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  1. #11
    SexualSorcerer333 is offline PUA Forums Banned
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    Default Re: What to do when you see a ring on her finger

    yea and its not fair because we have such an advantage. Its not fair to either the husband or the wife. The only time I could see using it would be if he was abusing her and she couldnt break free.

  2. #12
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    PUAatmosphere is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What to do when you see a ring on her finger

    Quote Originally Posted by SexualSorcerer333 View Post
    yea and its not fair because we have such an advantage. Its not fair to either the husband or the wife. The only time I could see using it would be if he was abusing her and she couldnt break free.
    Personally I don't see it as justified even in an abusive situation. If that's the case, she need a friend to support her. Not a one-night stand with an aspiring PUA. You're also taking some risks for your safety by mixing up in that.

    Interesting comments about beta-backsliding. Reading over some mainstream female and male relationship materials, it seems that it's natural for us to stop working on self-improvement and confidence once we're in a relationship. There are many stages where the backsliding can happen: committed relationship, "I love you," engagement ring or marriage.

    Sometimes single gals wear a ring to avoid attention or married gals don't wear a ring to get attention. I've found that it's nice to ask about the ring to point out that you've noticed it. You can still use the set as a warm-up to help you get social momentum. You could even build it into a friendship where she might set you up with some of her single friends.

    Life isn't black and white nor shade of gray. It's a beautiful double rainbow.

  3. #13
    SexualSorcerer333 is offline PUA Forums Banned
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    Default Re: What to do when you see a ring on her finger

    lol believe me I would never go through all the work it would take to break a marriage apart for a one night stand. It would be if she was already a friend who I had developed feelings for or something (and was in an abusive relationship).

    Thank you for telling me that letting yourself go in a relationship is called beta backsliding, that is very interesting to know that there is actually a term for it. Where did you learn about this?

  4. #14
    PUAatmosphere's Avatar
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    Smile Re: What to do when you see a ring on her finger

    liukang75 was actually the one who mentioned beta-backsliding. I'm really quick about picking up the PUA terminology. (I have a background in sales, communications and linguistics) However, all of the lingo makes it challenging to talk to my AFC friends about this stuff. I just googled the term, and it looks like there's plenty of info out there about it. Similar concept is mentioned in The Rules by Ellen Fein. (Yeah, gals work on clever tactics to win us too.)

    My main wingman was pining after a gal who'd been in a two-year relationship. I didn't think that there was any hope for him. Next thing I know I'm hosting a party and she's coming with him "as friends." Just the previous night they'd gone out for drinks "as friends." Her boyfriend had been flaking on social plans and otherwise making mistakes to lose her interest.

    It wasn't too much longer before she showed up a my friend's place saying that she was still dating her boyfriend, but also starting to see other people. He hadn't run any of the boyfriend destroyer material on her. The boyfriend had basically destroyed it all on his own with his beta-backsliding.

  5. #15
    SexualSorcerer333 is offline PUA Forums Banned
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    Default Re: What to do when you see a ring on her finger

    Yea a lot of really good women are locked into relationships, but the thing about relationships is that they do eventually end. Even half of marriages do too. I guess sometimes you just have to just be patient.


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