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Thread: limiting beliefs

  1. #1
    johnny derks is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default limiting beliefs

    It all starts in our head donít it, we are about to do something new and that voice creeps in, youíre not good enough, you are not ready, you donít have xyz like this person does. I think we can all at some stage relate to this type of thinking that creates these limiting beliefs which stop us from doing what we want to do, whether itís as basic as joining the gym for the first time or even meeting someone new for the first time i.e.. a woman. Itís like a little bully in our head that puts us down and has a level that feels is suitable for us to stay at which of course is the level that is making us unhappy, unfulfilled in not only our dating lives but in pretty much every area of our lives. Iím no psychologist but I would love to hear Sigmund Freudís take on limiting beliefs as to why men feel they are not good enough to attract a woman for themselves. Letís say for argument sake that Freud was right in saying that all our childhood conditioning plays a part in who we later become in our adult lives and the limiting b4eliefs we take on.

    Limiting beliefs are very complex as they are a cause of many different experiences and ideaís of whom we are and what our capabilities are. I believe its reference points at some stage of our lives perhaps a girl responded negative towards you in school so that knocked your confidence and that manifested into the idea of who you are and how women in general feel about you. Iím pretty confident that rejection is linked to limiting beliefs along with looks, money, position in life compared to the next tom, d1ck and harry which of course makes us feel inadequate. We are so caught up on how people view us i.e. women that we are almost slaves in our own minds because we act and seek for the approval of others in order to seek validation. We donít act on what we really want cause of fear of being rejected not loved, judged, by others. I say fark that, you must strive to go beyond this and stop caring what others think cause they donít care about whether your successful or not, in all fairness it would probably benefit them for you to stay this way as it leaves them feeling more successful.

    My point is that we are the cause of our own limiting beliefs and we are causing all these limitations that stop us succeeding with women and becoming the person we want to become. Letís put a positive spin and say the limiting beliefs are actually helping us to identify what the problem is in our lives? Then all we have to do is find the solution to the problem. I will touch on a common limiting belief guys have in regards to meeting women, looks, Iím not good looking enough to get a woman? Oh really who told you this? Did women come up to you and say this? Highly unlikely, itís your negative thinking and your world view that women are out to get you. I think the world has reference points all around us i.e. average looking men with attractive women but of course, no that canít be possible for me right! Wrong youíre not taking action youíre the cause of everything even the weird looks you may have got from women in the past because you project this type of vibe and of course women can pick up on this. If you work on yourself and start becoming the man you always wanted to be the women will love you but perhaps you are afraid of success cause the burden of responsibility scares you as that would mean coming out of your comfort zone and leaving those limiting beliefs behind you and taking on a whole new positive Mindset.
    I was once like this too, so I know how you feel and how frustrating it can be to want to change, but youíre scared of becoming this new confident guy who people actually admire as youíre so used to just blending in the background. I say the hell with that, fark them who ever these so called people are who are pre-judging you because let me be honest, they donít really exist, itís all you, yes thatís right you create your own reality, the limiting beliefs the negative thoughts so why not create a life style with no limits. I love the famous ďBruce LeeĒ quote using no way as the way! Having no limitation as limitation I will let you work that one out.
    Limiting beliefs are thought patterns that get stored up in our heads and they eventually become our reality, as the saying goes, man is whatever he thinks he is. So we have to break those patterns in order to diminish the limiting belief, as a drinker will cut back on the amount of drink or something as simple as going to a new venue as opposed to hitting your local pub every week. This will eventually cause your brain to create positive reference points and encourage you to come more and more out of your comfort zone and succeed in your dating life.
    Letís not forget that other people have limiting beliefs too i.e. our friends, social circle, so we can easily take on board the negative view on things. I remember when I was first getting into game. I told a close friend I wanted to become a professional pickup artist and he laughed and said you canít do that?! You see that negative comment he made definitely had some effect on my overall objective of perhaps inspiring others to better their understanding with the opposite sex. Letís just say it was the best thing he ever said cause when someone tells me Iím not capable of achieving something I laugh out loud in my head and say watch me. I have to say a big thanks to him as Iím now in a healthy position in my life and still striving to achieve more. I really am turned off by the term pickup artist, I prefer to say a confidence coach or life coach who inspires others to reach their goals as when you get down to the core, why guys get into the pickup arts in the first place, itís to develop themselves and find out who they are which if you stick at this we all do in the end.
    I can honestly say that through getting into self development it has dramatically changed my life in every sense of the word, I can now not only hold a conversation with attractive women but also I feel so comfortable in my own skin which if Iím being honest was the main reason I got into this in the first place. I knew that this dramatic change would result in me eventually sleeping with women and getting my dating life in check to the point where I had so many dates lined up, I had a headache choosing which one to attend. I can now leave my house and do an hour of daygame and get a date with an attractive woman, imagine that you can do the same if you start taking action and crush those limiting beliefs which you hold. At the risk of sounding like Iím bragging, I am because I went through hell to get here and believe me it was the most humbling experience I have had. It was so worth all the rejection, the uncertain moments, the girls who flaked on me, the girls who refused to take their knickers off when I got them back to the love shack, to the girls who eventually gave way. I will continue to overcome my existing limiting beliefs and strive for freedom of total expression as a human being and not let an idea that society has of how I should behave or the limits on what I can achieve.

    Johnny Berba,

  2. #2
    DaytonLax14 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: limiting beliefs

    Awesome post. I am the person you were before. I started learning about PUA because if you boil it down, I want to be comfortable in my own skin and just an overall confident person. You seriously hit the nail on the head when it comes to me. I struggle with limiting beliefs and I didn't even know it until I read this! I think that my limiting beliefs is what ultimately holds me back. What are some real life things that you did in order to destroy your limiting beliefs? I can't believe you described me dead on. Awesome post man.

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