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Thread: RB - disqualifier guide

  1. #1
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default RB - disqualifier guide

    *
    OK, this is set up to be a comprehensive post about disqualifiers. *This is a pretty important and broad reaching topic that is brought up frequently
    *
    What I will cover:
    *Overview and examples
    *When to use them and what they do
    *Why they work
    *
    Overview –
    *
    OK, a disqualifier is any statement you make where you as the PUA are disqualifying the girl as a potential mate.
    *
    *“You’re so cool you’re like a sister to me” (IE, you put them in friend zone)
    *“I bet we’d get along great, too bad I’m in to (blonde’s, brunettes, adventurous girls, nerdy girls, whatever she is not).
    *(after she does something interesting ) “That’s it, we’re getting a divorce, I want my CDs back”
    *“Too bad we’d never work out because of X”
    *
    Another related piece that I really like is accusing them of hitting on you. *You accuse them of the things they assume you are trying to do. *Same effect more or less, but more fun.
    *
    *“All you girls want is one thing”
    *“You’re just trying to get in to my pants”
    *“I am not going home with you tonight”
    *Stop undressing me with your eyes”
    *
    When to use them and what they do
    *
    Disqualifiers are a pretty general tool. *They don’t really hurt a girls ego, so use them as frequently as you would like.
    *
    What they do – they separate you from the rest of the people hitting on a girl. *They are designed to make the girl wonder why you aren’t hitting on her.
    *
    They are especially important if you feel a girl is starting to put you in friend zone. *If you want to get out of it you can’t fight your way out of it, you can trap her in to pursuing you instead.

    They are also important with girls who are used to getting hit on a lot, and on girls who are super flirty and really want the attention. *That’s where they are the most powerful. *Flirty girls feed off of this attention, they need it - you throw a few disqualifiers and you will begin to confuse them and make them want your attention back.
    *
    Why they work -
    There are 2 strong ways they work, First and most importantly:
    *
    In general, they work by making a girl wonder why you don’t want her, and her trying to change that (that is, she will make moves she thinks will make you want her).
    *
    Take a generic example – super flirty girl, friendly with you, you’re in to her, then she’ll go flirt with the next guy right in your face. *AFC is wondering, wtf I thought she wanted me?
    *
    This girl is out searching for validation. *They flirt and guys willingly give it to them. *They don’t have to sleep with a guy to get the attention, so all they do is flirt, enjoy it, and move on.
    *
    So you throw some disqualifiers, “Oh that’s so cute too bad you’re not my type”. *You give her some mixed signals, maybe a little eye contact, maybe you eat up some flirting and reject then disqualify other flirting. *Thing is, you need to stay in control.

    Something triggers in flirty girl’s head, whether consciously or subconsciously she’s wondering to herself “Hey, everybody wants me, why isn’t he interested in me? *Am I not good enough? *Is he really that cool?” *Girls wonder, maybe you’ve got other options that makes you high value, maybe they aren’t actually pretty enough, maybe they didn’t try hard enough.
    *The point is, whatever goes on in their head, it raises your value compared to the target.
    *Like I said, flirty girl wants validation, right? *So, she doesn’t know what’s going on, but her next move is to fix it. *If she can “win you over”, she gets her validation. *So she’ll come back, she’ll flirt harder. *Now, you’re her target, and you’ve played the game perfectly.
    *Just be aware, don’t give in immediately, you’ve now started a game of cat and mouse, you must continue to bait her along.
    *
    Second
    It doesn’t always work so powerfully, sometimes you’ve just opened a set and the girl is showing some flirting. *Who knows if she’s testing you or not. *Throw out a disqualifier
    *In this situation it is a subtle way to break down their “Bitch Shield” or whatever you want to call it.
    *
    These girls are used to guys approaching them. *You are a guy, and you just approached them. *So they assume you’re just after one thing. *You seem nice, friendly, then wait – did he just say we’d never work out? *I thought he was hitting on me?
    *
    In this situation, they help get over the girl’s natural defenses. *You tell them you’re not hitting on them. *Accusing them of hitting on you works very well here. *You will confuse her. *Note – mixed signals are great. *They kinda bombard her defenses, you put them down and push forward, make her wonder what you really want. *That curiosity will make her think about you, a lot, and positively.
    *
    The intended effect, whether strong or subtle is always present.
    *
    Like I said above, disqualifiers are always good. *They’re not directly insulting, they just set you apart.
    *
    And they’re really simple to add, all you need is the “Too bad we’d never work out because of X”, and something like “Stop trying to get in to my pants already”
    *
    All you really need is one, throw one in your conversation here and there. *You don’t need to use a lot in any given conversation, and they’re pretty adaptable once you find out how to insert them.

    Good luck, and train well - RB
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    ** apologies on the formatting, sometimes my phone does that, oh well
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    Great post RB! This was one of my sticking points - never used many DSQ in my game, but I get it now!
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  4. #4
    Tanktop is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    Great post. Im like a sponge reading all this knowledge

  5. #5
    pReventiveiNcentive is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    Fantastic post RB!! Do you think you could do one explaining qualifiers a little better too?

    Thanks,
    PI

  6. #6
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    Well the principle of qualifying is that you're looking for certain traits and standards, it shows a girl you are selective and if you select her its a good thing, as opposed to you hitting on just any girl who will say yes

    But I'll be happy to write a more comprehensive guide, maybe later today, but more likely within a week, I'll post here to link it when I do
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #7
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    Great stuff! Def need to examine if i am doing this correctly. I think i do it already but a little self exam never hurt!

    QuickQ: Are negs and disqualifiers the same? I can see they are related but is a neg more specific to calling out her bad behaviors?

    EDIT: also i assume LJBF would disqualify or is that one better if u have known the girl for awhile and she looking like she might be ready to eject?

    And i feel u on the phone issues my friend :-( i feel u...
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  8. #8
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    No no, not at all the same

    The point of a disqualifier is to make her think you aren pursuing her and make her want to pursue you, to change the traditional roles

    The point of a neg is to make them feel insecure and lower their relative value. negs are very specific to be used on 9s and 10s that assume they are out of your league
    Ie - "I love your shoes! I bet they looked great when they were new!"
    Or "oh those nails are gorgeous - are they real?"

    Here with a neg you deliver what sounds like a complement but is actually an insult, it makes them insecure that you pointed out their flaws, because no guy ever does that. But you have to do it nicely, as above.

    Please note - a neg is different from generally teasing a girl, like prodding her and saying she's a dork, or being like "hey you just hit me, ow!" (if she bumps you). Or sarcastically responding to her "aww you're breaking my heart princess"

    Teasing is always good, it's meant to be playful and get them in a fun mood. Negs are different and serve a very specific purpose, to bring a girl down a notch, that's why I recommend steering away from them until you are pretty good with game, too many people get caugh up in them when other things are much more important
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  9. #9
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  10. #10
    Az007 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: RB - disqualifier guide

    disqualifiers and qualifiers work really well together. After the 'confusion' as RB mentioned above, when she wants your attention, oh look, hoops for her to jump through - qualifiers -


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