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Thread: Taking those first steps past approach anxiety

  1. #1
    dboiipdx is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Taking those first steps past approach anxiety

    I've finally gotten to the point where I feel stable enough in my mind where I can push past Approach Anxiety and begin to open girls.

    Last night I was out with friends. A girl takes a seat at our table to have a smoke(outside). My friend and I are having a weird conversation about which time of day has the most lines in it (too weird to explain). Anyways, without thinking I bring her into the conversation and she engages. She hangs out and I talk with her. I have good eye contact and good voice projection. SHE asks for MY name (ioi). She has to get back to her friend and says "it was SOO nice to meet you". I give a high five and lock fingers (Kino). Then I have that millisecond thought in my head (get her number! No wait, you can do that later). That was my first f up.

    I decided I wanted to get her number after she'd gone back to her friend. At this point, I've built it up too much in my head. I walk up and ask if she likes this club that we are going to next. She gives an emphatic "No!" Since I had it built up too much in my head, I had expected a different response. At that point, I got nervous and started asking interview questions. I had screwed the vibe up and decided it was time to GTFO. She was friendly and said nice to meet you and hugged me.

    I failed yet I succeeded. I am happy with my efforts but not with the results. But it is awesome to know that I can approach, engage, and build attraction. But next time when I know the time is right to get that number, I will get those mother-f'ing digits!

    Peace.

  2. #2
    D1v1ou$$'s Avatar
    D1v1ou$$ is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Taking those first steps past approach anxiety

    This is what the forums are here for, good on you. Id say though on a side note, stop over thinking it, flow with it, ask yourself what's the worst that can happen? You ask for her number she screams throws a fit tosses 151 on you and sets you on fire? at least then you can say that's a first and it's not a failure because she acknowledged you, it's all about the Mindset my friend, stay on it.
    You can't miss something you've never had, but I can be sure she will regret her opportunity...

    Better known as Debauchivalrious...

  3. #3
    Banners90's Avatar
    Banners90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Taking those first steps past approach anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by dboiipdx View Post
    (get her number! No wait, you can do that later). That was my first f up.

    I decided I wanted to get her number after she'd gone back to her friend. At this point, I've built it up too much in my head.
    I just realised something about myself after reading this passage;

    I. DO. THIS. A LOT!

    Half the time I never realise I do it. Hence why I have never tried to correct it and thus halved my conquests. Thanks for inadvertently making us aware if it haha.


    Peace
    PER ARDUA AD ALTA

  4. #4
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    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Taking those first steps past approach anxiety

    Great to hear that you're using the mess up to fuel you harder next time! Doing really well. Yeah, my mentor taught me to always push for the close ASAP, since you don't know what's going to happen if she leaves your side.

  5. #5
    TomInVegas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking those first steps past approach anxiety

    It looks like you pushed a new edge and learned along the way. That's awesome! Keep opening girls and enjoy the experience.

  6. #6
    NoctisCaelumPUA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking those first steps past approach anxiety

    Wow legendary post mate. Good outlook, awesome story, and all around you sound like a real swell guy. That's usually what happens when we started out approaching we made the common mistakes like worrying about what to say next, having extreme aa, saying stupid stuff, being too needy or approval seeking, and all around just going about AFC (hey like this club we are going to?) you would have had her going and probably roaring laughing if you were a little more Alpha. The thing of it is I have done 100 approaches and I love it when I make women laugh as it makes everything so much easier. Of course I am always shocked when the women who push back the hardest and give the most resistant can flip so easily and pursue me hard by coming up to make out with me which is usually shocking for a ice cold stunner.

    Now getting numbers is easy work, you'll get it. I usually try to go for something more before getting their number such as a little grinding on the dancefloor, a make out, a bar/club pull, plenty of kino, and ioi's. I like to run a very serious number of routines to close these girls out but love it when they are into me right away and like oh so compliant. I think I will start making out with them more when they are so easily ready to give up their number and I know it is too easy then I will try to isolate to get some action.

    But anyway getting numbers is about attraction. My record is 4 numbers in one night from one Bar in roughly half an hour. The girls were so into me that night it was too farking easy so I am taking a break to decide what I want and next year plan on an f-close, get another 30-40 yr old GF, try to date a sugar momma, ha ha. Yeah but either way AA will hold you back in many ways just keep plugging away till you get good. Your best instructor is yourself in field.
    101 Sets, 30 #'s, 4 K-closes, 1 Date, 1 Bar Pull. My next adventure starts Summer 2014 at the Brewfest, Water Park, Bars, Clubs, etc. Getting Hotels now to prevent driving drunk so really only 2-3 times a month doing Night Game June-Oct. Lots of Day Game.

  7. #7
    Adam Taylor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking those first steps past approach anxiety

    cdharders is right, get the number ASAP. One of my wings for example is just isn't able to close. He always build comfort, has great convo, reach the attention, but he just stuck at it - can't close the deal with the digits. Huge problem, but can be solved very easily.
    As for me, I always looking for massive IOIs like 3 sentences after the approach. Run some routines, make her laugh etc. and waiting for the point, when I feel she is hooked. Like when she doesn't care about the club environment, her friends, the people around her - just paying attention to me. I usually test it with some Kino, that actually looks weird from the 3rd person prospective - but is she doesn't care about it, I'm in the good path. I always say it, that one of my favourite is the cube routine - I usually run it when I know the girls is in comfort with me and attreacted to me. I always make her eyes closed while playing it, and hold her hand during the routine - great Kino and awesome proof that it's a winwin situation. After that, i usually tell her (of course only after I ask for a cheek-kiss because I get to know so much about her with this Cube game lol): "Ok, now you should go back to your friends, I should go back to mine, give me your number, we're gonna grab some coffe sometimes and continue it". Bamm, close on the top of the convo, always success.
    The main thing is that when you feel sooo great with a girl, had a great vibe, great convo - that's the point you have to close it. Because if you are in the top, it's not gonna get better, only worse.


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