Outcome Dependency - My Thoughts
Lads, recently I had a little block in my progress which hindered me from October to November, there are other factors but that's irrelevant in what I'm going to talk about. During this block I was constantly feeling down about what I was doing and that I felt like I was getting absolutely nowhere. I sat down with my best friend, who is an AFC but is in a LTR with his girlfriend and feels there is no need to game and he said my problem was that I wasn't throwing myself into the deep end and not putting myself on the line.
So I sat down, ran through my contacts of all the n-closes I made in the past when I was starting off in the summer. Found one which was a HB7, redhead and has that overall sexiness for nothing being the best looking. I had also came to the realisation that my friends (apart from the few) I made in the first year of University in my AFC days where bringing me down and where causing me to slowly revert into what I was. So I texted this sexy redhead, threw myself in the deep end and ran my text game. Got a date with her. My first date since September and this was in mid-October.
Went on the date with her, flirted with her, we had fun. Didn't kiss close but it was good none the less. Halloween was approaching and I had already committed to this party with my lame friends. Hours before the party I contacted the HB7 and I got her to come to this party with little effort. When I walked in with her holding hands, most of the people where confused and shocked that I had brought a sexy outsider to the party.
At the party me and her where talking a lot and we where really building the connection. I left early with her and f-closed her at mine. Speculation grew that I was getting laid and got texts from my best friends saying well done. I return to the party and there was a divide. A division between admirers and haters.
Now that I'm dropping the haters and most of my friends all together in search of new and better people I felt a lot better but there was still a chip on my shoulder and I came to a startling realization. The one thing that was stopping my ability to close or even approach sometimes was my OUTCOME DEPENDENCY.
I had become so used to success that when I was not doing well I had unconsciously hypnotized myself into feeling worse than I actually should. I had also become complacent without even achieving much this again is linked to OUTCOME DEPENDENCY. I thought to myself and met a wing who took me out during November and now I feel as though I'm back on track (let's just say that whole period was a mental injury).
I just went out with little to no expectation of anything. My goal was just to approach like I did before and if things where working well I would push myself an extra 20% further (something I took from Neil Strauss). I also watched seminars of RSD with Tyler discussing OUTCOME DEPENDENCY and how to go out and just have fun no matter what. I felt more at ease and even better than when I had that f-close.
Now I didn't write this so I can babble or brag about how awesome I am, I wrote this to warn aspiring PUAs and even people who are gaining experience not to fall into this trap. Become more consciously aware of what is happening. Don't let a few flakes get you or a couple bad nights like I did and have to go the long way around to get over it. Just approach and know your material. Don't worry about not remembering it because it will come to you.
Remember it's all just a game. Every time you get rejected think of it metaphorically as when you would die in a game like Call of Duty, you can just start again, nothing bad will happen. Get out there, be more successful but don't rely on success.
I am TheManSohan and you're not. Thanks for reading this thread and I wish everyone luck in getting some but we all know we don't need it
I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand - The proverb of a true activist.
I'm not driven by fear, I'm driven by Danger