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Thread: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

  1. #1
    Poor_Richard is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    Ok, so I've been lurking on here for a few weeks now and reading what I could and trying what I learned, but nothing is really working. I need help in every area, but seeing as I'm having trouble getting past meeting girls, I figure this is a good place.

    So I try to meet girls, I've tried to have confidence, carry on conversation, and I just keep getting either the really disinterested look or the "this conversation is really awkward" look. I've even heard a few girls talk about how weird and awkward it was to their friends as I walked away. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I really don't.

    I go to college, this is supposed to be easy right? My friends don't seem to be having troubles, but I do. I'm still a virgin and it's pathetic I know. I'm starting to lose hope here.

    Also I guess it helps to note, trying to hookup or get in a relationship, I really just need something.
    Last edited by Poor_Richard; 10-21-2012 at 02:57 PM. Reason: fogot something

  2. #2
    Hopeful33's Avatar
    Hopeful33 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    i think you need more confidence. just build yourself up every day say something positive about yourself. and with the conversation you have to be interesting you cant just ask questions
    im on a different level

  3. #3
    jackcade is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    Well, I am learning `women`for the first time in my life as well, although I am not a virgin and have had several relationships.
    My strategy is to read as much as I can. I am going to work on one aspect at a time, and just believe in myself. You are not going to turn into something you weren`t yesterday today. Its going to take some work.

  4. #4
    Poor_Richard is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful33 View Post
    i think you need more confidence. just build yourself up every day say something positive about yourself. and with the conversation you have to be interesting you cant just ask questions

    Well the confidence thing is a big issue, obviously. It's just really hard to be confident in yourself when nothing you've done has really worked out and you're in college. People also say I'm interesting and funny and believe me I can put on a good show and really seem confident. It's like I need something to show me that I'm doing right so I can move forward. I guess I feel a lot like I'm caught in the middle of traffic with no idea which direction to go. I've also tried the whole being positive every day thing, but that gets hard when the first thing you think when you wake up is "You haven't done anything right, kill yourself"

  5. #5
    Hopeful33's Avatar
    Hopeful33 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    so deer in the head lights. girls can tell if your just putting stuff out there and are putting no meaning behind it or your just floating the conversation because you dont know what to talk about
    im on a different level

  6. #6
    Poor_Richard is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful33 View Post
    so deer in the head lights. girls can tell if your just putting stuff out there and are putting no meaning behind it or your just floating the conversation because you dont know what to talk about
    So can I get some links on how to prevent that and what to do? I know that once people know me I can draw some pretty good interest, but before then is the problem.

  7. #7
    Bctemplar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    here's a good first step towards building inner game ... Chose a more positive user name that reflects were you want to be not where you've been, lets forget poor_Richard and find Rich!

  8. #8
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    Richy Rich, I agree with BC, I think it has mostly to do with a) you have limited sexual experience and b) that is then affecting your outlook and trying to hard. This leads to weak verbose. Get to know some girls as friends and even use your situation as an advantage. 'Hi there, minjd if I join you for lunch? Im trying to meet some new friends'. Sometimes you can play reverse pychology and tap into womens empathy side. 'Oh Poor Richard...' haha. But seriously I have done this when I have been travelling. I slide into a group of girls as the loner underdog to gain rapport. I then use that group of girls as bait for other groups or to slowly take over that group. If you can't scale the walls, dig underneath. Any which way but loose.

    Actually you sound quite confident. Many men cannot even approach and you're collected and humble in describing that your a nice, interesting guy.

    I suspect you are simply coming across too eager with women because you are a virgin and so sexual tension is holding you back and you're wanting it happen straight away. Perhaps just try to game girls to meet new friends. You can't fake you are a stud when you are not. target the right types of women first and work to your strengths. Dont try too hard, just meet girls and talk about normal stuff. Not all of them have to be a potential girlfriend. Learn the art of friendzoning women. Get a few sly kisses in. Do some extra curricular classes or hobbies to meet women in less threatening situations. Better to have a boring conversation than a weird awkward one. Utilize time constraints. Walk up to a girl and say 'Hi how are you? I'm ____ nice to meet you...what are you studying? How do you like it? Got any nasty lecturers? ' and then say 'oh hey Ive got to go this way...nice talking to you, have a good day and behave in class yeah....' if she responds well you can try ask her number almost like you forgot ...if she says 'yeah whatever dude' keep walking.

    When I was younger I sometimes avoided long approaches and would go up to a girl and say something along the lines of 'Hi, I can see you're with friends but I wanted to quickly ask if you would be interested in going out for coffee this?'. Amazingly a lot of women would say yes. I never said anything remarkable but I never said anything awkward. That was because I was shy of talking to her in front of all her friends, so Id do a quick sniper attack. They have to also quickly judge you so as long as you are reasonably handsome, confident and sincere, they have nothing to loose.

  9. #9
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    Rich I'm gonna suggest you start Looking within yourself as a man and find who you are and embrace that and be yourself. If its you and its genuine you can't go wrong once you add some Game and tactics to your life...

    Have a great journey hope to see you grow...

  10. #10
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Trying, but not really getting anywhere

    What have u read rich? Because i highly suggest u read double your dating by david deangelo and attraction code by dicarlo.

    REALLY helped me deal with similar issues way back when. And they both are concise... concetrated. This way u can read them over and over and not wait for any new posts or advice here. Everything we can say is covered in those.

    And by the way... i see u joined in sept. Please dont think this takes a month. You need at least 90 straight days of practice and reading. And an additional 90 days to fine tune. And failure is good. If u didnt fail, u would not get a feel for what works.

    But the point is going out and trying... more approaches gives u more opportunities to see what fails and what works.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde



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