I get a lot of questions about this and let's face it if you are new to this you will have a lot of problemes building rapport. A lot of people are under the misconception that you have to open up to people so they can open up to you and that scares the sh1t out of AFC's, but you don't. The best way to build rapport are cold reads which i will talk about in a moment plus after you do a cold read you can slide in a slightly challenging comment about the other persons way of thinking in order to keep out of the friend zone and build more attraction. Now when i said slightly i mean very slightly you do not want someone to feel bad having opened up to you, always remember that we reward good behaviour so you should reward her opening up to you.
What is Cold Reading?
Cold reading is a techning usualy used by psychycs mentalists and illusionastes to make a person feel like they know a lot about them without real prior knowledge. Generally, the cold reader will make a series of vague statements, will observe their reaction, and then will refine the original statements based on the reactions they got. PUA's use this to find commonalities helping to build rapport and comfort plus it is a form of DHV.
Why a Cold Read:
People usually won't resist cold reads since they are ambiguous, yet sound true to the listener. She will feel like you understand her, so she will open up even more to you. She will feel like u guys connectedon a deeper level. It is easy to talk to someone whome you have commonalities with.
How to do a Cold Read?
- Observe her:
In order to further understand the terms justifier and tester i suggest reading this thread and i would like to add that Pandora's Box are the best and most advanced cold reads i've ever seen.
- Body language: Know what makes her uncomfortable read her is she extravorted/intravorted.
- Listen closely: Is she a realist an idealist?
- Notice her clothes and style: Girls who wear high heels and have tattos especially two or more do not see sex as a big deal theese girls are called justifiers. Making her feel that sex is a big deal will end you.
- Does she have more girl or guy friends: If she has more guy friends in the groupe that means she is a tester wich means she will respond a lot to teasing and she needs to chase you at all times or she'll loose interest fast.
Then use Barnum Statements(The Forrer effect): Basically these are vague statements that aply to almost anyone. If you have observed her right u should know which ones to use:
If for some reason you are mistaken never take no for an answer always say "Yes But...": Say u used #4 she says No u say yes but you do like the attention dont you or if u used #6 u say yes but they are very far reaching and seem unrealistic to some people around you. This will also help you get into more specific details.
- I have an intuition about you. I bet you that most people think you've had life a lot easier than you actually have, because of the way you look. I don't think that's the case though. I think you've actually had to work harder than most people and at the same time you've had to play the role and make it seem like it's all coming easy. That must be difficult.
- You know you're actually quite tense... i bet you're the kind of person that finds it diffciult to really let go and relax...
- You're a shy girl aren't you? You guys need to get her out more.
- You have a strong need for others to like and admire you.
- There are times when you are very energetic and outgoing, and other times you just like to chill.
- Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic.
Here is a link to an e-book full of short fun kokology games
- Using kokology games like the cube and strawberry fields work like a charm because they also introduce the element of fun here is a thread about some of them.
- You can use theese timeless questions and interperate there answers:
- You must plan your own death. How old are you? How does it happen? And what is the funeral like?
Interpretation: Talking about how you would like to die says a lot about how you would like to live. This is a great point of reference for commonality. Finding someone who wants to live like you want to live is really special. Most of us aren't living as we'd like to, sharing that desire brings you that much closer to achieving it.
- You can be any animal. What are you? You can marry any animal except your own species. What kind of animal do you marry?
Interpretation: Confident people pick animals who possess qualities they like about themselves. Insecure people pick animals they admire. When selecting an animal for their spouse, they usually select an animal that is least like their last or current BF. For instance, if she says she would be a dolphin it means she admires freedom, intelligence, cuteness, beauty. If she chooses a dog for her spouse's animal, it means that she abhors disloyalty and her ex probably cheated on her.
- You can pick your parents from any point in time; they can be real or fictional. Who are they?
Interpretation: Only those most comfortable with themselves and their families will answer with their own parents. The person's choices for her parents often reflect the qualities and/or conditions that were absent in her upbringing. Rather than draw attention to this, point out that fact that these are qualities which they want to instill in their own children. For instance if her dad was Einstein, she would like her children to be smart and great thinkers. If she wants her mother to be Amelia Earhart, she wants her children to have independence.
- If you had to have a tattoo, what and where would it be?
Interpretation: Tattoos represent permanence. In this day and age, many young people have tattoos, so they will probably show you theirs. This is good, but not the point of the exercise. Let them show it to you. But ask them if they get another one. The symbol or picture holds great meaning to them. The location they would get it likely represents a point of vulnerability to them, or perhaps their sense of style. It's up to you to decide which it is.