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Thread: RB - Qualifying Guide

  1. #1
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Smile RB - Qualifying Guide

    By request I am going to present the basics of Qualification

    This is much different than disqualification (aka using false disqualifiers - discussed here http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ier-guide.html)

    The goal of qualification is to show the girl that you are selective and give her a chance to show that she has what you’re looking for. This is the same idea as screening a girl.

    Let’s talk about the concept

    Imagine you’re out at a bar and you see a girl kissing two other guys and then coming up and showing interest in you. What goes through your head? Clearly, she’s out just looking for attention. Hopefully you’re not desperate enough or foolish enough to go for her.

    Let’s turn it around because it kind of works the same. Girls get hit on all the time, and as far as they know, we are out there just looking for any girl. If you go up to a girl and start hitting on her because she’s pretty, she’s done nothing to earn it. She’s generally not going to be interested in you because you have not shown that you are selective and that something about her has won you over. Right now, you’re that girl who’s willing to make out with anybody. That is, she needs to think that your interest in her is not just because she’s a pretty face at a bar. (Note – this is also why we don’t open with comments on their looks)

    Qualification is something you do in the middle of the pickup. Not at the beginning. At the beginning, you need to hook the conversation so they want to talk to you and you need to establish your value. So you’re hooked in, you demonstrate your value in certain ways to make them somewhat interested in you. Now it’s time to qualify them.

    What qualification is

    As stated above, when you qualify you are seeing if a girl meets your standards. Personally, I like educated, attractive, and adventurous – adventurous is the easiest to qualify for. At this point I may ask something like:
    ​ “So what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?”
    ​or similarly “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done”.
    A lot of authors have more indepth ways to elicit these like –
    ​“Say you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you be?”
    Or you can be somewhat more direct – you can say,
    Or for other valued -
    ​“I like a girl who really values family, are you close with yours?”
    ​Or “I think you can learn a lot about someone by how they feel/treat animals, whats your favorite animal? Are you close with nature? Do you have pets?” etc…

    What you need to do is to determine 2 or 3 key traits that are important to you. When you are qualifying you are screening her to see if she meets your characteristics.

    Note ** - If you have established value and she is interested in you, she will work to fit your standards. This is important. She will take cues and try to answer your questions positively.

    Let her elaborate her answers. Try to find out what type of a person she is. Elicit emotions, develop this discussion into her. This is the good place to be asking questions, these are not dry interview questions, you are now screening her and she wants to see that you’re interested in what she has to say here.

    Now also very important, limit your big ioi’s until after she has met your qualifications!

    When she shows me yes, she does have a sense of adventure, you can show direct interest, “Oh that’s really cool I think we might actually get along after all!”

    What it does – the psychology

    Us men have a predisposition to assume that the time to show our interest in a girl is after we have established our value. NO!

    If you show interest in a girl before she has earned it it is artificial, and she knows it.

    Do not show significant interest until she has done something to earn it. Put yourself in her shoes again – attractive girls get approached and hit on all the time. You hit on her randomly, its simply not organic. You could be hitting on any girl there and just trying to show you’re worthy (not the right mindset anyway).

    If a girl has shown she meets your qualifications, she has now shown value to you. Now you can show IOIs because she has earned them, and she will understand she is beginning to win you over. This is real to her, now when you ask for her number, it’s not because she’s a cute face in the bar, it’s because she’s a cool girl who you want to get to know better.

    Figure out what you want to select for, screen her, qualify her, give her a chance to meet your qualifications, pass your tests and earn your interest.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  2. #2
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    Interesting... i see that my weakness is organization. I do negs, disqualifying and qualifying without even knowing it. I know its better to be natural, but i also have to be organized because this will add to my effectiveness.

    Cool post! I think this will make me hunker down and organize my thoughts/ideas/techniques. I have been doing well so maybe somewhere along the line i got lazy about organizing stuff. Thanks (as always) RB!
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  3. #3
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    i love the example in the beginning, ive never thought of it like that and ill admit that i have and remain to constantly make the mistake of showing interest in the girl get go. i understand the concept of it, but i dont get how the direct approach can ever work by that theory, considering that they know your interested as soon as you open. i will say though that by using qualification better ill get classier women rather than the completely random one that ive been getting. great post though, im definately going to try to use qualification more effectively
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    Interesting. I used to confuse qualification with compliance testing when I was a newbe

  5. #5
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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    Quote Originally Posted by daltonbrayall View Post
    i love the example in the beginning, ive never thought of it like that and ill admit that i have and remain to constantly make the mistake of showing interest in the girl get go. i understand the concept of it, but i dont get how the direct approach can ever work by that theory, considering that they know your interested as soon as you open. i will say though that by using qualification better ill get classier women rather than the completely random one that ive been getting. great post though, im definately going to try to use qualification more effectively
    the reason direct approach works is because she now has the mystery of why you chose her, (this works especially well on girls who aren't as good looking/don't think they are as good looking as they realy are) not to mention that Direct Game is extremely alpha if you can do it and maintain your frame

  6. #6
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    yeah that makes sense, i game directly and indirectly about as much, but i have more success with the Indirect Approach, probably because i never understood why it worked and i never knew how to back it, but thanks a lot meteora, i appreciate it
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  7. #7
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    Quote Originally Posted by LockDown View Post
    Interesting... i see that my weakness is organization. I do negs, disqualifying and qualifying without even knowing it. I know its better to be natural, but i also have to be organized because this will add to my effectiveness.

    Cool post! I think this will make me hunker down and organize my thoughts/ideas/techniques. I have been doing well so maybe somewhere along the line i got lazy about organizing stuff. Thanks (as always) RB!
    Qualification is something we do naturally when we are not needy and we know our value, but since we are needy at times, we need to remember not to omit qualification, the whole game is about showing we are not needy!
    If it frightens you, Do It!

  8. #8
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    Good follow ups everyone - we had some discussions this weekend and my friend who loves Direct Game made some important points which may clarify too

    In direct game you need to remember you are the buyer, not the seller. Yes you show interest and confidence, but you're not selling your value. You're the shit, you know it, you walk in like you're a 10 already. When you introduce the sale is not complete, you're just saying you're curious and seeing if she merits that curiosit through the discussion

    That said, this is less important in direct game, much more applicable to Indirect Game

    I use a big mix of games, but I walk in to socialize. I'm not hiding my interest but not trying to sell myself either, I'm just going in to talk to interesting people.
    Someone made a flattering observation watching me game yesterday - he said I have an aura when I approach that I really don't give a shit until a girl gives me a reason to
    That works with direct game, you go in for whatever, but I'm still waiting to see if they are worth continuing a conversation with, a girl still needs to pass my tests otherwise I get bored and move on to the next ones. There are hundreds of girls out in any area in a night, if they aren't valuable there are others I would much rather talk to
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  9. #9
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    I though of something else which should have been discussed here

    I use the "point system" pretty frequently. It's a simple way to qualify girls and show they have to earn your value. For example, even before you've shown an IOD you can say like "that's really cute, you just earned 2 points". Or for stupid stuff, "ok you just lost 3 points", and you can tease and elaborate

    It's simple and shows a girl you're looking for someone to impress you

    It's arbitrary to some extent, use them how you want, it's more used as a tease throughout.

    KnightTurner has a post on the 3 strikes rule which does the same thing with qualifying, very good method and explanations here, I reccomend you check it out
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...html#post63801
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  10. #10
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - Qualifying Guide

    Nice! Its like in forum posting... "you get a +1 for that statement!"
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde



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