So, youíve been friend zoned?
Or you think you have? Or you just want to avoid it?
These are my general tips for what to do, how to avoid it, and how to get out of it.
First Ė Iím going to note that I donít think being friend zoned is as absolute as many people say. You can hang out with a girl for months and still escalate sexually in the right context. Itís just not as easy as it is from the get go when sheís still forming an opinion of you.
Girls put you in friend zone because they still want to talk to you but donít have a sexual interest. To avoid this, you need to be alpha and confident in yourself. Thereís 3 real focal points, but for the most part it comes down to having solid game.
First, be alpha. Be confident, confident body language, confidence among friends, etc.
Second, related to this Ė Kino kino kino. Kino is alpha and it will ensure that she will see you as a potential sexual object. Kino girls youíre not even interested in. Kino your friends, kino other guys. Kino shows youíre ok with touch, youíre in tune with yourself, and youíre not afraid of anyone. You want to be taken as a sexual threat, and kino helps ensure that. Honestly, Iíve got many orbiters of my own, girls that want me that Iím just not interested in Ė IE, girls Iíve friend zoned. Itís possible if youíre alpha. If youíre just out to get anyone whos willing to take you, wellÖ thatís why friend zone happens.
(Definition Ė orbiter Ė someone who wants to get with a girl who hangs around them but doesnít have a chance, this is how you end up in friend zone).
Third tip Ė use disqualifiers. Even if you havenít mastered tip one and two, using disqualifiers helps ensure that she canít put you in friend zone. Because youíve already stated that youíre not interested in her. Read this post to see how it works Ė
But RB, how do I respond when she gives me the line ďI just see you as a friendĒ, or ďI just want friends and I donít want anything to happen right nowĒ
There are several possibilities to respond to this. First and foremost, you DONíT want to tell her that you want more or see her as more than a friend. By doing so you are accepting her frame, her guidelines, and trying to change her mind. You are supplicating to her, very beta.
My preferred way to respond is to turn it around on her for being presumptuous (to be honest however it has been a long time since Iíve been friend zoned, it hasnít happened since I mastered steps 1-3). Try something like ďWhat? You thought you could get somewhere with me?Ē (along those lines but make it nice and teasing), or slightly different approach ďYes you are my friend, and friends donít put each other in a box. I donít want definitions on what can or canít happen, lets just go with itĒ.
Either way it is important that you maintain the frame Ė that is, you control what the discussion is about. Then you get back to being alpha, kinoing her, and disqualifying her.
If youíre slipping in to friend zone, its because she doesnít see you as a sexual threat. She doesnít see you as a sexual threat because youíre afraid to escalate. If you canít kino, you canít escalate. Donít be afraid to touch her, or to touch everyone. You need to be completely comfortable with this, otherwise youíll be her orbiter and get to go out and watch her get picked up by the other guys out there with the balls to do what you cannot.