This post was requested by Meteora after he posted about what he observed at parties hosted by fraternities at college. I have had extensive experience and success at these parties and frequent them often as I myself am in a fraternity. But I digress. Anyways, these are my tips to being successful at a college frat party.
Preparing to go out
Getting ready to go out is the most important part of your game. It is when you get into the right Mindset, ready to go out and cruise the town with friends and having a great time. To do so, here’s what to do:
- Put on some good music. Put on something similar to what they’re playing at the party you’re about to go to. Whatever really gets you going put it on. I prefer something with a deep, heavy bass that shakes the room.
- Now that you have the music going, clean yourself up. Take a shower, brush your teeth, and shave. All that good stuff. Be listening to the music during this and start moving around a little. Get the rhythms down; it’ll be important later on if you’re dancing with a girl.
- Time to get dressed. I’m not going to write out a fashion guide though. Wear whatever you are most comfortable in. The only tip I’ll give is to wear something that fits your body. Not something baggy and not something extremely tight.
Ok so you’re ready to go out now, right? Wrong. Time for the pregame. Whether it’s at your place or a friend’s, always pregame a party. This does not necessarily mean drink. If you don’t drink, that’s fine, but it’s still important to attend a pregame. It gets you in the right mood for talking and will warm you up before heading to the party. Also, it will help with your social proof. When you go to the party, you will go with the people from your pregame, allowing you to enter with a group.
Now that you’re cleaned up and have pregamed, it’s time to head out to the party. Get your group together and head on over. However, before you get there, there are two rules to live by:
1. Do not show up less than a half hour after the party “starts.” The party won’t actually start for at least a half hour after the time you are told and chances are it will take an hour or more to really get going. I like to show up before it gets big so it is easier to scope things out but not too early. Typically 45 minutes is a good time.
2. Do not show up with only guys. This is the biggest mistake that I see people make at parties. First, it just makes it hard to get into the party, even if you know someone. And the people that are walking right in will notice and remember you. Second, it just hurts your social proof. This is huge in college. You want to be the life of the party and you do this by bringing girls. Guys will take notice of you. They’ll want to be your friend so they can hang out with you and the girls. Girls will want to be your friend. They see that you have already been preselected. A general rule of thumb that I follow for a girl to guy ratio is this:
a. If you have two guys, you need at least one girl
b. Three guys, at least two girls
c. Four to six guys, you need at least as many girls as guys
d. Any more than six guys, you need at least one more girl than guys
Obviously, you can fine tune this ratio to whatever fits for your school. Personally I prefer to go out with a smaller group. Usually one other guy and as many girls as possible. This ranges anywhere from one to four girls. Anything more and it becomes slightly overwhelming.
Arriving at the Party
What you do when you first arrive at the party is the second most important part of your night next to the prep. Hopefully you arrived with a solid group of girls. People will notice this. First things first, go get a drink. It does not have to be alcoholic; it can be just water if you want. But always have a drink. As the vast majority of people there will be drinking, it will look weird if you have nothing. This is also the easiest time to scope out the party, see who’s there that you know, and find potential targets for later.
Once you have your drink build your social proof. As soon as you turn from the bar/drink area start talking to someone. This can be someone you know or someone you don’t. It doesn’t matter if it’s a guy, girl, group of guys, group of girls, or a mixed set. All that matters is that you’re talking and getting warmed up. While talking to this group, unless you have picked a target, subtly be scoping out the room. Try not to be too noticeable doing this as you do not want to appear bored to the group you’re in or potential targets. You can keep the subtlety by looking just past different people in the group you’re in or by shifting your body weight so you’re looking from different angles.
As soon as you have found a target, excuse yourself from the group and approach. I have not found one type of opener that has consistent success. I have used direct, indirect, and opinion openers and they all have failed miserably and succeeded incredibly. Personally, I am more comfortable with opinion openers so I stick with those. My only advice is to choose whatever you’re most comfortable using and go up confidently. Confidence is the key to it being successful. From this point on, just run your game. Stick to the three second rule and the five minute rule (a rule that I have developed for college parties as they require a faster paced game. See other tips for a detailed description).
So you have a girl that you want to bounce with? Good for you! Only… Where do you go? You have four options here. Either go to her place, your place, somewhere for food, or another party. I always try my best to avoid bouncing to her place. If you go to her place, you have to go by her rules as you’re in her territory. Somewhere neutral is much better and your own place where it is your territory is infinitely better. Here are my tips for each place:
New Party: If you bounce to a new party, do not, I repeat, DO NOT ditch her for a new set, use her as a pawn, etc. Even if you see the hottest HB11, do not do it. If you are not happy with the girl you bounced with, you shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Don’t settle for a girl, only take ones you are happy with. Anyways, use this new party to build comfort. Get some drinks, dance some more, sit and talk. Just keep her entertained.
Food Place: It’s always good to bounce for some food. This is probably the easiest thing to get a girl to bounce for. Especially if she’s been drinking. Most people get the munchies, so use that to your advantage. Choose somewhere that isn’t too busy so that you two can talk without yelling. Once again, build comfort and keep her entertained.
Your Place: Obviously, this is the best place to get a girl to bounce to. If she agrees to come home with you, chances are she has high interest in you. If she does come home with you, make sure that she’s comfortable. Get her some clothes to change into (shorts and a tshirt typically). Who wants to “sleep” in a skimpy tight dress or something of the sort? Show her where the bathroom is, see if she wants anything to drink, whatever you would do for a normal guest.
Side note: If you have a roommate (especially if you are living in dorms and share your room with someone), make sure you have a system worked out ahead of time of what to do should one of you have a guest. Whether it is to alert the other and they have to leave, they just stay and roll towards the wall, etc., make sure that you have something worked out to avoid conflicts.
Her Place: Worst comes to worst, you can’t get her to bounce to any of the above three places. That’s ok though, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance. Offer to walk her back to her place. Be a gentleman to her. If she objects, just tell her that you insist on just walking her back and making sure she’s back ok, nothing more. Now here’s a little trick to use: on the way to her place you will happen to get a little thirsty. Make a comment about this. Even if you’re not, do it. Once you have reached her place, mention this again and ask if she minds you coming in for a glass of water. As you have just walked her back, most girls will agree to this. Once you’re inside, you can escalate things with her. Do not push to get to the bed right away, if she has a kitchen stay there, if she has a living room go sit there, etc. Wait for her to move things to the bed. Additionally, be watching for queues that she might not want you to stay. Do not wait for her to kick you out. Once you start sensing these queues, leave on her own. Tell her it’s late and you have to get going. Her kicking you out is a huge dlv and will most likely ruin any chances you might have had with her.
The Five Minute Rule – At a college party, things are much faster paced than in a bar or club. In a bar/club, you might have 10, 15, 20 minutes to close a girl. Maybe even more, depending on how things are going and how relaxed the atmosphere is at the place. However, at a college party, things move much faster. If you have not closed a girl in the first five minutes, your chances are shot down to nearly zero of closing. Obviously you do not want to be checking your watch and timing out exactly five minutes from when you opened, just learn about how long five minutes feels and keep it in mind. Now an important thing about closing – when I refer to closing a girl at a college party, I mean at least a k*close. Younger girls have not learned how to screen guys yet as well as women at bars/clubs and thus will give out their money like free candy. Unless you k*closed her, chances are the number is a flake. This is not to say that you should not be getting all the numbers you can. Should you not close the girl in the first five minutes, give an excuse to leave and get her number. You will rarely be denied and it doesn’t hurt to shoot her a text the next day or two.
Drinking – For me, there is nothing wrong with drinking while gaming. Personally, I like to build a good buzz while gaming. It helps to get me in a talkative mood. I can achieve the same state sober but it is a slower process. The alcohol just helps. The only thing I’d advise against is getting to the point of blacking out and/or puking. If you are not able to stand on your own, form complete sentences, etc., obviously you are not going to be picking up any girls. Some guys feel (and truly are) better at picking up girls when they are drunk. If you are one of these guys (make sure you actually are, not just that you feel you are) then go for it. Drink while gaming. The key is just finding the right balance. Find what works best for you and stick to it.
Clothing – Wear whatever you are comfortable with. However, try and wear something that is more fitted to your body. Avoid loose, baggy clothes. Other than that, your choices are wide open!
Well, that’s all I have to say about College Game for now. Feel free to critique any parts on here and leave any feedback that you want. It is greatly appreciated!
Best of luck to all of you!
Note: I am in no way supporting underage drinking, should you choose to drink underage you do so at your own risk.