Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 8 of 8
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By qdown

Thread: Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

  1. #1
    DJThuht is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 67, Level: 1
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 33
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    8
    Points
    67
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

    I just moved to a new [big] city, and I have about a week left before school kicks off. Since I moved about a week ago, I've had time to pick up The Mystery Method and go out about every night and try out techniques. Last night was Taco Tuesday, where virtually every bar/grill in this community has cheap tacos and whatnot. These places are busier on a Tuesday than on Friday/Saturday. It's the type of setting where you have to lean in to be heard, which I know you're not supposed to do.

    Anyway, so its busy, and there's a pool table in the corner with a big wooden plank over it, with a decently cute girl (6-7) leaning on it. I thought "hey, here's something unusual, I'll try a situational opener." So I went over to the table and stood next to her- facing the table, I asked over my shoulder "Hey, do you know what the deal is with the table?" And I kind of examined it. When I looked back at her, she was already 5-10 feet away, backing up, staring at me wide-eyed, clutching her drink. Like, you'd think I walked up to her with a baseball bat in my hand or something. So I figured I'd bounce and get back to my friends.

    So then a buddy and I spot a 4 set of 7-8's standing pretty much right next to us. So I turn a little bit and again, over my shoulder, use the jealous girlfriend opener to the one that is more isolated from the other 3. First she asks "what" and asks me to repeat myself. So I explain the situation again, and she asks "I don't know- why are you asking me?" So I say "Ah, we just wanted a girl's opinion. Never mind."

    Am I being threatening/aggressive, or what? I mean, I'm a pretty harmless looking guy- 5'11", 150lbs, no piercings, tattoos or anything. I'm very clean cut. I've had better luck earlier this week, but last night I just completely struck out, so I'm wondering if I did something wrong.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 16,918, Level: 83
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 432
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    995
    Points
    16,918
    Level
    83
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    734

    Default Re: Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

    It's really tough to say, but failing off your first 2 approaches is nothing to be worried about. Every time I'm out of the game for a while and jump back in it seems like no ones being receptive to me and I have no idea why, but it goes away. There may be something you need to calibrate, if so it will come soon as you loosen up. Or it may just be the girls

    Either way don't get discouraged
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Achilies's Avatar
    Achilies is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,481, Level: 22
    Level completed: 81%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    204
    Points
    1,481
    Level
    22
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    76

    Default Re: Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

    you may way to recheck your body language. Approach them straight on, and have welcoming body language. Seems they are subconsciously turned off... not too many times have girls been straight up rude to me

  4. #4
    DJThuht is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 67, Level: 1
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 33
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    8
    Points
    67
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

    Alright, thanks guys. Usually people are very nice, or at least tolerant, so these responses threw me off a little bit. Maybe I should try approaching more mixed sets to warm up a little bit.

    The first guy I met when I moved here is about 10 years older than me, but I was sitting at the bar when he walks up and says "looks like we got the plaid brigade going on over here" (we were both wearing plaid), and we just shot the shit for a little while. Turns out he knew probably 50% of the people in the bar just because he lives a few streets over and frequents it all the time. I'm always suspicious of the Social-Proof phenomenon just because, while he knew a ton of people, he was kind of an odd guy. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want to be THAT guy by making a ton of friends that I really don't have anything in common with.

    My friend is coming into town and she's gonna roll with me this weekend- so maybe having a Pivot will help open sets, haha.

  5. #5
    Achilies's Avatar
    Achilies is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,481, Level: 22
    Level completed: 81%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    204
    Points
    1,481
    Level
    22
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    76

    Default Re: Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

    That would help, but I would seriously review Body Language stuff on here, in my experienced talking over your shoulder at someone comes off as low-confidence, rude, and just in bad taste. Just change up you body language and approach the straight on with no barrier, it will subconsciously unlock them a bit for you.

  6. #6
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 10,566, Level: 68
    Level completed: 29%, Points required for next Level: 284
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    903
    Points
    10,566
    Level
    68
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    473

    Default Re: Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

    I'm gonna have to echo Achilies and The Red Baron - just from that much info it sounds like it IS the body language (I had a buddy who kept blowing out because he was squinting his eyebrows in a pained-AFC way). But don't get discouraged! I haven't sarged in a while and have been blowing out of like 75% of my sets this week.

    Also I'd suggest thinking twice about making friends with people you don't have anything (but venue) in common with. I'm not saying you should have them on your speed dial to help you handle a crisis or move your furniture, but being acquainted with even five different people at one bar makes it incredibly easy to social-butterfly, make introductions and work the entire room. social proof is a HUGE turn on for women and is well worth the five minutes it takes out of your sarging each night to acquaint yourself with a few new friends at your favorite bars.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  7. #7
    DJThuht is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 67, Level: 1
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 33
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    8
    Points
    67
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

    Alright, I'll try experimenting with the body language. I honestly never even thought about it until I started reading about this stuff like 2 weeks ago. I don't want to appear threatening and up in someone's space by facing them, but I can see how over the shoulder might seem rude and beta.

    I've had decent luck by simply turning to the (lone) girl next to me at the bar while waiting for a drink and saying "Psh, takes forever to get some attention, huh?" First time I did that, I didn't even mean to open, but she started sending IOIs and so I've repeated that tactic a few times. Haven't been shut out yet. Maybe because I'm already IN the space and I'm not approaching to actually talk to her.

    Yeah, that's not a bad idea to have a few people I can bounce between, I suppose- it's just that when I roll with friends, they always wonder where I'm off to when I go try to meet new people. You're right about it not taking that much time, though.

  8. #8
    qdown is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 242, Level: 4
    Level completed: 84%, Points required for next Level: 8
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    30
    Points
    242
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    17

    Default Re: Am I scaring people off, or just striking out?

    ""I don't know- why are you asking me?" So I say "Ah, we just wanted a girl's opinion. Never mind." Why did you back out so easily? I know i wasnt there but when she says "I dont know-why are you asking me" you have to push yourself to hang in there because thats usually a Bitch Shield test. Instead of saying something vague like "I just wanted a womans opinion" you should have zoned straight in on her (or them) and said something like "well...would you believe me if I told you that you (or you girls) look like the type of ladies that would have a valid opinion on this issue". Or you could straight out say(with a confused but smiling expression")...why wouldnt I ask some women who seems like they have common sense beyond just knowing what drink to order next" or something like that... they can be critiqed. just dont give up and say never mind, hang in there because alot of times they are testing you.


Similar Threads

  1. Nice guy who people don't take seriously
    By Laws0n in forum General Questions
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 07-11-2012, 02:40 PM
  2. how do i meet new people
    By Dr. Spargenator in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 04-18-2012, 03:39 PM
  3. Something about me puts people off
    By somethingaweful in forum General Questions
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 04-15-2012, 03:46 PM
  4. Whats up people - just out of a two year relationship.
    By spiderdejon in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 09-10-2011, 03:40 PM
  5. Striking out with Closes
    By Malachai in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 07-20-2010, 05:03 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com