Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 6 of 6
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Getting out of friend zone? Is this possible?

  1. #1
    DandyLion's Avatar
    DandyLion is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,509, Level: 23
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 91
    Overall activity: 3.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Ventura
    Posts
    305
    Points
    1,509
    Level
    23
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    80

    Question Getting out of friend zone? Is this possible?

    Hello,

    I am wondering if it is possible to get out of the friendzone with a girl I know from when i studied abroad in Spain 3 years ago. Ever since then, we have been writing eachother letters, but never have talked about anything sexual. I've tried to pick up on her a few times but my attempts were usually pretty bad and looking back now, knowing what I do, I understand why i easily and foolishly messed up.

    I knew she liked me when I first arrived in Spain, but I had a gf, and naturally, she lost interest.

    So my question is: is there anyway I can move out of the friendzones, perhaps by what i write in the letters, or how i talk to her on facebook.

    Actually, we've been talking on facebook, and here are some messages i thought were somewhat getting me there, but tell me what you think:

    Her: Haha you're crazy
    Me: And you're like my little sister, annoying and adorable haha :P
    Her: Haha adorable?
    Me: Yes, that's why i hate you
    Her: So you hate me... :'(


    Regards,

    DandyLion

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,552, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Most PopularCommunity Award
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,151
    Points
    31,552
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    1389

    Default Re: Getting out of friend zone? Is this possible?

    I remember being friends with a woman for almost 10 years before we slept together. It took 2 weeks from the time I decided to do it til the time we actually did the deed.

    My overall main Mindset was "change her mood, not her mind." So many guys try to CONVINCE their friend why they would make a good bf or even a good lay. Bad idea. The risk is too high that you will just castrate yourself.

    It's better to just flirt with her and build up some playful Kino with her. NEVER talk about yourselves being together. If she brings it up then just say that you aren't sure it's the best idea. Or that you are not looking for anything serious. You know her better so that will be left up to your best judgement on what you tell her. But it's best to avoid talking about it completely, even if you have to change the subject without answering any questions. Just keep escalating and getting her comfortable with the idea of you two sleeping together without verbalizing it. Look at any mention of a relationship on her end as plausible deniability. Most of the time it's really her talking to herself so you don't even need to answer. Just let her get used to the idea while you continue to escalate with kino and flirting.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Getting out of friend zone? Is this possible?

    Quote Originally Posted by DandyLion View Post
    Hello,

    I am wondering if it is possible to get out of the friendzone with a girl I know from when i studied abroad in Spain 3 years ago. Ever since then, we have been writing eachother letters, but never have talked about anything sexual. I've tried to pick up on her a few times but my attempts were usually pretty bad and looking back now, knowing what I do, I understand why i easily and foolishly messed up.

    I knew she liked me when I first arrived in Spain, but I had a gf, and naturally, she lost interest.

    So my question is: is there anyway I can move out of the friendzones, perhaps by what i write in the letters, or how i talk to her on facebook.

    Actually, we've been talking on facebook, and here are some messages i thought were somewhat getting me there, but tell me what you think:

    Her: Haha you're crazy
    Me: And you're like my little sister, annoying and adorable haha :P
    Her: Haha adorable?
    Me: Yes, that's why i hate you
    Her: So you hate me... :'(


    Regards,

    DandyLion
    Oh yeah, it's TOTALLY possible to UN-Friend zone" yourself... but different girls require different methods, so there's not just one sure-fire way to go about it.

    The "teasing" method like you've just started, is one of the best.
    Although, be sure not to over-neg.... especially at first.
    After the "That's why I hate you " comment, you need to do a little pulling.
    Something like, "Yeah, I hate you because you're too stinkin' cute! If you don't quit being so cute, I'll totally develop a crush on you, and then..."

    Be sure to the the ellipse (3 dots) at the end.
    This will create a little drama & mystery, and will pique her curiosity. It's great hook!

    Her next message will most likely be along the lines of, "And then what??"

    Just be sure to wait a tad longer to reply back, to really stir up her emotions. Then be thinking of what to tell her next.
    Be sure whatever you say is something that will escalate the attraction a little bit more. Not too much at first, because going from 0-100 can freak a girl out..... so kinda' Ease into it a little at a time.

    You could say something like, "And then I'll want to hug you & cuddle you, and..."

    Her: probably something along the lines of, "and what?" or "OMG just tell me! "

    YOU: "and the next thing you know, you'll be trying to kiss me! I mean I'm sure I'd let you, because by that time I'll be wanting to kiss you too... so like I said, you better quit being so darn cute! ;o)"

    So, what's happening here is, you're gradually "turning up the heat" just enough to get her attention, without making it too uncomfortable.
    She'll know you're interested & flirting, and yet she almost won't even see it coming. She may even start wondering why she's feeling differently about you.

    OR.... worst case scenario, she simply declines & says she'd rather just be friends. (which is no change from where you already are, right?)

    Either way you've not nothing to lose by trying.

    I say give it a shot!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    Conquistador82's Avatar
    Conquistador82 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 942, Level: 17
    Level completed: 43%, Points required for next Level: 58
    Overall activity: 9.1%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    182
    Points
    942
    Level
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    53

    Default Re: Getting out of friend zone? Is this possible?

    It is hard to get out of the friend zone once you fall in it. That said..you have to go out and get girls. Make sure that the target sees you with other attractive girls. Make sure that you are the leader of men, become in the leader "the alpha male" that women can not resist. And the most important thing, don't put her in a pedestal, treat her like any other girl. Tease her and bust her balls!

  5. #5
    DandyLion's Avatar
    DandyLion is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,509, Level: 23
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 91
    Overall activity: 3.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Ventura
    Posts
    305
    Points
    1,509
    Level
    23
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    80

    Default Re: Getting out of friend zone? Is this possible?

    Quote Originally Posted by tmalonetn View Post
    Oh yeah, it's TOTALLY possible to UN-Friend zone" yourself... but different girls require different methods, so there's not just one sure-fire way to go about it.

    The "teasing" method like you've just started, is one of the best.
    Although, be sure not to over-neg.... especially at first.
    After the "That's why I hate you " comment, you need to do a little pulling.
    Something like, "Yeah, I hate you because you're too stinkin' cute! If you don't quit being so cute, I'll totally develop a crush on you, and then..."

    Be sure to the the ellipse (3 dots) at the end.
    This will create a little drama & mystery, and will pique her curiosity. It's great hook!

    Her next message will most likely be along the lines of, "And then what??"

    Just be sure to wait a tad longer to reply back, to really stir up her emotions. Then be thinking of what to tell her next.
    Be sure whatever you say is something that will escalate the attraction a little bit more. Not too much at first, because going from 0-100 can freak a girl out..... so kinda' Ease into it a little at a time.

    You could say something like, "And then I'll want to hug you & cuddle you, and..."

    Her: probably something along the lines of, "and what?" or "OMG just tell me! "

    YOU: "and the next thing you know, you'll be trying to kiss me! I mean I'm sure I'd let you, because by that time I'll be wanting to kiss you too... so like I said, you better quit being so darn cute! ;o)"

    So, what's happening here is, you're gradually "turning up the heat" just enough to get her attention, without making it too uncomfortable.
    She'll know you're interested & flirting, and yet she almost won't even see it coming. She may even start wondering why she's feeling differently about you.

    OR.... worst case scenario, she simply declines & says she'd rather just be friends. (which is no change from where you already are, right?)

    Either way you've not nothing to lose by trying.

    I say give it a shot!
    Thank you,

    But don't you think that's taking a little fast...maybe just with what i've tried in the past, but i kind of feel like that might be too fast.

    Regards,

    DandyLion

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Getting out of friend zone? Is this possible?

    Quote Originally Posted by DandyLion View Post
    Thank you,

    But don't you think that's taking a little fast...maybe just with what i've tried in the past, but i kind of feel like that might be too fast.

    Regards,

    DandyLion
    It might be a little soon to throw out the "want to kiss" part of it.... I'm not sure what your situation is, so that's something you'll need to personally gauge yourself.

    You can probably use the cuddle & hug part, because it's one of those "cute/sweet" things that every girls loves.

    But if you're unsure about the "kissing" part, you could move to "holding hands all the time"... or something totally silly -
    "I'd possibly start writing poems for you & I can't write poetry so it would come out all weird like, 'roses are red, violets are blue, Elvis wrote a song about Blue Suede Shoes'. See what I mean? I stink at poetry, so you better stop being so cute!! "

    But keep in mind, to get OUT OF the "friend zone", you have to make it known to her that you want to be more than friends, & take that risk by being bolder that a mere friend would be.

    Remember the "Risk/Reward factor".

    If you're too laid back & too chill, you'll have a difficult time getting over the "friendship hurdle".


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


Similar Threads

  1. How to get out of the friend zone (it's possible)
    By S5lover in forum General Questions
    Replies: 20
    Last Thread: 12-28-2011, 11:53 PM
  2. got put in the friend zone. need some help with this
    By briggsy420 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 08-26-2011, 03:12 AM
  3. friend zone help
    By kartoshka893 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 08-26-2011, 12:44 AM
  4. friend zone.... really?
    By Mr. Nice Guy in forum General Questions
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 01-03-2011, 02:30 AM
  5. Trying to GET INTO friend zone
    By BMQ in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 05-31-2010, 03:28 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com