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  1. #1
    Ricky Guest

    Question OK - I can get numbers and even day 2s. I am having trouble after that? HELP!

    I can get numbers, some kiss-closes and even a few day 2 (dates). What do I need to do on my day 2s, to get a second date (and of course more intimacy)?

    Any advice?

  2. #2
    RocketMan Guest



    Ninety percent of the women I go out with on a first date want to have an intimate relationship with me by the end of the date. So dudes have asked me. "What is the biggest mistake dudes make on the first date that prevents ever having a second date or developing a intimate relationship (rather than a friendship)?"

    Well there are several mistakes a guy can make. Let me summarize them here then go into more detail. MISTAKES ARE:

    1) Chatting about yourself too much. Trying to be interesting instead of INTERESTED
    3) FOCUSING TOO MUCH ON SEX-- either overtly or by innuendo.
    4) NOT USING SUBTLETIES ENOUGH (What a woman understands)
    6) NOT CREATING FUTURE. (A relationship is ALL about FUTURE.)

    The first mistake that most dudes make is that they go on the first date and chat all about themselves, sort of strut around telling the girl that he's got this car, and he's got this job and he chats and chats and chats bragging about this and that trying to impress the girl that he is a good catch.

    What a girl sees is a self-centered egomaniac that isn't going to be able to take care of her at all, because he is not interested in her and doesn't listen to what she has to say. Not a good relationship prospect.

    Another way of saying it is that dudes try to be interesting. They figure they have to be interesting for a girl to be interested in them. Sorry dudes, but it doesn't work that way. You have to be INTERESTED in the girl, not INTERESTING to get her attention. Did you ever see two interesting people on a date? It is hilarious! They are both so busy trying to be interesting to the other that neither has time to be interested in the other.

    If you don't know what I am chatting about, think what makes you feel better. A girl who is INTERESTED in you? Or a girl who is telling you how cool she is, how hot she is, etc. and all kinds of other INTERESTING things.

    INTERESTING leads to a lot of rejection and "platonic" friendships by the way. Women will be friends with a guy who is really interesting. Why? Women like to be amused and entertained. Interesting men are sort of like children to them. A source of non-intimate amusement and pleasure.

    Then there are the dudes who are SCARED shitless and don't know what to say. So they say all kinds of useless and banal and irrelevant stuff to again be INTERESTING to the girl.

    Then there are dudes who dread silence. So whenever there is a silent moment they feel awkward and have to fill the silence with some noise, so they open their mouths and say something trite and banal again just to keep the conversation going and again to be INTERESTING to the girl.- THEY AREN'T. You don't have to fill silence with verbal chatter. Maybe it is a good time for some non-verbal communication like a smile, or a light touch.

    90% of the women I have a first date with want to go out with me again and have a relationship with me. WHY, well the biggest factor is I am INTERESTED in getting to know them. So I never come scripted, I am always just there and I ask questions designed to get to know the person in front of me.

    THE SECRET? Well, I just said part of it, so here is it all:

    I AM INTERESTED. I ASK QUESTIONS and then I LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS. Based on the answer they give, I may ask another question or I might say something that I know they would be interested in knowing because of what they just said.

    MOST of the time I spend about 80% of my time on a date LISTENING. Women like that.

    ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE MEN MAKE that prevents a second date is putting too much conversation attention on sex, intimate topics, intimate innuendos, and her looks.

    ALL LADIES THINK that ALL MEN JUST WANT SEX. So basically, they are right and dudes have to realize that women have our number and are not impressed by it. WOMEN already KNOW you want sex. She wouldn't even be there on the first date, if she weren't vaguely OK with the concept of having sex with you. What she wants to know is: WHAT ELSE do you want; what ELSE do you like about her; what ELSE can you do for her; What ELSE do you have in common with her; how ELSE can you have fun together.

    So, LISTEN to what she chats about, because If you listen you will get clues.

    WOMEN communicate in SUBTLETIES and like to be communicated to with SUBTLETIES.

    As a rule I NEVER tell a good looking woman she is good looking until the 3rd or 4th date. That is a subtle communication that tells her that I am not like all the other dudes who kiss her behind.

    So, you see, you don't have to tell a woman how pretty she is on a first date. (Especially if she is gorgeous, because she gets so much of this so often, it actually becomes a turn-off to her.) You can complement her on her dress, or her shoes, or you can say she has a nice personality (find something non-intimate you like about her and complement it) or you could say (but only once and non-repetitively) she has pretty eyes, or a cute nose, or a nice smile, or she has pretty hands. (Always pick a non-intimate part of the body to complement)

    So if you don't chat about yourself and intimacy. What DO you chat about? Chat about whatever the girl wants to chat about. LISTEN, and base your conversation off of what she is interested in. Ask questions about her. BUT you should have two goals for the night..


    Now you don't want to CHAT about INTIMATE stuff too much, but that does not mean you don't want to get the old intimate juices going. BUT you do that mostly non-verbally, not verbally (Unless she starts a intimate conversation with you.) Now some of the DATING EXPERTS have real good courses on how a man can be sexy and get a woman's attention intimately. (David DeAngelo's course comes to mind.) And this is an in depth topic that is much too deep for my article here. So let's just say it is done with posture, manners, attitude, movement, voice rhythms, and the occasional moving in close and the withdrawing, or light touch or holding of the hand momentarily. Verbally it is done with the right gradient of topic. If you do it right the woman will always give you a goodnight kiss as a way of further testing that sector out, and let you know by her non-verbal signals, whether you should continue or just let it go with a simple light kiss. It is better to develop it, make the woman want more, and walk away than to over reach and destroy everything else you have built up here. A simple hug, or a light kiss or the cheek or the mouth is what I do on 90% of my first dates that I am interested in.


    What is future? Well if you are going to have a relationship with someone, rather than just a one-date-goodbye. You have to have some future interaction. AND FUTURE IS NOT "Can we go out again sometime." That is definitely NOT FUTURE. That is a plea! Begging! And this will definitely scare them away. (Watch "Blind Date" on TV some time.)

    Future is scheduling something that you both would be interested in doing for whatever reasons, sometime in the future. Something with value to both of you. YOU may want to have SEX with the girl right away in the future. BUT SHE DOESN'T- not yet. She wants to get to know you a little better. So FUTURE is a way that she can get to know you a little better, before deciding if she wants to have a intimate relationship with you or not. WOMEN LIKE THAT. And women like dudes who understand that.

    YOU SEE the girl wouldn't go out on the first date with you if there weren't some possibility that she could have sex with you. (BEING THERE is a subtle communication. She wouldn't be there if she wasn't somewhat interested.) So, unless you blow it, you will get sex eventually. HOWEVER, most dudes DO blow it 9 out of 10 times instead of closing as I do 9 out of 10 times.

    So how to create FUTURE? Well on a date it is relatively easy. APPLY what I have said above. ASK QUESTIONS and LISTEN. She will tell you something that gives you a subtle opportunity to see her again, and it should be something she would be really interested in and it won't scare her off.


    While you are listening she chats about the math class she is taking in college she is having trouble with. You happen to me a math genius. You simply say, "Well I am really good at math. If you would like some help with your homework. Let me know." Then shut up. If she is interested in you, she will take the bait and say. "Yeah, oh I would so appreciate that" or something of the sort. If you have totally blown it by now and she doesn't want your help despite her learning disability, she won't take the bait. THAT WON'T HAPPEN unless you violated something else I have chatted about here, and you chatted about yourself too much, tried to be interesting, didn't listen, chatted about sex or how pretty she was too much.

    While you are listening she says how she really likes to go dancing. So if you like dancing you say "Really, me too. I love dancing, let's do that sometime." Or if you don't like to dance, don't lie. Say, "Really, then maybe you could help me because I don't know a thing about dancing but I think its time I learned. Do you think you could teach me a little sometime."

    GET IT? Come up with something you both could do in the future that she and you would really like to do, that's not a plea "Can we go out again?"

    By the way FUTURE is the key to meeting women on the street in the store etc. Lots of women will give you their phone numbers but about 90% of the beautiful ladies I know say they would never have a relationship with someone they met that way. BUT if you can establish FUTURE right there on the street or on the first call you can destroy those odds. And REMEMBER FUTURE is NOT: "Can we go out sometime." To a lady that just means you want sex, and you are asking for it before you have established any other value to her.

    You see, meeting women who work in stores or restaurants is easier than stopping them on the street, because the situation already has future built in. you know where they work, you can come back again and again, she can get to know you. FUTURE you see.

    But, stopping a girl on the street and establishing FUTURE. Now that can be a challenge. But, I've done it. Many times. You apply the same principles above. Don't chat about yourself. Be interested in her. Ask questions. Listen to the answers. When she says the opportune thing that you can tell has value to her then jump right in with some FUTURE.
    Last edited by RocketMan; 12-30-2008 at 05:33 PM.

  3. #3
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    Future projection is an amazing way to establish a connection... it is incredibly powerful if done correctly in a non-creepy way.


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