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  • 1 Post By whitedragon
  • 2 Post By BatMan

Thread: 'Did your friends tell you to say that to me?' Contingency.

  1. #1
    T4NK is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 'Did your friends tell you to say that to me?' Contingency.

    So I saw a meme which basically said 'Did you know that the Alphabet Song, is really Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?'

    It sounded like an interesting idea for an opener.

    Tried it out on a girl. I did lots of things wrong with the approach (not from the side really, too much head on. No disqualifier or time restriction).

    She said: 'Did your friends tell you to say that?'

    Clearly saw through it. I know that it is possible to overcome that, but was wondering if anyone's had a similar thing and got passed it? I can't remember what I said at the time but as I'm posting this now it clearly didn't work .

    Cheers .

    (I also used it in normal conversation with a female friend who already knew it - something else that would need a contingency - all you have to do in that case is ask them what they thought when they first realised.)

  2. #2
    serp777 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 'Did your friends tell you to say that to me?' Contingency.

    I cringed slightly as I read your post.

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 'Did your friends tell you to say that to me?' Contingency.

    Well you're not really saying anything ground breaking. 'Hey you know two childrens song are the same melody?' wow. They are not going to fall down in front of you. Just try approaching naturally and say hi as an opener and then lead off on something more situational like 'wow long island ice teas! Better watch you don't have too many of those!' followed by...'actually they look kinda good, mind if I join you for one? waitress!!'.

    The harder you try up front the more desperate you look. I usually try open fairly calmy to minimise liability and so I can gauge the girls reactions before plunging straight in. It also shows I am also a wary male experienced with women and not going to waste my time on gimmicks or women who dont respond. Now if you opened with 'Hi, my names ____ nice to meet you...having a good night?' and then you found out one of them was a singer or a school teacher you could then probably discuss the melodies of childrens songs but otherwise its frankly not that interesting. You are better off introducing yourself with absolute confidence and body language and then observing girls. First impressions count. Your first impression should be who you are and what you are and you display that through your introduction and body language.

    One of the most common mistakes PUA make is to treat every women the same. Certain triggers will affect most women but you have to calibrate to your target and group. Think of your conversations like weapons in a war. You use certain weapons for certain battlefields. But you need to know the battlefield first so I prefer to be confident in approach but laid back or easy going in what I say initially. That doesn't mean I won't ever use an opener but I dont used canned openers. I usually open with a friendly 'hi, I'm _____ having a good night? (wait for whatever their response is)... I can make your night better'. If they ask 'how' I have already judged their initial body language and dynamic and can formulate an appropriate response. If they are for example a group of drunk wild girls I might immediately say 'lets have a kiss!' or 'grab their hand, twirl them around and say 'lets dance', if they are shy and conservative I might say 'well lets have a cheers to happy friday!! we all happy?!' or 'well your all wearing dresses tonight, I see, so lets cheers to beautiful dresses!!!' (flattering them) or say some quick philosphical but funny thing like 'well Im going to quote abraham lincoln (they start thinking Im serious)....this is what he said...ahem... in bill and teds excellent adventure...PARTY ON DUDE!' whatever it is. I do make their night better by at least raising their enthusiasm and being outwardly happy and positive, throwing a few negs around if they are cheeky, being more intellectual if they are conservative etc etc. If they are not responsive at all I walk straight away and all they will remember me by is my name and an offer to make their night better rather than a silly canned opener. Their loss boring tarts. calibration. A situational opener might be observing your target has a large handbag - overly large - so you might use that 'whoa! whose bag? Are you going camping with this? ' followed by ' will you buy me a drink if I can guess three things in your handbag?'. If they accept it's pretty easy to get three things. They will almost certainly have a mirror, tissues and lipstick.

    I do go through a few 'interview questions' if the conversation is not flowing in abstract ways but always lead off them. I ask them with complete confidence because actually I truly want to know 'where are you from? what do you do? Have you been anywhere else good tonight? Have you got a boyfriend?' I ask all that sh1t 1) because I need to know to calibrate and 2) because all of that gives me ammunition later when I really start opening up 'Oh well we have a nurse over here...she might be doing something more than long island ice teas if she's friends with the pharmacists ' or 'a girl from Ireland and a girl from Guatemala - what is this, the olympics? a multicultural festival? Wheres the Samosas!!', 'your boyfriends in Afghanistan? Ah well its your lucky day, you can secretly celebrate with me (chink) while your BF is swapping porno mags with his platoon buddies '

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 'Did your friends tell you to say that to me?' Contingency.

    Whitedragon is right. You shouldn't really think past the opener and learn to calibrate. And openers don't have to be clever. However I'm going to humor your opener because I think you can work with it somehow.

    My guess it would work 10x better if you are looking at your phone, look up at her, and say that. Like you JUST learned it when walking by her. Follow it up with "I love learning useless shit with my smartphone. People don't appreciate the power of instant information in their hand. What kind of phone you have?...."

    That's just off the top of my head. But I know EVERYONE likes to talk about their phones. There's a study that showed people spend more time picking out the right smartphone than a new car. Hey! Another useless fact! Cool!

    I like the chicken or the egg. Which came first? The egg duh. In Asia there is a red jungle fowl who mated with a grey jungle fowl which made the first chicken egg after crossbreeding. True.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 'Did your friends tell you to say that to me?' Contingency.

    I don't mind the opener itself, but keep in mind it's just an opener

    Saturday night I was called out by some girls, something like "so what you two just go around asking girls opinions on makeup?"
    And I owned it, I was like well in truth I just wanted to come say hi and I wasn't sure how. I actually asked the girls what they reccomended and how they thought we did, they were super friendly about it. That evolved in to a whole discussion on how girls are getting constantly approached and how we try to evolve to their rules and defenses.
    Made really good friends they ended up re-opening me later while I was with some other friends

    I'm not afraid to tell them my opener was an excuse, I have several times, what's important is how confident you are about it
    I'm out to be social
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval




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