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  1. #11
    TheDrive's Avatar
    TheDrive is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    She likes to wear white pants, and she knows that every guy in the dealership is checking her out.

    At this point, I don't think she's quite attracted to me yet, I still have to hook her somehow, and once I do hook her and she is thinking about me when I'm not in front of her, then I'd be more than happy to try and incur an emotional reaction from her.

    Her body language is certainly inviting: things like she'll lean into the conversation with her elbows on the desk when I come and talk to her, she'll position her body towards me, tilt her head, be generally playful. Stuff like that, I still am learning on what all of this exactly means.

    Great response, Whitedragon, very useful information.

    Edit:

    However, I think one of the things for me, the hardest thing to grasp perhaps, is that there is no way she could be attracted to me. I cannot get the thought out of my head that she is out of my league and girls, when little conversation is involved, strictly go off of physical attraction.

    She's a suburb-y white girl, very fit, with a pretty face and a pretty standard suburb-y white girl style of dressing; whereas I'm a slightly overweight East Indian dude. Things working WITH me could potentially be that I'm around her age, I'm working in a decently lucrative field of work, and I've got what most women say to be a very distinguished and developed sense of style. (Apologies if this appears as show-off-y, in all honesty, it's just the justification I use to boost my self confidence a bit! Haha)

  2. #12
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    You have to assume attraction. Women are far less interested in physical appearance but more after a 'connection' so be proud of being different and unique as it might even be the catalyst to forming an interesting connection. She's a suburban white girl working in a car yard - she's not a princess nor immune to her own insecurities. Her 'type' she's looking for is mostly going to be based on personality and what you can provide as a man. Living in a modern day multicultural world being east Indian could even be worked into an advantage. The other guys are hamburgers and you are tikka masala. Unless you're utterly not her type, chances are she'll try you as a change from the fast food menu

  3. #13
    TheDrive's Avatar
    TheDrive is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    Hahaha! That's a hilarious way to look at it. I'll have to pack that in my arsenal of tools to build my confidence in talking to her.

    I found your previous edit rather useful, but still a little too far ahead of what I'm trying to accomplish! But still completely on the right track.

  4. #14
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    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    You can use this thread as your daily blog. I am intrigue on what develops. Others might too. We are rooting for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDrive View Post
    Hahaha! That's a hilarious way to look at it. I'll have to pack that in my arsenal of tools to build my confidence in talking to her.

    I found your previous edit rather useful, but still a little too far ahead of what I'm trying to accomplish! But still completely on the right track.
    ------------------------------------

  5. #15
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDrive View Post
    Hahaha! That's a hilarious way to look at it. I'll have to pack that in my arsenal of tools to build my confidence in talking to her.

    I found your previous edit rather useful, but still a little too far ahead of what I'm trying to accomplish! But still completely on the right track.
    Just take it step by step. A first goal could be to have an awesome conversation with her where you also gather intel and gain attraction. The goal could be to make her laugh and find out what type of man she likes 'who's your favorite actor'. If she starts telling you about pale skinny guys from vampire diaries you might have your work cut out for you but if she says a broader range of actors that you fit into you have a better idea of what to do. Plus you can use that conversation to tease her 'really you like Leo dicrapio?'

  6. #16
    sm00th is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    She seems attractive and knows how to use her attractiveness to flirt and get attention. Nice. Sometimes it helps if you can condition yourself to be not to "in" to her so you don't blank out or act uneasy towards her. But it's easier said than done. I can talk with women but I seem to have a little more difficulty to women I am attracted to. I have a crush on a co-worker myself. As Ross Jeffries once said "I never get rejected, I only discover if a woman has good taste."

  7. #17
    TheDrive's Avatar
    TheDrive is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    Quote Originally Posted by topgunningit View Post
    You can use this thread as your daily blog. I am intrigue on what develops. Others might too. We are rooting for you.
    That's certainly what I'll do, great idea! Thanks mate, I really appreciate it.

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Just take it step by step. A first goal could be to have an awesome conversation with her where you also gather intel and gain attraction. The goal could be to make her laugh and find out what type of man she likes 'who's your favorite actor'. If she starts telling you about pale skinny guys from vampire diaries you might have your work cut out for you but if she says a broader range of actors that you fit into you have a better idea of what to do. Plus you can use that conversation to tease her 'really you like Leo dicrapio?'
    Hey man! That's exactly what I'm hoping to do, don't want to get to ahead of myself, because I AM new to all of this and I don't want to blow it by trying to get ahead of myself without the necessary experience. It's just very tough to get into that conversation, when I have no reason to be at her desk and if I spend more than 1 minute there everyone starts looking over with dirty looks, etc. I'm trying to take the route that I'm not interested in her at all and hoping conversation comes from that outside of her desk. There is a cafeteria at work, and she eats there everyday, but like I said, my coworker was burnt trying to sit and have lunch with her. I certainly want to build rapport but I'm having a tough time trying to think where and how I can start the conversation.

    I have certainly befriended the "protector" figure, we have a lot in common and I'll come and talk to him from time to time, but if I even slightly hit on her, it'll raise alarms and I'm sure they'd talk about it after I leave.

    Quote Originally Posted by sm00th View Post
    She seems attractive and knows how to use her attractiveness to flirt and get attention. Nice. Sometimes it helps if you can condition yourself to be not to "in" to her so you don't blank out or act uneasy towards her. But it's easier said than done. I can talk with women but I seem to have a little more difficulty to women I am attracted to. I have a crush on a co-worker myself. As Ross Jeffries once said "I never get rejected, I only discover if a woman has good taste."
    That's a wicked point, now only to try and get into that Mindset haha. Because I do become slightly nervous around her; I'm sure things would become easier if that was eliminated! That is certainly the next step towards rapport building.

    So nothing to really report from today, just a friendly smile and hey how are you, like every other day.

    I want to somehow approach her while she's on lunch at the cafe at our dealership and have her want me to sit down and talk to her.

  8. #18
    TheDrive's Avatar
    TheDrive is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    So today was pretty neutral and normal up until I took some initiative. One of my customers needed to set an appointment for service, so I went over there, she anticipated my arrival as I approached and watched me until I got to her desk, she said "yello!" with a smile, I said "yo" back. I just needed to set an appointment, so I did that. My customer said that he wanted a service loaner, so I mentioned it to her, and she said that she'd have to check if any were available.

    So I leave to my sales tower and I'm just sitting there and she runs up, and she goes on to explain how none are available. This is where I kind of cut her of and said "I'm going to need the keys to your car then, thanks". She laughed and she said "Well then I'll have to take the bus! Which I'll be doing next September anyways" - "Why?" - "Because, I'm going back to school full-time" - "Where are you going to school?" - "XYZ University" - "Cool, nice school hey? What are you going to be taking?" - "Bachelor of Commerce", this is where another one of the sales guys cuts me off and says "Hey when's your birthday", she is kind of confused, "September 22nd... Why, are you one of those people who find out when a girls birthday is to see their sign to see if you're like... Compatible or not?" He immediately said "NO!" and turned very red. We had actually had a conversation before where I was telling him that I'd gotten to know a bit more about her, that her dog was 15 and they'd have to put him down soon. I told him it'd be bad-ass if I bought her a puppy, haha.

    Anyways, he said "I wanna buy you a puppy then and have you sell cars for me, hahaha" very awkwardly. She just went on to say "Not a chance, I've been in the car business for 2+ years and I know that guys prefer to talk to a guy because apparently girls don't know anything" and then another salesperson, who hits on everything that moves, and who is much older than us, was like "Orrr... You could be like TheDrive and make a whopping $1,200 / month!" Quick fact is that I'm usually on the top 3 podium for salespeople and have been in lead for one month, I'm fairly new to the business and he's been in it for years" and she kind of brushed that joke off and turned back to me. I go on "Anyways... What are you going to do with that commerce degree?" - "Hopefully own a dealership one day so I can be all of these peoples' boss!" jokingly, then she says "Human Resources". I tell her that she'd do really well in human resources and I thank her. And before she leaves, I say "I wasn't kidding about taking your car by the way, I'll be at your desk in a bit".

    So I go over to her desk in 5 minutes, we chat a bit more about the bus, and how she used to take it before and how she's dreading taking it again, and I just make fun of her a bit for it. So it's time for my shift to end and I'd spent the last 20 minutes or so chatting up the "Protector" about cars and track racing and whatnot, and as I'm leaving, I just flash a peace sign, and she does the whole gangster pound the chest and peace, and she messes up and tries it again. I just laugh at her and sarcastically gesture "Nice, you really nailed that one" and she kind of leans out of her seat and says "Bye loser!" very playfully to my back.

    I stop walking, and I turn around, she's laughing a lot, and I walk up to her and lean in... "What was that?" and she covers her face with a paper while laughing, and says "Nothing!" and I just smile and say "that's right" and walk away.

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand fin. Quite the amount of typing. I don't believe I have her hooked yet but she's warming up to me, I also slipped in a joke about how all the salespeople hitting on her must annoy her.

    I just want to know how to transition to her seeking out a personal conversation with me, outside of work-related topics.

    Criticize? What could I have done better? How could I have hooked her?

  9. #19
    TheDrive's Avatar
    TheDrive is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    Brutal brutal brutal...

    Built a lot of rapport today, and seemingly would have been the most progress yet.

    So, in the morning, she was talking about breakfast, and how she likes free food and stuff, and I was playing kind of cocky funny by saying that I have more ammunition to make fun of her with the more she opens her mouth. She was telling me about her family and stuff a little bit.

    Later on, I'm walking by, don't even look at her, and she yells out my name, and says "Guess what I'm doing tonight? I'm going to Taste of XYZ City" and I just said "Sweeet, what are you going to eat there?" She playfully said "free food" as per our previous conversation. Then she went on to tell me what kind of food she liked and that she had travelled to a few places where she had really liked the food.

    So later on, I was talking to my friend's girlfriend who is our main receptionist, and she mentioned "Hey! So-and-so asked about you." I naturally got excited. But she said "We were talking about all the salespeople hitting on us and how we hated a few of them" and apparently the girl I'm after said "Hey, does TheDrive like me?" My friend "I don't know, haven't noticed anything, why?" "Because he's been talking to me quite a bit lately, just wondering"

    And I asked if she said the second part awkwardly or as if she were creeped out, and my friend just said "a little bit, but it didn't seem like a big deal".

    What to make of it? Is this girl just a flirt who likes attention? Was her telling me what she was doing tonight a sh1t test to see if I'd ask her out?

  10. #20
    Nomad is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New girl at work - Just not happening!

    I'm having trouble creating attraction with this girl at work. The tough part of the situation is that I used to work for her dad and he has already introduced me as the party guy who she should stay away from (in a kidding way of course but the damage was done). I started interactions with her as an AFC prior to finding out about the game and all the PUA tactics so obviously things didn't go well. I stopped giving her attention for about 3-4 months and now it seems as if she may be showing some IOIs now. My questions is how do I take this to the next level? I'm not used to having to work within the boundaries of a workplace.


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