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  • 5 Post By daltonbrayall
  • 2 Post By Tyrone1991

Thread: How I handle approach anxiety

  1. #1
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default How I handle approach anxiety

    How I handle Approach Anxiety

    Adam Lyons has a video on youtube I saw a while back about disqualifying situations. One of the situations he gave was how he had to walk through an alley on the way back from the club to his place. This would usually pose a problem for anybody including myself before I saw this video. What Adam says to do is disqualify the situation by making a joke about it or taking a completely different way home to disqualify the situation entirely.

    I do, and have always done the same thing with approach anxiety.

    Allot of people use what's called a three second rule, where if you see the girl you have to have opened within the next three seconds giving you no time to bitch out. This works really well for a lot of people, and it used to work really well for me as well before I got good at game and learned all the techniques.

    If anybody reading this is at all like me, they are overwhelmed with all of the possible openers, neg openers, responses to your openers, and what techniques to use, or techniques you want to test. I also don't like stopping whatever conversation right in the middle of it, or approaching when she's busy doing something.

    What I do when I see the set:
    1. Decide whether or not I want to open. Usually takes nothing more than seeing how attractive she is and seeing her laugh once

    2. Find which one is the leader of the group. She's the one I want to open with, because whether or not they allow me to stay with them is ultimately up to the leader of the group. If I open one of her friends instead, a lot of times the leader of the group will get jealous because she wants to be / and is used to being the one approached by the guys that approach her whenever they go out. If I open one of the other girls, the leader will more than likely be annoyed and end up being a cockblock. ( there are ways around this, and ways you can use that to your advantage but I'm not quite there yet so I stick with this.)

    3. Pick out a few flaws with the leader to use as negs for either an opener or push pulls. Usually only takes a glance, but its something I like to do while I'm finishing my conversation.

    4. Finish my conversation or whatever I'm doing, I try to drag it out for a couple minutes so as to completely put the set out of my mind for a little bit. By doing this I am disqualifying my approach anxiety by taking a break from thinking about it.

    5. The second I'm done with whatever I was doing, without thinking, I put down my drink, and walk away without saying anything to my friends and I go open without thinking at all until she makes eye contact while I'm on my way over. When she does make eye contact with me, I judge my next move by what she does next.

    If she looks away shyly which the leader of the set almost never does, I use a neg opener about how shy she is. Maybe something like this " what's the matter? Intimacy issues?" so easy to push pull after that, and she usually will try to qualify herself so as to maintain her leadership amongst the set.

    If she maintains eye contact then she's probably interested so just say hi if your that nervous. Just say what comes natural, I'm sure all the aspiring puas have a few openers that would work perfectly fine in this situation.

    If she ends up not being interested, oh well, pick up is a numbers game so move on.

    Either way, your approach anxiety has been handled by the time you say the first word. This thread is just about how I handle approach anxiety, and I know it seems like a lot to memorize or like its too technical. It really isn't. This all comes natural when your at the club having a good time with friends. Bottom line just don't think about it. Just go for it.
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  2. #2
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How I handle approach anxiety

    nice work, very interesting advice, Each and everyone of you have to find something that Allstars and most psychologist and social science members like to call an emotional trigger, But not just any, the emotional trigger that stimulates your confidence.

    Personal Example 1: For instance my body has gotten so used to sarging Wednesday,Friday and Saturday Night that Iam always alot more confident on those days.

    Personal Example 2: The Song (Memories - David Guetta) - I will listen to this song before i go out, and make sure its the last song I Listen too in order to stimulate my confidence, becuase That song triggers my confidence some how.

    It could be exercise, a memory, a smell, who knows, just find it and use it.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  3. #3
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How I handle approach anxiety

    Thanks dude, and yeah I didn't realize other people do that too, but I totally do.

    Everytime I go to the club, as soon as I hit the exit I'm supposed to take, I switch the song to closing time by semisonic, mainly just for the word play Haha but just laughing about the word play a little helps me loosen up and relax.
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  4. #4
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How I handle approach anxiety

    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How I handle approach anxiety

    That's great and all that we are so aware of this but did anyone stop and consider a rising trend here? We are all pretty well versed on Night Game. But how versed are we on our day game and why do we almost never use those Day Game venues as examples? The answer is simple. Day Game is a b!tch. My aa for Day Game this year was out of this world. I was up in the Club and Bars this year strutting my stuff and hollering at the girls who be checking my stuff, who be checking my stuff but as soon as I went to the Water Park, Outdoor Malls, Holiday Events I was like a whimpering little puppy. Happying wondering around but scared senseless of the unknown if I approached the female I felt like death would crawl into my throat.

    Well next year I am going to conquer my Day Game AA the easy way, by forcing myself to approach and just thrusting myself in there. That's how I learned Night Game. I thrust myself in and learned much of what I know on the fly. So I don't need a bunch of methods or anything just a good opener, a way to close and a little Fluff talk, kino, a timebridge and maybe a insta-date and I am good to go. I think we are slacking here in the Day Game department because we are too concerned about how we look if we open that Hot Chick with some Old People, or if we open the Hot Chick in broad daylight might cause a large amount of attention due to it being abnormal activity for most normal behavioral patterns we portray. The "norm" during the day for most men is to drool over hot women but never have the guts to actually approach. Tons of natural gamers can run Night Game but Day Game? That's for the studs and that's why our approaches must be unique.

    As I said I am super excited for Dark Souls II so think of it like this...In Dark Souls II the objective is to fear every encounter whether it is a troll or a undead soldier due to the nature of the game being so difficult.

    The Game is no different we would fare far better with greater pings and greaters results if we feared every encounter with women. For instance my last encounter with a female I was too full of myself and failed to see the beauty in the Set and just totally lost track of why I got into this thing to begin with. So remember those words "Fear every encounter" especially when it comes to Day Game next year I will not try to start off plowing but start off pinging and get the most out of each ping. Then maybe we can learn quality over quantity and run our routines of Push-Pull and Hot & Cold better when we are not so distracted by ourselves.
    101 Sets, 30 #'s, 4 K-closes, 1 Date, 1 Bar Pull. My next adventure starts Summer 2014 at the Brewfest, Water Park, Bars, Clubs, etc. Getting Hotels now to prevent driving drunk so really only 2-3 times a month doing Night Game June-Oct. Lots of Day Game.

  6. #6
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How I handle approach anxiety

    Was on to make a huge thread on handling app anxiety..onto

  7. #7
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How I handle approach anxiety

    Well I don't have a problem with day game, that's actually where I'm the most comfortable because that's where I started but yeah that's basically it. I think as a pua you should be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever


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