So you wanna talk a girls pants off do you? It ain't like opening, this isn't the sprint of hooking a set. This is a marathon. An endurance challenge. It takes an average of 7 hours to get a girl into bed and if she's not a talker... you better have at least 9 hours of GOOD material... or else be able to pull it out of the air.
Pulling it out of the Air
Here's WHAT happens:
You sit down at coffee with a beautiful girl. The conversation is stimulating and enthralling without missing a beat. There isn't an awkward moment - not once in the little cafe - for two hours. You exit the building and stroll along the street and for a half-hour the air is filled with your chatter and her laughter, she has begun giving you the eyes... the Eye-O-I's. Now it's dinner time, you pop into the restaurant for a bite, running a cold read or kokology with kino while you wait. At the table you dine on your meal and silence ensues, a comfortable silence of those enjoying the food. After two hours you proceed to the bar. You're quieter here, she leans in; your kino is working and you kiss close. FTC the lateness of the hour and it's time to go home.
Mais attendez-vous! You two've been talking for 6 hours! A car ride home, an excuse to come in, a drink + some kino + pull the trigger! And you sir, have made it to S1 on a first date.
Here's HOW it happens:
DON'T:Ask interview-style questions.
"Where are you from?"
"Do you like sushi?"
DON'T: Scramble through Statement + Question
(The statement + question style which is perfect for daygame, but will only get about 30 minutes of material out of follow-up questions and cocky/funny comments - when on a date)
DO: Use statement + detail + statement + statement + statement + detail + (optional) question/or/conclusion
#1 - Include Self-disclosure
Self-disclosure means providing more information than is needed. This is classic when she asks what you do. Don't just tell her your job, don't even tell her your job and then stack to a story. Tell her what you do, why you do it instead of what you thought you would do as a kid, then as a teen, then in college - provide so many details to answer the getting to know you questions that any one of these details can be referenced back into a dhv story:
HB: "What do you do?"
AFC: "I'm a cardiologist."
HB: "What do you do?"
PUA: "I'm a plumber, but when I think back on it, I would not have seen myself ending up as a plumber. When I was a kid I had an uncle who was a cop, so I figured I'd be a fireman because that's how logic works when you're a little kid - lol - but then when I was a nerd in high school I got interested in architecture, then in college I did a study abroad in India - they have terrible infrastructure, especially plumbing - and I started taking classes in that sort of thing. Next thing you know I've got the bleeding heart motivation to save the developing world and the qualifications of a plumber - and that's what brings us here."
HB: "[you have now invited her to ask anything about your study abroad in India (Sociological Proof), your Cop Uncle (Ability to emote), what interested you in architecture (this project you had with your classmates - Leader of men)
Oh and P.s., all those (parenthesise) are DHV routines based on attraction switches you've come up with. Always have little micro-references to other DHV routines able to be mixed and matched between your other DHV routines. ...it's less confusing than it sounds: cross-reference your DHV routines.
(For more on DHV routines, see
#2 - Look for her "Hot Buttons"
Let's say she doesn't pick up on one of your self-disclosures immediately. That's okay. The BEST conversationalist is a good listener - truly. The second best is an entertaining talker. Prerequisite to you being a good listener is her being an abundant talker.
If she's also self-disclosing details about her self and her life then it's likely that those things are significant to her (*Note: tread carefully. "Significant" can be good or bad. If she mentions her parents a lot it might mean that she loves them or hates them, either way it's significant).
Take mental note when she mentions a surplus detail and ask her a follow-up question about it. Eventually you'll find those topics about which she can talk for hours. Show genuine interest (if it is arguably interesting) by noting specifics and details about what you find interesting about it.
HB: "I'm in Human Resources."
AFC: "Uh, ...it's just cool, I guess."
HB: "I'm in Human Resources."
PUA: "Oh-ho! A bureaucrat!?!"
PUA: "I actually didn't know what HR did at my company up until a few months ago when two of my co-workers went through a break-up and actually, HR really helped them mediate it - have you ever had to do that?"
[point is, be specific and you will trigger a specific story]
In summary ^ get her to run all of HER DHV routines X)
#3 - Segue to Self-disclosure threads
So let's say she hasn't asked many follow-up questions and you haven't found any hot buttons; well here are several different segues (stacking techniques) to try out in order to pursue new conversational threads. There are many similarities between these "different" segues, really they are each just different tails of the same horse.
Abrupt Segue - *often during a pause you can simply initiate a new conversational thread - I find that if you begin with "So..." or "Well..." it keeps her from saying "What?" after you've spoken (gets her attention better)*
Tangential Segue - *when one detail is fixated upon and the original thread is abandoned for a new thread relevant to the one detail*
Momentary Segue - "While I'm thinking of it..." *this can be anything that might have popped into your head for no reason*
Reminder Segue - "That reminds me..." *this needs to be based on or related to something that you or she said*
Attention Segue - "Hey look at that... [the last time I saw it/thought about it]" *this needs to attach to an actual tangible item in your environment that caught your senses (sight, smell, hearing, ESP etc)
Detail Segue - "You know what the thing is about that... [interesting detail]" *like a Tangent Segue, but not as fixated, just a little blurb*
Convenience Segue - "It's funny you mention..." *like an extended Detail Segue, basically this is a Tangent Segue which eventually works it's way back to the original thread after a little story or commentary*
#4 - Default to the big five: Family, Job/Career, School, Hobbies, Mutual Situation
And 'what if,' you wonder, 'you are having an off-night and aren't sure what to self-disclose and which of her self-disclosures to pursue?' Well in that case, default to the big five: five categories of threads to which everybody can relate. These can be used as fluff while you self-disclose and feel around for her hot buttons.
(No double entendre intended )
*Family - talk about your family and get her talking about hers. Everybody has a family in some form of the concept.
*Job/Career - everyone has a job and a reason they chose that one. Find out hers and tell her yours.
*School - whether a high school drop-out or a PhD/MD, everyone went to school somewhere at somepoint with someone.
*Hobbies - everybody's got them - compare and contrast yours with hers.
*Mutual Situation - what are you doing and why are you where you are when you are trying to think of something to say? Comment on the mutual situation and exchange stories of how you came to be there.
All ^ with further self-disclosure and further search for hot-buttons.
#5 - Situational Comments - * * *See Autismus Conversationalist Trilogy Part III (San)
IF at long last the above four topics don't yield any GOOD (key word here: good) material to game with for your full seven hours, then find content in your situation - like situational openers - but this one needs a whole different thread.
Be mindful of Set-Wrecking Topics:
Death (not mortality) - don't let her talk about the death of a loved on or her fear of death. Though the "beauty of the fleeting moment" and mortality can have their place, don't let her talk about an incident of death.
Suffering (not pain) - don't let her talk about and incident of chronic suffering, be it disease, oppression, emotion, whatever. You can talk about isolated incidents of pain in "ability to emote" gambits, but not chronic, systemic or ongoing pain - that's suffering.
Chaos (not randomness) - don't let her talk about the idea everything is random and/or meaningless - these thoughts diminish a sense of security and will lose comfort. If anything, keep her focusing on how random events coincide for destiny and meaning.
Cutting a Thread:
Whether it's taken a set-wrecking turn, or if you asked a follow-up about something she self-disclosed that turned out to be a negative topic for her, you need to know how to cut a thread.
Polite (as if you realized or remembered something):
"Sorry to interrupt, but while I'm thinking about it..." - ask a question with some urgency (did she want any syrup before you finished it? Does she know so-and-so from the whats-its place that she mentioned earlier? Has she seen whatever local attraction? Or see something out of the corner of your eye - it doesn't matter, just get her off that bad thread! Then stack to a routine about whatever it was. Srsly, don't let her stay on a bad thread - improvise if you have to! - a DLV routine would almost be better than letting her get two sentences in to a set-wrecker or a negative memory.
This is done more in design than in practice. As long as you use self-disclosure to set yourself up for a DHV routine (or just a segue routine) you will have no problem transitioning.
Problem Stacking (no self-disclosure):
AFC: "Who lies more, men or women?"
HB: "[her reason]"
AFC: "Oh true... uhm, is it cheating if my buddy's gf keeps old love letters?"
No Problem Stacking (abundant self-disclosure):
PUA: "Who lies more, men or women? I was having this exact argument with my sister last weekend."
PUA: "That's what she told me! She's a small-town girl, never left home. And when she was visiting that's what she said."
HB: "Who do you think?"
PUA: "Well I was put on the question because my buddy just found a bunch of old love letters under his fiance's bed - and we were debating whether that's cheating as well as men or women lie more."
HB: "That's not cheating!"
PUA: "Shades of grey in my opinion, but I'd say men lie more often but women lie bigger."
HB: "What do you mean shades of grey?"
PUA: "There's a difference between emotional and physical cheating."
HB: "Well that's true."
PUA: "And my sister, sweet, young, sheltered thing as she is, hasn't ever had to learn the difference."
HB: "How old is your sister?" OR "Where are you from" OR "..." -nothing at all.
Whatever she says, or nothing at all, you can keep the conversation going by referencing back to things you previously mentioned and providing even more extraneous details and self-disclosure.
In my opinion the phrase "stacking forward" is a misnomer because when you stack you are actually referencing BACK to details you included in your earlier statements and questions. You can only "stack forward" if you lay the foundation for you future threads within the details of your earlier threads.
Keeping Multiple Threads Active
To keep multiple threads going (which will help increase rapport exponentially) simply start on one thread, then cut the thread and segue to new threads as you please. Return back to old threads interchangeably with new threads. The more you cut, paste, and cross-reference threads the more connected she will feel.