By request I am going to present the basics of Qualification
This is much different than disqualification (aka using false disqualifiers - discussed here http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ier-guide.html)
The goal of qualification is to show the girl that you are selective and give her a chance to show that she has what you’re looking for. This is the same idea as screening a girl.
Let’s talk about the concept
Imagine you’re out at a bar and you see a girl kissing two other guys and then coming up and showing interest in you. What goes through your head? Clearly, she’s out just looking for attention. Hopefully you’re not desperate enough or foolish enough to go for her.
Let’s turn it around because it kind of works the same. Girls get hit on all the time, and as far as they know, we are out there just looking for any girl. If you go up to a girl and start hitting on her because she’s pretty, she’s done nothing to earn it. She’s generally not going to be interested in you because you have not shown that you are selective and that something about her has won you over. Right now, you’re that girl who’s willing to make out with anybody. That is, she needs to think that your interest in her is not just because she’s a pretty face at a bar. (Note – this is also why we don’t open with comments on their looks)
Qualification is something you do in the middle of the pickup. Not at the beginning. At the beginning, you need to hook the conversation so they want to talk to you and you need to establish your value. So you’re hooked in, you demonstrate your value in certain ways to make them somewhat interested in you. Now it’s time to qualify them.
What qualification is
As stated above, when you qualify you are seeing if a girl meets your standards. Personally, I like educated, attractive, and adventurous – adventurous is the easiest to qualify for. At this point I may ask something like:
“So what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?”
or similarly “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done”.
A lot of authors have more indepth ways to elicit these like –
“Say you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you be?”
Or you can be somewhat more direct – you can say,
Or for other valued -
“I like a girl who really values family, are you close with yours?”
Or “I think you can learn a lot about someone by how they feel/treat animals, whats your favorite animal? Are you close with nature? Do you have pets?” etc…
What you need to do is to determine 2 or 3 key traits that are important to you. When you are qualifying you are screening her to see if she meets your characteristics.
Note ** - If you have established value and she is interested in you, she will work to fit your standards. This is important. She will take cues and try to answer your questions positively.
Let her elaborate her answers. Try to find out what type of a person she is. Elicit emotions, develop this discussion into her. This is the good place to be asking questions, these are not dry interview questions, you are now screening her and she wants to see that you’re interested in what she has to say here.
Now also very important, limit your big ioi’s until after she has met your qualifications!
When she shows me yes, she does have a sense of adventure, you can show direct interest, “Oh that’s really cool I think we might actually get along after all!”
What it does – the psychology
Us men have a predisposition to assume that the time to show our interest in a girl is after we have established our value. NO!
If you show interest in a girl before she has earned it it is artificial, and she knows it.
Do not show significant interest until she has done something to earn it. Put yourself in her shoes again – attractive girls get approached and hit on all the time. You hit on her randomly, its simply not organic. You could be hitting on any girl there and just trying to show you’re worthy (not the right mindset anyway).
If a girl has shown she meets your qualifications, she has now shown value to you. Now you can show IOIs because she has earned them, and she will understand she is beginning to win you over. This is real to her, now when you ask for her number, it’s not because she’s a cute face in the bar, it’s because she’s a cool girl who you want to get to know better.
Figure out what you want to select for, screen her, qualify her, give her a chance to meet your qualifications, pass your tests and earn your interest.