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Thread: How to fill those awkward silences

  1. #1
    petrovinkov is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to fill those awkward silences

    Here's some background information:

    So I've just recently come into the pickup community and only just started trying talking to women as more than friends. Overall, I have a fair amount of social skills but they are not the best; I think it's a product of my upbringing being an only child among other things.

    My text game is solid; the extra few seconds to collect thoughts between messages gives me what I need to send out bomber texts. It's the in-person contact that I have trouble with.

    Either way, I have begun to get better at speaking with people, but I always end up smacking into a brick wall when it comes to trying to hold a lengthy conversation. What are some of the things you guys do to fill in awkward silences, especially with a woman that is reserved?

  2. #2
    TheSitch is offline Banned111
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    Default Re: How to fill those awkward silences

    I have the same problem so I got a checklist app on my phone in which I fill out subjects to talk about in advance.

  3. #3
    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to fill those awkward silences

    There are plenty of ways to combat the awkward silence. The best thing to do is use hooking points (read them up, Mystery pioneered it and its a skill that will never be out of date unlike some of his other techniques).

    Learn some fun kokology games like the cube, the strawberry Field Test.

    Use questions like "your favourite childhood memory" or "what did you want be when you where a child" These questions lead to comfort and allows you to tap into their subconscious and allows them to express their feelings. Most girls whether they be friends or targets I ask these questions to normally come out with "Wow this is some deep conversation" which is what they love, they love having an emotional connection with guys but can often lead to the friendzone if you don't display interest along with the escalation of Kino.

    Hoped this helped pal and good luck!

  4. #4
    Siedways is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to fill those awkward silences

    Don't. Let her be the one trying to fill the silence. I do this on dates. I NEVER try to think of what to do. Just flows...
    She should feel awkward, like she's the boring one. Another note, those "awkward silences", alot of the time that is when you build attraction. Just look at her. Project SEX at her. Whatever you do, don't filter yourself or worry about what to say next just fucking talk.
    As long as you are not trying to impress, either is fine, silence , or talking... eye contact during the silences creates attraction.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How to fill those awkward silences

    I've said this before: (Of course, while I'm smiling) "Hey, how come you're trying to let the awkward silence creep in? What's wrong with you??"

    Basically it acknowledges the situation & makes a joke about it.... which causes her to laugh & release the Tension / anxiety, allowing her to relax & feel more comfortable.

    PLUS, you get to throw that playful neg / tease in there; which is always fun!

    When you state the obvious like that, it lessens the effect the situation itself is having. It also prevents you from becoming nervous & fidgety. (Which would destroy the air of confidence you're wanting to project.)

    So, by "owning" the moment & taking control, you demonstrate a several "Alpha" qualities.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

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    Andezy29 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to fill those awkward silences

    It's good to move conversations off of her, since we tend to keep asking her things about herself it starts making it hard on us to keep finding more interesting questions. Try turning away and looking at the scenery and making jokes about it. Point out some old guy and say hey, look he has nice posture I think you want him! Or hell point at a fucking bush and say hey I think that bush likes you, get it now or forever hold your peace!

    Point out anything you find cool, and say how you love it:
    I love that sign! Just the way it pops, it's got class.
    Haha I love that commercial, those kind of dogs are awesome.
    Hey check that dog out, it's got swag!
    What my favorite song is on, don't make me dance!
    Hey shh you hear that? It's called silence, isn't it awesome?
    Hey isn't that the guy you love, why's he so lonely.
    What, how dare that guy wear my favorite shoes! Give them back!

    These kinds of things buy time, and mean nothing other than your comfortable to say ANYTHING and it opens up a window into your character and lets her relax and join in. It can be anything at all, just take anything and add something to it to make it better, or fake enthusiasm, girls will laugh and start faking too.

    Hope this helps!


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