I haven't been giving enough time to improving with girls lately, but I'm trying to step it up. Honestly, I don't like approaching strangers. I like it as a tool to become socially comfortable, but its not as fun as just interacting in my normal environments. When fall semester hits, I'm going to hit it really hard in school. I like a situation I'm going to that I have other things to do, I feel it not only gives a bit of inherent social proof, I genuinely want to be there for more than women.
So I'm going to class in the summer now that I'm out of the Navy, and its just one class - a singing class. I have a pretty good voice, and the class is 80% female. I'm attracted to about 40% of the class, total. I like this situation, because it puts me at an instant advantage.
I've been outgoing and talking to people about my life in the Navy, and mostly just being myself (or the self I want to be). I sit 2nd row up a little off center, I feel this draws more attention to myself while being a bit more subtle than "front and center".
I want my game plan to be flirting with multiple girls, with only half my intention on seducing any and the other half on increasing my social circle.
I struck up a conversation at the end of class with girl A. After 10 minutes or so, I asked for her number. She seemed almost taken aback, and said something like "for what?" with knitted brows. It seemed like she was more confused than rejecting my advance. "Because I find you attractive and I'd like to see what you're like outside of class?" She smiled and seemed a bit more at ease. "Oh, I have a boyfriend." "Oh, okay." I looked down, showing vulnerability. "But you can have it anyways, if you want to hang out or something." "Sure." I jotted it down. Oh well, a half-sympathy half-platonic interest number is better than no number. Can work on goal number 2, increasing my social circle, even if nothing pans out.
I get her number, send her a few texts more along the lines of conversation than flirtation. I don't like using canned material, but I need to start memorizing some as training wheels. I think both the conversation in the class and the conversation on the text could've been more flirtatious.
I see her next class session. I don't engage her. I had just gotten back from Yellowstone and initiated some small group conversations about it. At first break period, I act like I've just seen girl A for the first time today. "How was your camping trip?" I ask. "Oh, me and my boyfriend just broke up, so I didn't go." I am still kind of in a group conversation at this point, so I didn't want to embarrass her by saying "Well, I guess that leaves more room for me." In hindsight, would that have been the better move?
Anyways, we talk and when I walk out of the classroom, she rushes up to me and says "Hey, I had this funny idea. I was thinking we could sing together for the open mic session of the class." I pause to think. This girl has a worse voice than me. "Oh, forget about it. It was a stupid idea." "Na, let's do it."
There was some confusion about where we would meet to practice it, when we finally found each other I shrugged it off without blaming her or taking blame. I called her a chicken, with a big grin. Big peak in interest.
I sat next to her to look over the song. She basically wanted me to sing 1 line, she sings 2, then we sing the rest in unison. I would rate myself a 7, and her a 5, for voice. "I like the idea of singing together, but looking over this, I'm thinking we need to practice this before trying it." My plan being switch the song to at least one where we have equal singing parts, then sing it next week. And just make the sh1t sound better.
She stopped projecting interest at that point. We had to pick a song out of 5 we want to sing for our final project. I had previously decided on one. She goes up, and says the same song, before me. I said "Oh, you picked the same one I had in mind."
I continued to project interest, and my value got lower and lower. I took it personally, and walked out without saying anything to her. She called my name 15 seconds later, and I called back "Bye Sophia."
40 minutes later I texted her something stupid like "Hey, just driving home thinking about you. Your boyfriend must have been a dunce to leave you."
It was like I lost value, lost more value projecting her opinion of my value actually bothers me, lost even more by telegraphing that when something bothers me I'll give it all up when she gives me a slight bit of attention, then lost any shred I had remaining by texting her. Worst of all, I took my mom's advice and texted her, with those words, afterwards. I'm retarded.
I won't give up or be dishearted, though. I feel I laid some good groundwork in the class. My new plan is just to flirt with all the other girls more, and give her a very modest amount of attention - like nothing happened. I'm going back to my core 2 goals, flirting with multiple women and increasing my social circle.
I messed up a lot here, and I'd like to hear your honest opinion about it. Don't spare your brutality, crucify my short-comings.