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Thread: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

  1. #1
    Philboss is offline PUA in Training
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    Question Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    Okay so I met this girl, I got her number, I did ioi everything was good, we hold hands. But I don't know how the heck, she lost attraction.
    Before all that we hold hands, her friend ask me if I liked her..
    I was so confident and I said "I'll be honest with you I like her "
    I was sitting beside her and after I answer the question her friend ask me I touch her leg with my hand(we were sitting, and I was beside her)
    after that we walked holding hands..
    and Hug at the end..
    that same day I text her at night, well to set up a date
    I said the following thing (I open up with flirty kind of a joke about her phone contacts)
    Me: "So does my name have a heart beside it already "?
    She: "haha, phil you know we'r not dating, right?
    Me: "I know, I wasn't serious about what I said just a joke"
    She: "haha,okay good lol"
    (By now I knew things were going that well )
    (I waited a few minutes and text her)
    Me: "Hey, I'll be going to the mall this Saturday, lets hang out down there, I can't promise anything but a nice ice cream "
    She: "I'm busy, I can't"
    (I waited a few minutes)
    Me:"Ah, okay another time then, guess you don't like fun"
    She: "Phil, I don't like you the same you do, that why I didn't said it when you said it"
    (What I did then was not to act needy but act that I was cool with that)
    Me: "Oh okay, you can still be my friend haha"
    She: "lol Okay"
    Me: "bffl haha"
    She: "lol"

    since then we haven't text again and all this happen yesterday.

    I'm friends with her best friend and I'm really good friend with her best friend boyfriend.

    I mean we still talk and said Hi to each other.
    I think I figured out what I did wrong, It was not talking to her with much confident and maybe saying that I liked her. you see I'm getting better in keeping the conversation flowing. but I still don't really know why after hugging to say bye, for 3 day, after holding hands, and after IOI her a bit.
    She acted/reply that way?

    I want to regain attraction, I've acted more confident when she is around, I dress nicely and wear cologne and she knows that, I have been really social too.

    Okay now my PLAN.
    1) I think I should neg her
    if someone could give me some examples according to what's happening between me and her, it will be really helpful, thank. (I think I should neg her and kinda make fun the guys she talk to like something like this "You two guys should date, I mean look at him, he's so depress and shy.")

    2) Make her jealous, I've done that to her before when I was talking to this other girl and end up hugging.
    After that she came to me asking for a hug and wanted to talk to me. (maybe that will work again)

    3)Act a little more busy and not give her to much of me.

    Please share with me anything I can do to regain attraction with her.

    Thanks to everyone for the help.

  2. #2
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    You're in the friendzone - read this

    A few things to keep in mind:
    - You said you gave her IOIs... did she earn them through compliance and qualifying? or did you give them to create reaction? The former is dhv while the latter is dlv
    - When you kino'd her, did she seem comfortable with your touch? If she did, this isn't good. She should feel excited (which will look more like smiling, energy-charged discomfort in her body language and facial expression). If she feels excited - you're in. If she feels uncomfortable - you can maybe still save it. If she feels comfortable with her touch - you're her teddy bear and it's time to Neg her to get her out of that comfort zone and into attraction.

    Go with triggering jealousy. Don't try to Neg your way out - it's too late in the game for negs to make a big difference - instead find flaws with her here and there throughout the longer duration of your interactions from here on. Don't try to build attraction by disqualifying her - she already knows you're into her, and she won't fall for it. Trigger jealousy in her and your preselection value will rise.

    Good luck bro!
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
    Ironsal is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    I so hate friend zone, it's kinda hard to get off there except if you really know what you doing, read the above post and follow the guide

  4. #4
    cheebamaster is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    She: "haha, phil you know we'r not dating, right?

    This is where you screwed up and qualified yourself to her. Always keep the ball in your field and YOU decide the interaction even if it's a shit test.

    A better response would have been "dating? hah, you're are way too high maintenance for my tastes" or "no we would never date, you're too much of a "nice" girl for me"

    Always demonstrate higher social value PERIOD

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    Quote Originally Posted by Philboss View Post
    I think I figured out what I did wrong, It was not talking to her with much confident and maybe saying that I liked her.

    I want to regain attraction, I've acted more confident when she is around, I dress nicely and wear cologne and she knows that, I have been really social too.
    Saying you like her is not a major problem, saying anything at all without confidence is. You can neg, make her jealous, be distant, none of it will change her mind about your confidence and will actually amplify the fact you like her pushing her away further. The best thing you can do is just move on and start dating other girls, not to make her jealous but because you want to and you want to improve. I also agree with Cheebamaster that you should always have a come back for the 'were not dating' line by disqualifying it and negging it.

  6. #6
    flyer1's Avatar
    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    At this point it might be to late but like WhiteDragon said just move on and date other women because this will build up your self-confidence, and whatever you do don't tell the woman that you like her just keep them guessing. A similar situation happened to me a few months back and I ended up in the friendzone yet I knew better. I was trying out a new technique and misread some signals from the woman which now thinking about it made me seem like a AFC. The only thing I could was immediately start the Triangle technique of making her jealous and all that stuff but it is a slow process to get them to come back around. So I started dating other women and learned from my mistake and tweeked the new technique to where the woman is coming back but like I said it is a slow process and it still does not guarantee success.

  7. #7
    Siedways is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    Unfortunately, looks like this one's pretty much over man. Move on, don't chase. Its not fucking return of the jedi where you need to go back and make every girl like you again now.

  8. #8
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    Quote Originally Posted by Siedways View Post
    Its not farking return of the jedi where you need to go back and make every girl like you again now.
    Hahaha.............. .................... ...........

  9. #9
    LearningRicky is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    Well I'm not some master PUA here, But in my experiences, Getting a girl to believe you're over her and drop the amount of attention you give her + disqualify her gets you right back on top. She will be aiming to get back that friendship at the very least and start to wonder what's wrong with her, DO NOT GIVE A REASON FOR YOUR LOSS OF INTEREST. Ignore her if she starts to get too talky don't land back in the zone.

    When she offers to meet up treat is as a regular girl whom you have had no previous connections with but of course you'll have a great advantage because you know her, what she wants and likes. You can easily use it to your advantage to win the game.

  10. #10
    saguviper is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lost Of Attraction With Girl

    I am new to this PUA thing, but I am really good at reading into conversations and such, and this is where you put yourself into the friend zone

    Quote Originally Posted by Philboss View Post
    Me: "Oh okay, you can still be my friend haha"
    She: "lol Okay"
    Me: "bffl haha"
    She: "lol"
    .
    Saying BFFL put you where you are at now. The true question: Is this girl your oneitis? If she is, there might be ways to get her back, but it will take time. You might check out threads on how to get your ex-gf back, that could help.

    I agree with the others, move on to help rebuild your self-confidence. Give it some time.


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