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  1. #1
    ke5frf is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re-initiating through texting

    I posted another thread in the texting forum, but I wanted to go into this re-initiating that I did through texting yesterday.

    OK so over the weekend I pretty much backed off and gave her some space. It's been a week since our first date, and through the week the communication was light but I felt like I was in it. Early on I got some good mornings from her, some casual texting, I got her voicemail when I called her (only once) and left a short message. Reply text that she was at a friends shortly after. I definitely detect some "hard to get" playing, but I also know she has been genuinely busy. BTW, both of us divorced with kids, her more than me as far as number of kids, and this week was her time with them. I primarily noticed the communication dropped off sharply when the kids came home.

    However, I did send a few texts that got no response, and on Friday I initiated a convo by mentioning a band that she had mentioned on the date (asking the name of it as I had forgotten)...she was getting her kids ready to take to grandmas for the weekend because she had to work long shifts. So I wished her a good weekend and left it there. I had made a joke that I was looking forward to a phone convo (hadn't had one since the date) but noted that we both had crazy weeks, I jokingly called her a slippery minnow because she seemed to be slipping out of my fingers when I tried to arrange a time to call.

    So Sunday I text "hey little minnow" and I got no reply (I think she was at work).

    Didn't worry about it, but yesterday I texted, "hey real important, I'm concerned, you may need to have a doctor take a look at you". (setting up a joke)

    A couple of hours went by and she replied "Ok I gotta hear this LOL"
    Me: "any blisters in your mouth"? (we had kissed on the date)
    Her: "nope"
    Pause about ten minutes
    Me: "K Good"
    A minute
    Me: "Cuz the doc said either I was sick or I'd been kissing something super hot recently".
    Her: "LMAO I knew there was a line"
    Me: "yeah but admit it I made you think"
    Her: "I just figured you had herpes, I see a lot of sh1t" (medical field)
    Her: "I'm just glad I didn't sleep with you LOL"
    Me: "damn that's the first time a woman ever told me she was glad she didn't sleep with me, damn"
    Me: "ok gotta go! Thanks for playing"
    Her: "Anytime "

    So I wait a couple of hours and this may or may not have been good, but I texted "BTW I'm glad you didn't sleep with me too"....background, I really got the impression from our date and other things that maybe she is working at not coming across as easy. I wanted to give her affirmation that I respect that. I'm "guessing" that she recently slept with somebody pretty quick and got burned, based on some comments that were touched upon, without coming out and saying they had sex quickly.

    I really think she is playing hard to get but restraining her visible level of interest to test me and see if I'm a player or genuine. And on the forum here I have to say that I'm not one to pursue a woman without genuine intentions. To each their own.

    I'm just not historically good with being patient in the hard to get game, though I've been getting better lately. I have to admit, my insecurities always have me guessing that I'm the one being played, held on a string while a woman has another guy more focused in her sights.

    How did that exchange sound? I am very analytical, and I question her initial comment that had a sarcastic tone "ok I gotta hear this one LOL"...like I'm just another chump trying to impress with stupid lines and jokes. ... But then it seemed like she appreciated the attention and the little game. I've never been good at reading all this. I'm trying to work up to that second date, already mentioned it but because of her schedule the past week I haven't pushed it, waiting on sports to end with one of her boys(soon) and this week she is alone so maybe more interaction.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Re-initiating through texting

    Giving her a nickname - excellent

    A conversation that's gonna make her wonder about diseases? Bad (even tho it was fun you still don't want her associating those ideas with you)

    Overall the idea of the game and the play involved is good tho, keep up little games

    Texting her back a few hours later? Also bad. You ended the conversation on your terms and time which was good. Don't keep over texting her it shows way too much interest which can scare her off. Text inconsistently too, if she takes a while to respond so should you, and remember you don't have to respond to everything, in fact you shouldn't. Besides it was over on a good note don't get too focused on what you missed

    Reinitiate with the minnow but make it funnier, no more of this how you doing, like... Hey minnow get eaten by a shark yet? Or whatever. Use that to reinitiate a new date. Well since you haven't been made in to sardines yet meet me for some seafood later at x

    Let me know if you need more clarity I tried to cover most of your points
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    ke5frf is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Re-initiating through texting

    Thanks for the advice Baron.

    Trust me I thought it through with the joke, she's a nurse and I kind of felt that she could handle a joke like that, and I think my instinct was right. I ordinarily would not have went the VD route lmao.

    Yeah I gotta lay low today, I even intentionally deleted all of her contact info and wrote it down on paper to help me resist the urge to initiate texting for a few days.

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Re-initiating through texting

    I'm with Red Baron. The main focus of texting is to set a meet date. It CAN be used to built comfort, but it's preferred to do that in person especially if you have hung out already and she knows you're not some kind of creeper. It's also used to "keep her on ice" if you have trouble setting a meet date so the joking behavior that you did was great....just not about the possible disease part lol. Don't worry man she already likes you, so you don't have to try too hard. You'll notice a unique and beautiful power in simplicity. Hope this helps and good luck.

  5. #5
    ke5frf is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Re-initiating through texting

    Yeah I'm pretty sure she likes me too, it's been well over two weeks since we first started talking, over a week since that first date, and she is still on the hook.

    My problem simply put is that I have primary custody of my youngest son, and though I have a good paying career, I am cautious about dating. I can't afford every weekend going out, especially not to go "hunting". If I'm gonna go out, I want it to be with an established date. So, I rely on meeting women on the Internet primarily. I've had a few short term 2-6 month girlfriends that way, but I have found that there are two types on the Internet 1) needy, desperate women 2) women in my predicament who don't want to haunt clubs.

    The latter is usually the more desirable women, unless you're dipping into the hot early 20s girls, but I've found most of them are just attention "hos".

    I've found myself in the past not having the patience to last through the hard to get ones, mainly because it just seems like they are also looking for the next best option to come along. I come with some baggage, and I know the good ones get dozens of messages a day. It's easy to get frustrated with Internet dating because I know for a fact that I've had potentials stolen right out from under my feet many times. So it feels really good to have made it this far with someone who isn't a flake!!

  6. #6
    PUAatmosphere's Avatar
    PUAatmosphere is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Re-initiating through texting

    Reading over that little exchange had me LMAO, but more importantly your target seemed quite amused. I definitely agree with the above that you should focus more on interacting with her in person and less on texting. That being said the nickname is a fun, and I think the Red Baron offers some great ideas about how to play with that (while staying away from more VD humor)


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