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Thread: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

  1. #1
    benjam60-2012 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    PUA has failed to work for me. No doubt, I've learned some stuff about women and have practiced so much, but I am so discouraged at this point. It's not even the problem of getting women to hangout with me, but to get them attracted to me. None have gotten attracted I am depressed because I want a girlfriend so bad!!! I used dhv, negs, compliance test- mystery's method, good conversation techniques but it's failed. I'm not a bad looking guy either.
    I'm looking for help! You guys are soo good at respond. I really just want to give up on women

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    Quote Originally Posted by benjam60-2012 View Post
    PUA has failed to work for me. No doubt, I've learned some stuff about women and have practiced so much, but I am so discouraged at this point. It's not even the problem of getting women to hangout with me, but to get them attracted to me. None have gotten attracted I am depressed because I want a girlfriend so bad!!! I used dhv, negs, compliance test- mystery's method, good conversation techniques but it's failed. I'm not a bad looking guy either.
    I'm looking for help! You guys are soo good at respond. I really just want to give up on women
    Lose the "Outcome Dependency" and you'll see INSTANT improvement.

    Ohhh..
    Also; don't try too hard... that just expresses neediness.

    Hmmmm, what else?? OHHH yeah,
    Forget about "conversations" in the very beginning...

    JUST FLIRT!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    Get it togethenr man!!! tmalonetn is right.

    You should be learning from every encounter until you find what works for you. Re-read your post and see what type of vibe it gives off...if you guessed desperate you are correct. Keep at it! And dont give up!
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  4. #4
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    Quote Originally Posted by benjam60-2012 View Post
    PUA has failed to work for me. No doubt, I've learned some stuff about women and have practiced so much, but I am so discouraged at this point.

    How long have you been at it? PUA isn't like stitches that pull things mostly together in an instant - it's like a splint on a broken bone, taking time and patientce to fully grow

    It's not even the problem of getting women to hangout with me, but to get them attracted to me.

    Attraction is more complex than just throwing DHV + Neg + Alpha Male... see below...

    None have gotten attracted I am depressed because I want a girlfriend so bad!!!

    Lose this ^ perspective. "Be desireless" -Tao of Steve.

    I used DHV, negs, compliance test- mystery's method, good conversation techniques but it's failed. I'm not a bad looking guy either.

    First of all, looks don't matter. Mystery looks like a praying mantis in a cowboy hat, Style looks like a badger, Sinn looks like a great white shark and these guys are the BEST - it's good that you have looks, but don't assume that appearence (even peacocking) will get you lays - peacocking will only get you as far as C2 at best.

    As for the elements of PUA: (DHV, Neg, Compliance - all the spells and tricks in MM) will only work if you do them at the RIGHT TIME in the RIGHT CONTEXT.

    CONTEXT:
    DHV and Attraction switches will DLV if you use the wrong one on the wrong girl - try a leader of men DHV on a femenist, try an ability to emote DHV on a "man-eater", try a caretaker of loved ones DHV on a "bad girl" - and all of these DHV's will be DLV's in those context.
    (Use Leader of men on a beta chick, use ability to emote on a girl who sees a brown horse in the Cube, use caretaker of loved ones on a woman who is over 26 and isn't fond of clubs)
    This is why Pandoras Box and cold reads exist

    TIMING:
    If you just DHV / Neg / Push Pull the whole time then it won't be dynamic and it won't stimulate her - I used to do that. Here are a few ideas (not the end-all be-all of game mapping, just a list of things that I feel deserve particular attention at particular stages)
    A1 - Just hook them, body rock, FTC, Takeaway
    A2 - DHV, Neg
    A3 - Compliance, Disqualify, Qualify
    C1 - Light Rapport, Strong Rapport, Deep Rapport
    C2 - More Comfort
    C3 - Delicate Comfort
    S1 - Push / Pull
    S2 - *Anti-LMR Techniques
    S3 - Quality Luvin
    (Kino and sexuality should be done appropriately as the set progresses)

    I'm looking for help! You guys are soo good at respond. I really just want to give up on women

    Examine your game plan. Are all the details in place? Have you been sarging at least several hours per week for about 6 months? Because that's how long it takes to break all of the AFC habits. This is how it was for me:
    Month 1: aa -> DLV (Reduced or Gone)
    Month 2: Inner Game is developing / Opening is smooth
    Month 3: Inner Game is solidifying / Comfort-building is good
    Month 4: Inner Game is tested when Late-game errors occur
    Month 5: Late game errors are pain-stakingly overcome
    Month 6: Inner Game is solid, viable game plan is intact / being consistently successful in absence of extreme conditions
    Month 7... Encounter Extreme conditions / re-examine game
    To paraphrase HP6HBP:

    Women are many, varied, ever-changing, and eternal. Seducing them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head with even higher b1tch sheilds and cleverer sh1t tests. You are executing tactics to seduce a women she is unfixed, adaptable, and cultured to foil your plans.
    Your game must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the woman you seek to seduce. These forums offer numerous testament of what you can expect from sh1t tests, obstacles, LMR, ASD and Buyers Remorse; as well as ways of overcoming them.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  5. #5
    secretaznman is offline Banned
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    Default Re: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    Quote Originally Posted by benjam60-2012 View Post
    None have gotten attracted I am depressed because I want a girlfriend so bad!!!
    This right here. Stop getting depressed and stop being so desperate. You are acting as if you NEED girls. Be happy with yourself first because if you aren't, you turn desperate and girls can smell desperation from a mile away.

  6. #6
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    I appreciate that you know a lot of routines and techniques... shows you have been trying to improve your OUTER game., which is a GREAT start for any AFC.

    But in your post, you don't really mention any INNER game. And many of us reading it can tell you have INNER game issues.

    I personally can see your inner Wuss when you blame the stuf fyou are learning. First you say you learned alot, but then you say it doesn't work. Don't blame the materials. All of us tried and tried and tried this stuff until we got it right. The process is different for all of us and TAKES TIME. It's NOT MAGIC. You must evaluate all the methods you learn.

    For ex... I am a naturally talkative, funny person. So I don't need much help with cocky funny or negging or anything related. My problem was knowing when NOT TO TALK. I really struggled at first with keeping things mysterious. Not jumping to soon into Comfort (which was NEVER a problem for me). So obviously, I needed to focus on certain things more.

    You ARE different than me I AM SURE. So evaluate your personality and see what info there is to help you out. If you feel you are not getting anywhere... START OVER from square one. Don't just regress or anything... go over the basics. Study them... then focus on what you specifically need ... go out and try it... repeat process. It takes time. And PLEASE... VALUE THE RESULTS. I am sure even using only OUTER GAME stuff there are women who are responding to you. Perhaps you want to much right now. Ex. Maybe women are giving you ioi's more but your not happy with small IOI's. See every small step as a victory and KEEP PROGRESSING.

    But the HUGE thing I think you need is INNER GAME. If you are NOT HAPPY with yourself, then why should a woman be? If you think you're a loser, your going to act that way. What women wants to be with a loser? NONE.

    Be absolutely convinced about 1 thing .... If you are not happy with yourself... if deep down you feel that you don't DESERVE A GREAT WOMAN, then you won't get one. Girls can see through routines. They know when you place a low value on yourself just by looking at you.

    BUT GIVING UP IS NOT THE ANSWER!

    Saru mo ki kara ochiru.
    Literally: Even monkeys fall from trees

    Japanese proverb
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  7. #7
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    Wow I need to cover a few things.

    First - you can't quit game Not saying don't do it, but game is not an off or on thing. It's not something you do or don't do. Game is something you learn and incorporate in to the ways you interact with women.

    Now I'm a big MM fan, but it's not the only school out there. My suggestion, read Juggler's texts, much different ways of eliciting values. Very interesting stuff.

    Second suggestion - Stop looking at this as a series of rules. MM is great stuff, but unfortunately pickup is not A, B, C. For guys like mystery it can be, but he's MASTERED just about all other aspects. For guys like you or me approaching 7s, 8s, 9s, and normal girls, there is no one roadmap.

    Third and most important suggestion - Follow Lockdown's advice, he's spot on correct.

    INNER GAME - you gotta be confident, you gotta be happy, you gotta own what you are doing.

    Relax about the technique, look at your body language. You're most likely betraying way too much insecurity. You can talk about anything you want if you have the confidence to pull it off. Without it, all the mystery method in the world won't get you a number.

    Stop worrying about the technique. Take a holistic approach to game. Look at you and how you can be more confident and comfortable with what you're working with. And keep reading, there are alot of other schools out there, maybe you need to find one that matches your style better. Here's my booklist if you're curious http://www.puaforums.com/recommended...-list-you.html
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  8. #8
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    It's soooo funny to me personally when I look at my own interactions & learning. One of the first PUA gurus I discovered was Jon Sinn. (He was a former Mystery Method student AND Instructor)

    I immediately recognized the value in his explanations.... And at this poont, I hadn't read "The Game" by Neil Strauss (AKA "Style") or even heard of "The Mystery Method".

    The only thing I knew was: The couple tips from Sinn WORKED. But because he admitted having disagreements with MM after a while (and HIS tips/insights were immediately successful) I had a pre-judgmental outlook on Mystery Method AND "The Game".

    Now I can look at it with a less cynical mind & learn a lot more useful info.

    However... I don't believe any one person/"guru" has it all 100% correct in EVERY situation. (I say that because there are billions of unique individuals in the world... so there's always potential for an "X-Factor")

    I think the advice being offered is this:
    Do the research & studying. Put in some effort....
    But, test as much as possible & see what works best according to YOUR personality.
    That's what maters more than anything:
    It's not WHAT you say... but rater, How you say it! (And that's dependant on your confidence & belief system.)

    Learn/dissect/adapt/apply.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  9. #9
    sinkalos's Avatar
    sinkalos is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: PUA is not working for me-about to quite help

    it's like sales, the more people you talk to the easier it is to talk to them. don't worry about end result. as you become more comfortable with the situation and more experienced it will come to you. one thing i noticed is you didn't mention using Push Pull, so make sure that's included. remember women don't just always want what they can't have but seem to ONLY want what they can't have. Don't give yourself away, don't be easy or pushy. try out some NLP to create arousal. (i don't entirely like the idea of NLP going beyond that, seems crazy but i have an ethics issue i'm working through) understand what makes them tick. if you can learn to arouse a woman she will be more easily attracted to you. Also... as we all know, attraction is not a choice. don't give women a choice as to if they are attracted to you just be attractive and they can't help it. so SMILE and chin up. remember to laugh kid around and have fun!


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