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  1. #1
    Jag123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default how to get over "the approach"??!

    I feel like this is the biggest obstacle that is holding me back right now..take tonight..I went to the bar. there were a few girls I noticed ioi's. glancing at me..but I couldnt think of antthing to say so I never made the initial approach.

    and thus I end up here...with me at home not having really put in an effort with anyone..once I talk to someone I feel that I am fine, but that initial approach just seems to be the hardest...I cant think of "how" to approach or what to say initially

    how do you guys feel is the best way to approach a girl/what to say? and how can I get over it?

  2. #2
    viruscast's Avatar
    viruscast is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: how to get over "the approach"??!

    The 3 second rule works fine with me, within 3 seconds you should be already close enough to your target and Say something, dont worry to much on the content for now just get comfortable with walking up to your target and saying something, anything really just have fun remember its a game, once your comfortable then you can start running direct and indirect openers take a look at these guys they are approaching women and having fun and still get there numbers Pokemon Pick Up Lines: Get Her Number! - YouTube
    "Give her the gift of missing you" david d

  3. #3
    KnightTurner's Avatar
    KnightTurner is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how to get over "the approach"??!

    Like virus said, just get used to approaching people first. A simple high, my name is ___ is always good. You could also memorize one or two opinion openers as these apply to everyone (instead of trying to come up with a personalized opener for each girl). "Let me get your opinion on something- is it ok for guys to wear makeup?" And go from there. Whichever you choose, then just go for it. You might get blown out of the water at first (it takes some practice to learn the different paths the conversation could go and how to handle each) but it will come naturally very quick.
    DOOOOONNNN'TTTT CAAAARREEEEE

    You are the prize. She needs to earn it.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how to get over "the approach"??!

    I agree with the 3 second rule and more to the point start approaching as soon as you enter a place. That sets the pace for you. The longer you sit around gawking the harder it is. Approach a couple of easy targets if you must first. A simple 'Hi how are you? Im ____' is basically all I say. Anything else is overkill or try hard. I sometimes ask 'having a good night?' followed by an offer 'I can make your night better' said with 100% conviction. How can I make their night better? At worst I can compliment them or toast drinks. At best if I am in the right mood and the right time of night I can say 'lets kiss'.

    You didnt get the girls because you didnt know what to say but because you didnt approach. You could fumble all sorts of openers and still get the girl because she will still recognise the effort you made and the basic confidence in it. It doesn't matter what you say but you must say it with no fear, so pysch up and jump into the cold water rather than standing on the beach or inching your way in like a girl. Dive. Also talk to other guys at clubs...never know where networking can take you.

    If you approach a group talk to all of them and introduce yourself. Talk to your target after gaining rapport with the group. Try remember their names and use them back at them when talking so you're are less of a stranger and if you are good at something or have a great job say it to dhv. Be friendly and calm like you're just out for a great night and are going to meet all sorts of people irrelevent of them. Move on rapidly from tables or girls that dont respond. Move on from clubs or bars that don't have an open vibe.

  5. #5
    aRsen is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: how to get over "the approach"??!

    On one hand I really agree with the 3 second rule; however, I believe my best game is in using the Situation as a topic starter.

    For example, I was in a Country bar the other night, and despite the fact that I know how to 2-step I approached a HB9 and told her I am new and if she could teach me how to 2-step. Number Close btw.

    If you are not really spontaneous then this is a good way for you to approach women. Take her easy, check out the bar, come up with some situational based pickups or conversation starters and then go ahead.

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: how to get over "the approach"??!

    I actually made a post yesterday that deals with the whole Approach Anxiety topic.

    Check it out here.

    Basically the anxiety (fear) is just a mental state / belief system you've developed & you need to reprogram / re-train the way you think about it.

    In my post, I explain the little trick I use that made me change the way I look at the approach. And it's not anything difficult at all.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    rollorama is offline Banned PUA
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    Default Re: how to get over "the approach"??!

    I used to have mad Approach Anxiety, part of a general social anxiety that I had for a long time. This summer I went to an electronic music festival in BC and was dumb for the first time. I've never felt so easy in my whole life, it was amazing. Together with the music this made for an intense spiritual experience and came away feeling reborn.

    Deleted due to inappropriateness

    Oh ya, and banned.

  8. #8
    KnightTurner's Avatar
    KnightTurner is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default

    The point of the forum is to discuss meeting women naturally, not using artificial aides.
    DOOOOONNNN'TTTT CAAAARREEEEE

    You are the prize. She needs to earn it.


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