Social proof is the concept of how much value you have based upon how interested other people seem in talking to you, or how interesting you seem. In daygame, this doesn’t really apply, in nightgame, its very important. If you’re sitting by yourself for hours and approach a girl out of the blue who has seen you sitting by yourself, you have no social proof. You even have negative social proof if she’s seen you there by yourself for some time.
Walking in with a big group of friends increases social proof. When you’re with a group, keep in mind your group is being constantly observed even if you’re not being stared at directly.
If you’re a group of guys sitting quietly by yourself scoping out the girls you’re too afraid to approach, people see that and you lose social proof, everyone loses value. When you go approach you have higher obstacles to overcome because you don’t seem interesting or fun. You give the impression that you’ll take energy from the group as opposed to contributing it.
If you’re having fun, high fiving, joking, smiling, laughing and having a great time with your friends, it makes you and everyone in your group seem more interesting and it makes opening much easier.
Again when you’re out, if you’re sitting by yourself or your group not talking to anyone, you lose value, lose social proof. If you go around talking to everyone at a venue in a genuinely social way, this gets noticed and you build social proof.
This works for your group too, if people in your group are talking and opening, they gain value, and your group gains their value by association. Social proof.
People often ask if it looks bad when one set sees you talking to other girls. It doesn’t, fact is it looks good, especially if you’re doing kino appropriately and engaging them. You want to be seen as the most sociable guy in the room. Talk to guys, talk to girls, talk to bartenders, bouncers, everyone. The more people see you talking, the more receptive they are to talking to you and the more normal and fun you seem.
For example, Hired Gun game (servers, wait staff, bartenders) is something I’ve always been nervous about. (They’re basically paid to flirt so I can never quite gauge how genuine their body language is.) At our first game day (field report here http://www.puaforums.com/pick-up-fie...html#post62607 ) with the Minneapolis group I had mad social proof going on. For 2 hours this HB 9.5 was serving us while I was training guys on how to talk to girls in a private area (leader of men). Afterwards she kept finding me to get me a drink, every time she came up to me I was in another set. She served me while I was talking with 3 different groups of girls. I would stop and tease her a bit, then continue talking with the girls. When I left I went direct and said I need to get your number before I go.
Had a few great dates with her. I remember her saying once “You know I never give my number out at work, but, I don’t know, you seemed… normal”.
It was interesting to me that that’s the way she remembered the interaction. She remembered random things. What I drank, etc, but the fact that I was talking to many different girls throughout the night didn’t give any impression aside from the fact that I was a normal social guy. (Social proof generally works at subconscious levels)
So: How do you build proof?
Guys, are just ugly girls. Open them too. I use this as practice a lot when I’m starting my approaches.
I can look back to the best nights I’ve had and almost every one I can tell you I started talking to people from the moment I walked in the door. Talk to the first people you see as you walk in. It can be an opener, or it can be a simple “Hey how’s it going?” then cheers them with your drink. The more people you talk to the more normal it seems and the more proof you get.
Also – the more people you talk to the easier it is to open the ones you want. But that’s another topic entirely, this thread is just about building social proof and the importance.
Takeaways – talk to everyone, and make sure your group is having fun.