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  1. #1
    Playa's Avatar
    Playa is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Eye contact during conversation IS HUGE

    Hey guys,

    Found a great article related to eye contact. I think eye contact, both before you talk to a girl and during the conversation is highly under-rated.

    David Shade-
    I asked one woman friend of mine "why did you go out with him?" and she replied: "because when I looked at him he kept eye contact with me."


    When I recall the very successful people I have had the pleasure of working for in the corporate world, I remember that they all maintained eye contact while speaking to me. When you watch somebody successful being interviewed on TV, like Scott McNealy of Sun, you notice that they never look away from their interviewer?s eyes and they rarely blink.

    You are approaching a chick in the hall as you walk towards each other. When should you look at her? (Her eyes, silly. If you look at anything else, it?s over.) I have tried all combinations. If I wait until the last instant, I either find she is not looking, or, if she is looking, she quickly looks away. If I look at her and she looks at me and I look away, then she never looks again. Then I tried something bold and decide I will look at her eyes the entire time. To my amazement, she gazes like a deer into headlights. Never breaks eye contact. So I decide to try this little experiment.

    Recently I spent a week attending meetings in one of our buildings filled with educated successful professional women in their 20?s and 30?s. Most are definitely doable. Some are gorgeous. Some are married, some are not. I spent my time between meetings trying this: I would pick a different floor and I would walk down each hall, walking just slightly to the right of center. When I saw a woman walking towards me, I maintained looking at her eyes. Only the heavy ones did not keep looking. But for all the others, including the gorgeous ones, they maintained eye contact the entire time. I never blinked. They never blinked. They broke eye contact only when we were just about next to each other. I broke eye contact only after she did. What really amazed me was that by the time we passed, almost every chick had broken a smile. Some even said "Hi." I did not smile or say Hi until they first did.

    These halls were not long. Each woman was no farther than 30 feet away when I first saw her. But what if it had been a very long hall? How far down the hall should I start looking at her eyes? I certainly don?t want to scare her. I look straight ahead, and then when she is about 30 feet away, I start looking into her eyes. (Since my original post, I have dropped that and I now start looking at her from the moment I see her, no matter how far away. It does not scare the secure ones.)

    I then went to the mall a few times to try the experiment there. Most did not look at all. Of those who did look, most only looked for a second. Only about a third locked on. Of those, about half broke a smile or said Hi. A couple of them where so moved that they almost tripped.

    Do you have to be walking? I tried the experiment while sitting. Almost none maintained eye contact. Do they have to be walking? While I was walking I would look at any chicks who were sitting. The results were the same as if we were both walking.

    If I was approaching two chicks, and looked from one to the other, I lost them both. So, if I am in such a situation, I lock onto one and I don?t change my mind. She will lock on.

    If I smiled or said Hi, while she was still looking at me, but before she smiled or said Hi, it would usually result in my loosing her. On rare instances did it make her smile and say Hi with enthusiasm. So, I never smile or say Hi until she first does so, and I smile if she smiles and say Hi if she says Hi.

    If she did not lock eye contact with me, I would go ahead and say Hi when she got close to me. In many instances she would then enthusiastically turn to me and smile and say Hi.

    I would also look at chicks who were with a man if he was not looking in my general direction. I was surprised at the number of times that she would lock on and actually smile.


  2. #2
    Dahn Guest


    Indeed this is amazing..and for any one who doubts this should just give it a go. Give your self a goal go out and keep i contact with 5 women in a day then 10 so on and on. You'll be surprised how much your confidence increase's

    A quick and a few buddies were in Prague bout 3 years ago I told them one day that we were going out to tour the city that im going to see how many women i can get to look in my direction i told them that i was going to shoot for 5 women (even the ones that were apparently taken) so i did so and as we were near the Charles bridge i received strong eye contact from at least 15 women some even kept staring and even turned their head to look in my direction...The guys that some of the women were with were completly obvlivious to what was going on lol. This made my day it even made for a good nite in the clubs and bars.

    So point being dont be afraid to let them know that your a strong, confident man and willing to seduce with your looks if you have to

    -Peace and Wisdom

  3. #3
    Ricky Guest


    OK - When I go out tonight I am going to maintain eye contact with at least 10 women. The key I think will be to smile and not be creepy. Check back tomorrow and I will let you guys know how it goes.

  4. #4
    Encore's Avatar
    Encore is offline PUA in Training
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    I tell ya what - having solid eye contact has really made a difference in my game. A friend JCH who used to teach with Juggler taught me both by instructing me and also me just watching him interact in the field how important eye contact can be in terms of making a cold approach into a 'warm' approach. It is all about giving a look that says you seem familiar and you intrigue me... kind of like how two people who were already friends who just recognized each other.. but wanted to keep the fact that they knew each other a secret... if that makes sense.


  5. #5
    rdc Guest


    Wow, the past few days I've been paying specific attention to eye contact during conversation .... Darn, it makes all difference in the world so far. Thanks for the tip....

  6. #6
    ionos Guest


    Eye contact is hard. Now that I am aware of it I am constantly struggling to maintain it. So I've got my hands full making it during a conversation.

    I've tried the whole, locking eyes with a girl for more than a second, it's nearly impossible because my reflex is to look away quickly. Is it true that you wait for them to smile first though, that is hard...I worry about coming across as creepy.

    It's difficult to untrain yourself. I used to look at people when I talked to them in Junior high, and then I got glasses and suddenly I could see people's faces clearly - real eye contact was so intense. And then of course things happen to whittle away confidence little by little and pretty soon your staring at your shoes all the time. I think this is where my focus will be for a while til I have it down pat.

  7. #7
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    I like to smile (not a fake smile), but a genuine happy smile - almost like you are laughing. Also try winking more, it makes you smile. Eye contact while smiling is the MOST powerful thing you can do pre-approach. It will turn a cold approach into a warm approach.

    I've seen women across the room and didn't even have to talk to them to know they wanted me cause we both exchanged a smile. When I did go up it was more of a "OK - we like each other, what are we gonna do about it"... than an opinion opener with a false time constraint or whatever.

    Smile and eye contact.... they are HUGE.


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