need to do a few things'
'yes I'll see you at 8, goodnight'
(I had to travel with work next day so I didn't meet up with her yet).
Keep it playful and you shouldn't offend many girls. Get a rapport going first like fauxpass said. I also don't really dirty talk with a girl I'm really fond about either (well until we are dating properly). If you meet a girl you are considering a LTR with, a level of seriousness (being a gentlemen) might be more appropriate
Here's another follow on from some 'dirty talking' via chat program. This was not with the girls above but another girl who is a teacher. I had been texting her early last week and after a short period of comfort I started role playing her as the teacher and me the bad student who needed punishment. That worked really well including some 'how would you punish me?...be gently miss' to her 'oh you like it gentle?' me 'I like it both ways ' etc. She is on holidays so I was able to ask 'are you at home?'. Her 'yes'. 'What are you wearing?'....continu iing to 'what color underwear are you wearing?' my tried and tested approach.
I was then busy mid last week but texted her a few times here and there. Nothing fancy 'Im late for work again' blah blah. Just enough to stay in touch. She then asked me out so I met her for lunch. Good girl. She wasn't desperate about it but had made a move. This lunch was great because she was twice as good looking in real life as her pictures. I was really suprised. She was too thankfully. It was an awesome date and I actually got a boner while having lunch with her because I could feel her sexual chemistry. Plus she did all the usual playing with her hair, copying my positions etc. I Kino'd a little but not too much. I grabbed her hands over lunch and admired her nails which she had done herself and she had glittery patterns over them. Her hands were so beautiful I joked she could be a hand model and she said she had indeed done some modelling including hands! Hand and foot fetish mmmm. And a beautiful face with perfect teeth. She had also dressed quite sexually - or at least had dresed in clothes that showed off her tight body. All was very good for that date. Not much more I could do. Then over the weekend again I was quite busy so hardly chatted to her. This was also good as it was a form of Freeze Out. I texted her earlier this week on tuesday I think and we contuined the sexual banter. Again I knew she was at home and asked what she was wearing being such a hot day.
me 'its so hot today - I hope you're chilling somewhere cool and wearing something skimpy '
her 'I'm wearing a shirt!'
'Just a shirt? That's it?'
'Yes....and a black T-back '
'Haha ok...Im at work, hope you're not going to distract me too much now'
'I can't see...send me a picture haha'
'Or are you too shy?'
'I am somewhat shy...need you to activate me' (weird way of putting it but ok I understand)
(I guess I could have pressed for pictures but IMO its not absolutely necessary, Id rather see myself in person)
'Are you a good kisser?'
'haha...and you?' (nice avoidance of answering the question - geez)
'My lips were made for kissing'
'You do have nice lips '
'Ok then... imagine me gently kissing your neck'
'I like a man kissing me gently...' (I'll keep that in mind)
'Imagine me sweeping back your hair and tracing kisses around your shoulders and back, with my other hand on your waist'
'I need...I want...you?'
'Imagine my touches, firm but sensual, discovering the planes of your body, my soft lips dotting down to cup your breasts'
'My kisses and tongue move further down...you arch back'
(she was not really writing anything in return at this point but it didn't matter, I was having fun and Im sure she was - well, she could have been doing anything for all I know - cooking a meal, watching TV or masturbating haha) (also at this point I did not want to go any further because I just wanted to provide temptation not actually start writing about me being inside of her etc - you have to create tension so she gets aroused but needs you in real life to bring it to a climax)
'I'm wondering if I can get out of work and come see you haha'
'haha...wait for me...I have to see a friend off tonight'
'I can't leave work right now, I have a dealine, haha I'm just kidding'
'My friend is a GF not a BF'
'Will you wait for me?'
'Are you free tomorrow?' (again she is asking me out, not me asking her out)
'Yes...I still owe you dinner actually as you got lunch the other day'
'Oh I look forward to it'
'Dont forget the T-back '
(organised details of the date)
So last night we went out for dinner. I picked her up and took her to one of my fool proof date locations with a small trendy cafe on the lower ground floor and cocktail bar on the roof terrace. As soon as we met the chemistry was still there from the lunch date and enhanced by the dirty talk (well 'romantic sensual talk'). I knew this was going to be very easy from the sexual chemistry so I made sure the dinner was more of a quick refuelling and pit stop before moving to the terrace bar. This terrace bar I like because it has this weird service pathway that leads around another section of the building. I have 'discovered this secret private area' of the bar many times with girls haha. So I order us a glass of chilled wine...it's a balmy summer evening, beautiful view and elegant ambience. Candles softly illuminate the lounge spaces beneath a view of the the neon skyline. Almost a full moon too (wonder what effect this has on women??). Awooooo!!
We chat and kino, she is in my arms. There's a lot of people around for a kiss so I 'unexpectedly', yet again, notice the service path leading around the buildings terrace. 'What's this? Wonder where this leads?' I ponder to her. 'Shall we see what's down there??'. I take her arm. She is of course 'OK!'. Intrigue, mystery, adventure. Well not that it mattered at this point, I knew I was about to get this girl. The path leads to a hidden spot that overlooks the reverse side of the city view and we are far enough away from other people we have our own privacy. I press myself into her and kiss her. She was hotter than I thought when I met her at lunch. In the evening darkess up close she is equisite. She was very open towards me sexually, instantly pressing her hips into mine. I'm rock hard already. Actually like with lunch there was an instant sort of chemistry that is always great when you meet certain girls. Natural pheromones. We only kissed for about 2 minutes before she said 'let's go back to my place'. Done deal.
The dirty talk via chatting had bypassed any need for talking about our favourite colors blah blah blah on a date...we both knew where it was going to lead and she had already said 'I want' many times to what I had written. I probably could have even bypassed the date completely and asked her over to my house but I love the whole chase, the romance, the build up.
She wore a black T-back too
It was a great night and because we have hardly chatted about anything else except playful and sexual banter, it automatically programmed the relationship to be more casual and fun without all that clingy rubbish like 'so am I your girlfriend? Do you love me?' blah blah blah
I'm still not so sure how much sexual text flirting I would use with a girl I saw as a potential LTR but I think it's really useful to bring up some sexual tension before meeting on a date because you get all sort of subtle or not so subtle acceptances of your imaginary moves before you even meet. The girl becomes emotionally charged and has to fullfill that fantasy in real life (as do you). Almost all types of girls will talk dirty so don't be afraid of it. Just make sure you twist it to be more sensual and romantic with 'nice girls' and more adventurous and confident with 'bad girls'.