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  • 1 Post By Autismus

Thread: speaking your mind vs thought out everything

  1. #1
    Mack3 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default speaking your mind vs thought out everything

    I Must admit im still a newbe at picking up women and this question im about to ask may seem very basic and in fact can apply to all relations(not just involving women).However i do find it to be a very basic thing in my niche to meeting women.

    I just recently got over Approach Anxiety and im approaching women alot more often than i used to but it almost never goes anywhere.i feel like ive gotten over my fears just to find out all the things that made me scared to approach were true.

    I have worked on my inner game and i feel pretty good about myself whether or not i get a girl or not. I must give the pua community some cudos for that i guess, but at the end of the day i still want companionship and at least one good looking chick to like me.
    ********
    Enough with the personal stuff and down to the question that really matters to me. Most of the time after i try and get a girl im thinking "she doesn't really matter,theres always another one i can try ". I feel like alot of times im trying to figure out whats the right thing to say that will pull her in. Sometimes it works but the shield is still usually up and the convo eventually goes flat while im desperately trying to keep it alive.
    sometimes i feel like just going off of what i truely feel about these women whether they think im a jerk or not.not saying im gonna call them names but rather treating them how i see it.i mean as far as attitude and approach im tired of trying to be suave or casual so to speak.it doesnt seem to work for me.
    i guess in short im kind of saying id rather be an asshole and as bitter as this sounds,the way women have played me they deserve it.Am i wrong for taking this route or what?I really want peoples opinions on this.sorry if its a long thread but its bothering me.

  2. #2
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    Hopeful33 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: speaking your mind vs thought out everything

    it sounds like you have a grudge against women in general. that is never good. maybe really think about it and see why you think the woman are just mean. once you get that out of the way you will see they are just people.
    im on a different level

  3. #3
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    Default Re: speaking your mind vs thought out everything

    I understand your frustrations and you're right, sometimes what some women do just isn't right. Most of them though, don't intentionally mean it. This is where understanding their worlds really come in handy.

    If you could walk in a woman's shoes for a day its very different for a guy. I remember doing errands with one of my female friends and I noticed how EVERYONE treated her. Guys and girls. And these were complete strangers to her treating her this way. You could tell that they gave her so much value and she didn't even do anything other than look cute. It amazed me! Then having to deal with that everyday you feel like everyone just wants you for one thing. Then it becomes difficult to find genuine people anymore because of your looks. Because everyone treats you nice and guys constantly bombard you with cheesy lines to try and get your number. Again only because you look good and has nothing to do with who you are inside. This is what the average woman deals with daily. With an HB9 or HB10 just multiply that by 3. Then to finish it all off they still go out of their way to dress up and look good anyways and pretend to not like the attention lol. This is the paradox of women. I hope this helps you understand a little better and know that not all women are trying to screw with you.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
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    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: speaking your mind vs thought out everything

    I saw a facebook meme once. Essentially it said:

    b1tches [turn] nice guys [into] doucheb@gs [turn] nice girls [into] b1tches [turn] nice guys... ad infinitum.

    If you let girls who have treated you badly in the past turn you into a guy who will treat other girls badly, you may end up getting vengence upon a few b1tches, but you will also likely turn a few nice girls into b1tches who then turn a few nice guys into doucheb@gs.

    The rule of "always leave them better than you found them" exists to prevent this cycle of perpetually increasing the b1tchiness of women and the douchiness of men.

    Imagine a world where every girl has sky-high b1tch shields because most of the guys she encounters treat her with hostility simply because of the crimes of other members of her gender. It's inhumane as well as going against the spirit of PU. Girls who have been hurt (or just simply insulted) become a little bit harder to game from then on, while girls who are simply shown a fun and enjoyable time become easier targets.

    Anger towards women is counter to the pickup arts. You must learn to enjoy women, because you appreciate women, because you forgive women for whatever their sisters might have done in the past.

    Imagine if every women held us each accountable for every douche she's met. Don't hold every woman accountable for every b1tch.

    Always leave them better than you found them.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  5. #5
    Paul_T is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: speaking your mind vs thought out everything

    I just recently got over Approach Anxiety and im approaching women alot more often than i used to but it almost never goes anywhere.i feel like ive gotten over my fears just to find out all the things that made me scared to approach were true.
    It's great that you got over your anxiety, but you need to be chill and relax. The majority of your interactions will not go anywhere. Even as you get really good at this, you'll still get less than half the women you approach. Everyone does. Even Brad Pitt would get less than half the women he approaches. And that's fine. Not all women are available. Not all women are right for you. That's how it should be. The myth of being able to get every girl you want has been built up by the sales letters and marketing of every PUA company since about 2003. It's a male fantasy - which is why it persists. It's true that a fair few of the fears you have do turn out to be real. The point is, they might be real, but they aren't actually as bad as you imagined. I used to be really scared that girls would have a boyfriend. Turns out lots of the hottest girls do have boyfriends. But they still appreciate the flattery of a cool guy (Me!) coming and hitting on them, and I've never had a boyfriend start a fight, I usually get a handshake and a grin. The fears might be real, but they turn out to be nothing.


    I feel like alot of times im trying to figure out whats the right thing to say that will pull her in. Sometimes it works but the shield is still usually up and the convo eventually goes flat while im desperately trying to keep it alive.
    That's all pretty normal for learning this stuff. As you get better, you'll naturally say the right thing more, and care less when you don't. Either way, interactions will start going better for you. The things you need to work on are not running out of things to say (which is just learning to talk about any random sh1t, but being more interesting when you do. this then makes even the weather an interesting topic), and getting her to talk more, which will sort all the rest of the problems. Keep working and you'll get there.

    at the end of the day i still want companionship and at least one good looking chick to like me.
    sometimes i feel like just going off of what i truely feel about these women whether they think im a jerk or not.not saying im gonna call them names but rather treating them how i see it.i mean as far as attitude and approach im tired of trying to be suave or casual so to speak.
    It's great that you know what you want, this will give you a clear idea of when you are getting towards what you want. But you need to kick yourself in the ass with this negativity. Relax and enjoy talking to hot women. Learn to have fun in each conversation - whatever that means for you. If that means talking sh1t and making yourself laugh, if that means going direct and honest, if that means talking about travel and guitar because that's what you love, whatever will let you have fun. You don't need to be suave or casual. You need to be confident, fun, and sexaul. Try and learn to work less and enjoy it more.

    as bitter as this sounds,the way women have played me they deserve it.Am i wrong for taking this route or what?
    That does sound bitter. You are wrong for taking this route. You need to realize that a woman has every right to reject you. And when they do, it is not your fault, and it is not their fault either. It's no one's fault. You are tainting the entire female population with the actions of a very few women. Cut that sh1t out. So you got rejected a lot and you think you're a nice guy? you think you don't deserve this sh1t? Rejection is a necessary part of this. The best guys at this get rejected more than you can even imagine. The trick is to realize the rejection means nothing more than you weren't right for them. Nothing more. By working on yourself hard, you can make yourself right for a very large number of women but you aren't there yet. Relax and have fun, and you'll get all the girls you can ever handle. But you will always need to be meeting women, and therefore you will always be getting rejected. Deal with it. As for getting played, let it go man. Like Will Smith said, "hate in your heart will consume you too".

  6. #6
    Mack3 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: speaking your mind vs thought out everything

    you fellas are right.I was feeling bitter about women but Im gonna suck it up and get back out there.It just sucks to go out there and approach 15 girls and get rejected by 14 of them and 7 of them harsh rejections.smh.but giving up isnt gonna get me where i want so i might as well go through it now until i get good at it.thanks for the encouragement.


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