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Thread: Rapport Building Technique

  1. #1
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Rapport Building Technique

    I get a lot of questions about this and let's face it if you are new to this you will have a lot of problemes building rapport. A lot of people are under the misconception that you have to open up to people so they can open up to you and that scares the sh1t out of AFC's, but you don't. The best way to build rapport are cold reads which i will talk about in a moment plus after you do a cold read you can slide in a slightly challenging comment about the other persons way of thinking in order to keep out of the friend zone and build more attraction. Now when i said slightly i mean very slightly you do not want someone to feel bad having opened up to you, always remember that we reward good behaviour so you should reward her opening up to you.

    What is Cold Reading?

    Cold reading is a techning usualy used by psychycs mentalists and illusionastes to make a person feel like they know a lot about them without real prior knowledge. Generally, the cold reader will make a series of vague statements, will observe their reaction, and then will refine the original statements based on the reactions they got. PUA's use this to find commonalities helping to build rapport and comfort plus it is a form of DHV.

    Why a Cold Read:

    People usually won't resist cold reads since they are ambiguous, yet sound true to the listener. She will feel like you understand her, so she will open up even more to you. She will feel like u guys connectedon a deeper level. It is easy to talk to someone whome you have commonalities with.


    How to do a Cold Read?
    • Observe her:
    1. Body language: Know what makes her uncomfortable read her is she extravorted/intravorted.
    2. Listen closely: Is she a realist an idealist?
    3. Notice her clothes and style: Girls who wear high heels and have tattos especially two or more do not see sex as a big deal theese girls are called justifiers. Making her feel that sex is a big deal will end you.
    4. Does she have more girl or guy friends: If she has more guy friends in the groupe that means she is a tester wich means she will respond a lot to teasing and she needs to chase you at all times or she'll loose interest fast.
    In order to further understand the terms justifier and tester i suggest reading this thread and i would like to add that Pandora's Box are the best and most advanced cold reads i've ever seen.

    Then use Barnum Statements(The Forrer effect): Basically these are vague statements that aply to almost anyone. If you have observed her right u should know which ones to use:
    1. I have an intuition about you. I bet you that most people think you've had life a lot easier than you actually have, because of the way you look. I don't think that's the case though. I think you've actually had to work harder than most people and at the same time you've had to play the role and make it seem like it's all coming easy. That must be difficult.
    2. You know you're actually quite tense... i bet you're the kind of person that finds it diffciult to really let go and relax...
    3. You're a shy girl aren't you? You guys need to get her out more.
    4. You have a strong need for others to like and admire you.
    5. There are times when you are very energetic and outgoing, and other times you just like to chill.
    6. Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic.
    If for some reason you are mistaken never take no for an answer always say "Yes But...": Say u used #4 she says No u say yes but you do like the attention dont you or if u used #6 u say yes but they are very far reaching and seem unrealistic to some people around you. This will also help you get into more specific details.
    • Using kokology games like the cube and strawberry fields work like a charm because they also introduce the element of fun here is a thread about some of them.
    Here is a link to an e-book full of short fun kokology games

    • You can use theese timeless questions and interperate there answers:
    1. You must plan your own death. How old are you? How does it happen? And what is the funeral like?
      Interpretation: Talking about how you would like to die says a lot about how you would like to live. This is a great point of reference for commonality. Finding someone who wants to live like you want to live is really special. Most of us aren't living as we'd like to, sharing that desire brings you that much closer to achieving it.
    2. You can be any animal. What are you? You can marry any animal except your own species. What kind of animal do you marry?
      Interpretation: Confident people pick animals who possess qualities they like about themselves. Insecure people pick animals they admire. When selecting an animal for their spouse, they usually select an animal that is least like their last or current BF. For instance, if she says she would be a dolphin it means she admires freedom, intelligence, cuteness, beauty. If she chooses a dog for her spouse's animal, it means that she abhors disloyalty and her ex probably cheated on her.
    3. You can pick your parents from any point in time; they can be real or fictional. Who are they?
      Interpretation: Only those most comfortable with themselves and their families will answer with their own parents. The person's choices for her parents often reflect the qualities and/or conditions that were absent in her upbringing. Rather than draw attention to this, point out that fact that these are qualities which they want to instill in their own children. For instance if her dad was Einstein, she would like her children to be smart and great thinkers. If she wants her mother to be Amelia Earhart, she wants her children to have independence.
    4. If you had to have a tattoo, what and where would it be?
      Interpretation: Tattoos represent permanence. In this day and age, many young people have tattoos, so they will probably show you theirs. This is good, but not the point of the exercise. Let them show it to you. But ask them if they get another one. The symbol or picture holds great meaning to them. The location they would get it likely represents a point of vulnerability to them, or perhaps their sense of style. It's up to you to decide which it is.
    Last edited by Virgil; 07-18-2012 at 05:20 PM. Reason: By request
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  2. #2
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    Just wanted to add a new link to another game i found that i think is great Forest Personality Test
    btw thanks Virgil for fixing the links
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  3. #3
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    I have an update for The Forest Personality Test. U have to ask about the material the vase is made off but seriously who will ever say that the vas is made of plastic metal or wood? So do not ask what the vase made off but say u knock over the vase does it break? Then for the interpretation say that when u are faced with strong adversity u will be strong/crack alone.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  4. #4
    CaptainCory is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    Great post man. I personally like the cube game and have gotten the best results out of it. I'll definitely be bookmarking this. Thanks

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    Really appreciate this post.

    However, I'm not sure kokology works on a lot of girls, as some might not take it seriously and just laugh in your face....I think in this circumstance, the less intelligent and philosophical the girl, the more easily it will work.

    Regards,

    DandyLion

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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    The less a girl thinks in general is definitely easier to work with, as far as "gaming" goes!

    The more philosophical & intellectual she is, the quicker she can pickup on your "pick-up".

    BUT, when girls are in an environment geared towards eliciting emotional responses, (like clubs or concerts or parties..etc) the more likely they are to overlook the techniques we may be using to disable her force field.

    A woman's emotional triggers/switches still remain the same, no matter what. So the techniques can & WILL work, as long as you're confident & congruent in your approach & "routine" (for lack of a better word).

    Soooooo... that means; Even the girls on "high alert" can be disarmed fairly easliy..... if they're having FUN!



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    Interesting routines and scenarios.

    I notice there are no references to places (Where would u go if money was no object?). Do you think those are strong ones also? Kind of hints at future projection ... her and you going to her fantasy place for ex.

    Thanks again for the awesome techniques! I look forward to learning the ones you mention!
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  8. #8
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    Quote Originally Posted by LockDown View Post
    Interesting routines and scenarios.

    I notice there are no references to places (Where would u go if money was no object?). Do you think those are strong ones also? Kind of hints at future projection ... her and you going to her fantasy place for ex.

    Thanks again for the awesome techniques! I look forward to learning the ones you mention!
    Yes of course they are talking about places she would like to go and/or visit and why is a very engaging conversation and gives u a lot of insight about the girl and what she likes.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  9. #9
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    Cool.

    Another question... sometimes when i use similar rapport builders she kinda doesnt know how to respond. As in she is blind sided by the question. If she acts weird should i just move on? Ir tell her think about it?

    Also, what if i leave her the question? Like i drop the q when im ready to end the interaction, set up day2 and follow up? Do u see that as a good angle?
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  10. #10
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rapport Building Technique

    Quote Originally Posted by LockDown View Post
    Cool.

    Another question... sometimes when i use similar rapport builders she kinda doesnt know how to respond. As in she is blind sided by the question. If she acts weird should i just move on? Ir tell her think about it?

    Also, what if i leave her the question? Like i drop the q when im ready to end the interaction, set up day2 and follow up? Do u see that as a good angle?
    1) It could be a number of things:
    -She is shallow
    -She's dumb
    -She wants to think about it cuz she doesn't want to dlv herself
    -She doesn't feel enough comfort towards u to answer
    -She's not used to theese types of questions and truly needs time to think
    No matter what the reason is beeing blind sided and not answering is a dlv right so whenever that happens i want u to put u're hand on her shoulder look her straight in the eye grin and say: " u think too much, u're wasting precious time" then roll off and give her the cold shoulder ( mini Freeze Out ) for a good 5 min. That will make her answer quickly the next time. Be sure to reward her for answering fast after the second time.
    2) No not really why do u see it as a good angle?
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.


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