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  1. #1
    Inception is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    I met this girl a few weeks ago--really cute brunette--at a bar. At first she was showing a lot of interest, and we went out on one pretty fun date. Then I called her and asked her out again, and she sends me a text like "Oh I cant really get involved right now, bla bla". That threw me for a loop since we kissed the first night and she seemed into me. We ended up going out for coffee another time which was nice, but then she has been kind of flaky. We made plans for a drink, she bailed. Then I tried to make plans for two different nights on a weekend and she first seemed interested and then nixed it. Basically, I was where you dont want to be--on the defensive.

    So then I switched up things. I started initiating text convos but not asking her out. But today I kind of demonstrated too much interest, and she stopped responding.

    Now I realize what I need to do: neg her. I hav a feeling she is quite insecure, but she is enjoying my pursuit and my attention. I think what I need to do next is text her and say something like, "Do you ever dye your hair blonde?" When she says No, I will text her "Too bad, my type is tall blondes". I think this will put her in her place.

    Thoughts from the PUAs on the forum?

  2. #2
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    My personal opinion:

    Don't neg. negging is an oxymoron in PU. Here are the two self-conflicting ideals:

    I am high value.

    I have to neg her to knock her down to my level.




    If you are high value, why would you need to knock her down? High value people don't take value from others. They add value to those surrounding them.

    Forget this girl. On to the next one. If she wants to hang out with you then she'll hit you up, but you're too high value to waste your time chasing girls. Go spend time with one of the others in your phone.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  3. #3
    chillout24 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    You don't want to neg over text too much because she won't be able to see your body language and smile. If you do this line I would deliver it like "have you ever thought about dying your hair blonde?"

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    Actually it seems to start off as a neg then turns into qualification. Qualifying a woman is risky if she isn't attracted yet. Making it a full neg would sound like "Do you ever dye your hair blonde? Oh.....well your hair color is still nice." This is a back handed compliment which is part of the neg.

    Chillout24 is right. negging over a text is very risky because you HAVE to be able to use your body to convey the neg properly. Because it is a shot to her self-esteem, if you did this over text she could easily just not respond whereas in person it may be a bit more tasking for her.

    I don't personally use negs, but I feel that they still have a place in PUA. Usually if the value gap between a man and a woman is large and if she has a "Bitch Shield." The rules are only use 3 max. And ALWAYS follow a neg with something unrelated otherwise you risk being completely blown out by her reaction to it. Hope this helps and good luck.

  5. #5
    Inception is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    Hmm, maybe you guys are right. Good post, Cody. You made me re-evaluate things. I guess I've been feeling like an AFC since this girl doesn't want to hang out again. Maybe I should just forget her and move on.

  6. #6
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    negs are tricky.... I don't even think I ever have used a neg. The only time I can say I used a NEG of some sort is during a b1tch test. It wasn't even really that. She was just trying to make fun of me. So I told her, "First off, You don;'t know me. Not sure if it makes you feel better from your possible lack of confidence to make fun of someone, but because you are misbehaving, you go into the time out corner."

    I literally pointed to a corner, she put her head down, walked towards there, and I said, "If you behave you can come back."

    Long story short, ended up with her the end of the night. Solid Close.

  7. #7
    Inception is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    How about not neg her, but insinuate that I just want to be friends and am not attracted to her? Anyone have any ideas on how I could do that? I just want to try out some new things, even if they fail.

  8. #8
    0Rooster0's Avatar
    0Rooster0 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    personally I believe in using every tool in your arsenal. I believe you can be both high value and use negs. High value people use them all the time.
    "I've never seen anyone pull as quickly or as efficiently as you"
    -HarryRat(Simplepicku p)

  9. #9
    Link777 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Think I finally understood the "Neg"

    Maybe you could try Freezing Her Out for a while and hopefully have her crawling back?


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