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Thread: What should be my approach with this girl?

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    AnyGivenTimeADay is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default What should be my approach with this girl?

    Sorry if I sound like a noob guys, I'm new, just need some good advice..

    There's a girl I really like and we've been hanging out a lot recently, and since she's not gonna be hanging out at the usual place for much longer, I'm thinking next time I see her I should ask her to go out with me. I think I'll be like "hey wanna go out sometime?" And if she says yes I'll be like "cool, so how about you give me ur number and I'll call you" and call her 2-3 days later. How does that sound? What advice can you give me on the subject?

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    Default Re: What should be my approach with this girl?

    Honeslty?
    Straight up advice.....

    Scrap that idea. That's how most guys would handle it, & it makes you look unsure, boring, & lame.

    You need to create a sense of fun!! She needs to see you as a guy who can bring something interesting & exciting into her life.

    If you approach, you need to be confident. Period.
    And have a plan! A REAL plan.
    Not just "hang out with friends", or "we'll see if we can think of something".... It needs to be solid!

    But, when it comes time to asking her out... don't think of it as "ASKING". That's a huge mistake.
    You need to present it to her like you already have stuff going on, you're giving her the opportunity to roll with you, because you think she MIGHT BE cool enough.

    (Not in an arrogant way though... she just needs to feel like that's the case, & almost like you're doing her a favor by inviting her to come along.)

    If it's a party, tell her: "Heya, I'm going to a party & it's gonna be a total blast. You should roll with me & come along!!"

    Or

    "Hey, I'm thinking of going to a party, but can't find anyone cool enough to go with me. Do you know anyone? You know, maybe someone kinda like you?"

    You get the idea....
    Make it fun!

    Be interesting & give her a reason to want to get together with you.
    Trust me, I made the mistake of doing the whole thing like: "Hey, wanna go out sometime? I mean that is, if you're not already busy & don't have plans...."

    It NEVER worked.

    So, Recap:
    Be confident, interesting, funny, & have a plan.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

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    Default Re: What should be my approach with this girl?

    I remember an episode of That '70s Show (miss that show) where Hyde actually gets a little case of oneitis with this girl just after meeting her. This is how the convo went...

    Me: Hey I was wondering if you maybe wanted to do something sometime?

    Her: Sorry I DID something LAST night, and I already made plans for sometime.

    Me: Let me try that again. If you're not doing anything Friday night, I'd like to take you to a dinner and a movie.

    This was priceless in the fact that alot of guys ask "Lets hang out sometime" and most women would generally like to hang out sometime, but that standard for fun is just above doing nothing. So the only time she would take you up on your offer is if she had absolutely nothing fun to do. That's a pretty low bar. It's better to be the fun that she wants to have.

    So don't ask if she WANTS to hang out. Always assume attraction. Even if she isn't attracted, this will convey in your behavior towards her and increases your chances of her actually becoming attracted.

    Also we are not sure how your interactions have been previously so you may be in the friend zone if you haven't flirted with her or did any attraction material. If you ARE in the friend zone then it's best to invite her out as a friend, then when you are finally hanging out, you can escalate with her.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: What should be my approach with this girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    I remember an episode of That '70s Show (miss that show) where Hyde actually gets a little case of oneitis with this girl just after meeting her. This is how the convo went...

    Me: Hey I was wondering if you maybe wanted to do something sometime?

    Her: Sorry I DID something LAST night, and I already made plans for sometime.

    Me: Let me try that again. If you're not doing anything Friday night, I'd like to take you to a dinner and a movie.

    This was priceless in the fact that alot of guys ask "Lets hang out sometime" and most women would generally like to hang out sometime, but that standard for fun is just above doing nothing. So the only time she would take you up on your offer is if she had absolutely nothing fun to do. That's a pretty low bar. It's better to be the fun that she wants to have.

    So don't ask if she WANTS to hang out. Always assume attraction. Even if she isn't attracted, this will convey in your behavior towards her and increases your chances of her actually becoming attracted.

    Also we are not sure how your interactions have been previously so you may be in the friend zone if you haven't flirted with her or did any attraction material. If you ARE in the friend zone then it's best to invite her out as a friend, then when you are finally hanging out, you can escalate with her.
    Bingo!

    Batman Once again, takes the proverbial ball & runs it in for a touchdown! (American NFL Football for those of you outside of the USA)

    The key thing we're both saying is: don't be wishy-washy...
    Don't be timid & unsure of yourself.

    Don't place yourself in the position of looking needy or desperate; or like you have no life & would be thrilled to finally get a chance to be with this girl.
    (Even if that IS the case, SHE doesn't need to know it)


    You need to re-invent yourself in a way..... especially in your own head!

    You're the cool guy. She should be feeling like she wants to hang with you, and be hoping you invite her along. (not "ask" her.)

    Make sense?


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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