So when I go looking for ladies I usually go out by myself, or with female friends. I never understood why dudes felt the need to bring more dudes out to hit on the women they could be hitting on. Anyway on the rare occasions I do go out with other guys there usually newbies, that know nothing about Game, and are amazed at my bravery to go up and talk to hot women. (Like this is some major feat. lol) When I’m finished usually collecting a couple of numbers I’ll go back to the guy table and the conversation will go something like this.
Newbie: “Whoa dude that girl was hot, did you really get her number?”
Me: “Yeah, she seemed pretty cool.”
Newbie: “What did you say to her, they made her so into you?”
Me: “Umm… I don’t know.”
Newbie: “Man, I wish I could do something like that.”
Me: “You can! Go up and talk to [point finger to random hot girl] her!”
Newbie: “Nah bro, I wouldn’t even know what to say to her”
The poor guy probably believes that, but any basic PUA knows the real reason isn’t the opener.
OPENING is the most OVERATED part of game hands down! It’s ridiculous to see how many people idolize the pickup lines. Or even worse! The aspiring PUA that spends several hours each day reading multiple e-books on pickup lines.
They get suckered into these lame books by clicking on stupid links like “How to Get Her into Bed by just Whispering this Simple Opener” Argh, it disgusting! The people that write that crap should hang themselves.
For those poor chumps that are just getting started in the Game, or maybe even those who have been in the Game for a long time, but still struggle on openers, allow me to provide you with some clarity. If you’re saying “I don’t know what to say to her” what you’re really saying is.
A) I have Approach Anxiety, and can only rationalize this fear as “not knowing what to say."
B) I haven’t learned how to have a basic conversation with an attractive female.
Let’s examine this for a second shall we. You have been searching all week for the greatest opener of all time, and you found it! I mean it’s like the pickup gods came down from the heavens and handed you the world’s greatest pick up line chiseled onto a stone tablet. You cannot wait to try this baby out!
So you get to the club, look towards the bar, and see two smoking hot blondes nursing their vodka tonics. This is it, the moment of truth let’s see what happens.
*Inner- monologue* “Whoa, those girls are hot. Should I go up and talk to them? They look like there in a serious conversation. I don’t know, I think that pickup line may not work in this situation. I’m sure if I use that pickup line I’ll just look like an idiot and get blown out. Damn! I knew I should’ve just paid that thirty dollars and bought the One Hundred Pickup Lines That Instantly Turn Her On e-book. Well… I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call this night a wash, I’m mainly here just to hang out with my friends anyway. Tomorrow I’m gonna buy that e-book, and then I will know exactly what to say!”
Raise your hand if you see the problem in this scenario? I’ll give you hint, it ain’t the opener! (It almost never is.) It’s approach anxiety which has unfortunately reared its ugly head in the form of needing more information.
“Don’t worry poor fragile ego, because once I learn THIS, I’ll be able to do THAT.”
Wow! Well isn’t that a conveniently easy way to pussy out of talking to girls. I am amazed to see just how many people believe that they’re struggling with openers, when in reality they’re struggling with approach anxiety. Know the difference!
Aspiring PUA: “Excuse me ladies I don’t mean to bother you, but I just had to tell you [Insert magic pickup line of greatness here]”
Hot Blondes: “HAHAHAHA!!! That’s so funny!”
Aspiring PUA: “Yeah… so umm … where are you guys from?”
Hot Blondes: “San Diego.”
Aspiring PUA: “Cool! ... so umm … What do you guys do?”
Hot Blondes: “Where students at San Diego State”
Aspiring PUA: “Awesome! … so umm … you guys friends?”
Hot Blondes: “Yep.”
Aspiring PUA: “Interesting!... so umm ..”
Hot Blondes: “We actually got to go find our boyfriends, but it was nice talking to you! Bye!”
Alright gentlemen, who wants to take a wild guess what the problem was here. Again it ain’t the opener! If you said poor conversation skills Ding! Ding! Ding! You win one hundred fictitious points!
One of the biggest misconceptions about openers is the first few words are the most important. FALSE! A lot of times when you’re in night clubs and bars women don’t even here your first few words. Instead they judge you by your non-verbals. (I’ll go into this in another post). The fact is it’s way more important to focus on basic conversation skills, rather then what your introductions is going to be. Look at the conversation as a whole; don’t just idealize the first few words.
*inner monologue* “But how do I begin a conversation with a women I know nothing about?”
I may give my personal take on filling the gap between you’re opening line and flowing conversation, in another post (there is also plenty of good articles on transitioning) but for now the best advice I can give you is BE IN THE MOMENT. Stop thinking about what your pickup lines gonna be, and what the line after your pickup lines gonna be. That is weak, low value, needy, BS!
Remember you’re the boss here! And you’re looking for the right employees. Is she cool enough to hang out with you? Does she get it? Or is she just simply being awkward and boring. What kind of girl are you looking for? Yes, I know a girl who will have sex with you, but I challenge you go beyond that. Think about the qualities you are looking for in a girl, and constantly be looking for these qualities in every girl you meet. This is what will force you to be in the moment, and will inevitably lead to your success.
So my aspiring PUA friends I urge you to put down that e-book (metaphorically speaking), go out, and get in the game! I promise you the best way to learn this stuff is Ready, Fire, Aim! It’s about jumping into the deep end, then learning how to swim. And when you see that cute girl you want to approach, don’t think about your opener, don’t think at all, just GO!
Comments? Questions? Complaints? Go ahead!