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  1. #1
    TheKid21 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do I approach A Shy Girl?

    Hi I have this problem, you see I can talk to girls fine and usually don't have a problem talking and approaching them... Unless they're shy. I hate it. I'm in High School and this Freshmen that is smoking hot. (hottest girl in school i'd say) is really kind of shy and doesn't talk much( only to her friends and hardly even to them. Sry if this isn't how people post things around here, but it is my first post. I just really want to know how to approach her and get her attention. It's really hard because I have NO classes with her and only see her in the morning. so I got to be quick and get that number before the bell rings and school actually starts.

    I have thought about getting a drink of water or something, and then bump into her say and say Like *ow or Ouch!* and initiate banter that way. haha but I think that is kind of a hard thing to do to do to a shy girl and might be off putting.

    anyone got any bright ideas how to approach her and initiate banter. I got like 20 minutes in the morning and that is all.


    No she isn't shy like don't talk at all. she talks but doesn't really branch out away from friends or talk very loud.

    I have a fear of just walking up to people and just saying something like hi. I hate showing interest first like that. I'm used to the one that's talked to first and this is really not my kind of game.

    I'm pretty sure she thinks i'm attractive since i have made eye contact several times with her in the hall and i'ts kind of like a stare and have made her laugh a couple times, but just over silly stuff.
    any help people of Puaforums?

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How do I approach A Shy Girl?

    If she's shy and not used to being approached, you may want to go somewhat direct

    I would say preferably find something about her to talk to her about, anything she wears indicate you'd have something in common?

    If you really cant find anything, then just go compliment her on something, her shoes, etc. Back in high school, especially with shyer girls who aren't used to getting approached this should work fine, you don't really have to neg her or anything

    I know it's not killer advice, but it should get you talking
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    afh81 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I approach A Shy Girl?

    Well for starters, she is shy. I don't think bumping into her is the best idea. Direct approach can work, but again, she is shy, and you may put her on the spot and make her uncomfortable. I think there are a couple of options;

    1. Ask her something like "hey, did you ever have X teacher for English, math, science, etc... " and because you said you've made her laugh before, it's not like you're a complete stranger, so you have some opening of approaching her.

    2. Same sort of idea, ask her is she is going to the pep rally (do those things still happen?) for the school sports team, or if she is going to that party happening this friday/saturday night, or invite to a party. "some friends and I are going to this party at (persons name) this weekend. You should come, it's going to be a lot of fun"

    I think those two would be good ways of at least having some conversations. Direct could also work though. It's high school, everyone in high school, for the most part, are scared of approach, so they beat around the bush when it comes to this.

    Anyway, just my two cents.

    OH ya. If the party opening works, when you actually get to the party, don't hang out with your "boys" all night, but also don't follow her around all night.

  4. #4
    Paul_T is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Lightbulb Re: How do I approach A Shy Girl?

    The thing with shy girls is, they are only shy when a) other people are listening, and b) when you are not making her comfortable.

    Therefore you can approach any way at all as long as it satisfies those two prerequisites.

    I sucked in high school, it wasn't until college that I got really good. But the girls I got in high school were when I was direct when noone was around and listening - in a deserted corridor, or in the kitchen at a party. That sort of thing.

    Then I'd go direct and say I thought she was really attractive, and then go straight into normal, really low pressure conversation about class or whatever. Hold strong eye contact and smile, but give her space to make her comfortable. Do most of the talking. Chuck in a few more compliments. Then invite her to something at the end of the conversation.

  5. #5
    fearlessdater is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I approach A Shy Girl?

    hey Man, there are great tips it could help you to date any shy woman.

    1-smile, very east step and the first one you should take.

    2-shake hands this is very simple as well

    3-your voice tonality is very important, keep it law and soft.

    4-Shy girls love to listen instead of talking, so be ready to tell her about some stories, the stories should be nice like your passions, your hobbies.

    5-be funny in an intelligent way for example show her some funny videos that you have in your phone, if you do not have them, show her some funny photos, for example take some funny photos from images.google.com and save it in your phone and show her later, believe me it will help.

    6-do not introduce her to your friends if you are in a party but instead it is better to have chat with her and both of you are alone and nobody with you.

    7-complementing her is great too, use this compliment
    " you look very quiet girl and i really admire girls who are quiet"

    8-ask her by using "what if" statement, for example

    -what if you imagine yourself right now that you have achieved all your dreams.

    9-eyes contact is great.

    10-I l love your outfit it goes well with your skin, this is super nice compliment.

    and finally say this

    11- look at me for a second "this is a very sexy line no shy girl can resist it"

    good luck your friend fearlessdater

  6. #6
    TheKid21 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I approach A Shy Girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by afh81 View Post
    Well for starters, she is shy. I don't think bumping into her is the best idea. Direct approach can work, but again, she is shy, and you may put her on the spot and make her uncomfortable. I think there are a couple of options;

    1. Ask her something like "hey, did you ever have X teacher for English, math, science, etc... " and because you said you've made her laugh before, it's not like you're a complete stranger, so you have some opening of approaching her.

    2. Same sort of idea, ask her is she is going to the pep rally (do those things still happen?) for the school sports team, or if she is going to that party happening this friday/saturday night, or invite to a party. "some friends and I are going to this party at (persons name) this weekend. You should come, it's going to be a lot of fun"

    I think those two would be good ways of at least having some conversations. Direct could also work though. It's high school, everyone in high school, for the most part, are scared of approach, so they beat around the bush when it comes to this.

    Anyway, just my two cents.

    OH ya. If the party opening works, when you actually get to the party, don't hang out with your "boys" all night, but also don't follow her around all night.
    Yeah, I'm going to try the pep rally thing or I might just start talking to her about volleyball, since that is what she plays. If I can just approach her and talk to her, I'm pretty sure that is all I need to do, since after that I'll be able to message her on FB or Text her, without looking like a creep haha. thanks for the suggestions, after all I'm a an upperclassmen and most freshmen would love to date an upperclassmen haha. I hope this works,


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