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Thread: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

  1. #1
    MDPP2011 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    Back in August, I met this girl in grad school. I found her fairly attractive but she looked like a really good study partner. So we basically ended up studying all the time together. The more I hung out with her, the more I started to become interested. I figured that I would like to ask her on a date (this was about 6 weeks ago). We go out for dinner and had a great time. I told her that I felt like watching a movie, so she invited me back to her place and we rented a movie on the computer. Towards the middle of the movie (and this movie was absolutely awful to the point we were just laughing at how badly it was made) I put my arm around her and she kinda just fell into my arms.

    I turn to kiss her and we kiss for a brief few seconds. She said, "No, we can't do this.. I knew this was going to end up happening" I asked her why and she said because she did not want to do anything with another guy for a while. She apparently hooked up with this other guy from our school and he hooked up with a couple of girls right after her. Problem is, our school is very small and things tend to spread very quickly. She said she made a really bad mistake and wished that she did it with me instead. We cuddled for like 3 hours after that and she kept on complimenting me on how good of a cuddler I was. She also said that she likes me and feels really bad but for herself she doesn't want to do anything with a guy for a while.

    The next night, she asks me to come over and study. We end up watching another movie afterwards but this time it is in her bed. We then start making out and she's like "No we can't".. but then we just keep on continuing and she asks me to stay the night. We basically just did fore play and she layed naked in bed with me until morning. She said that she was super horny, etc. and I tried having sex but she was tough and said "no I can't, remember what I said last night?" Then I was like fine whatever and turned to the other side and closed my eyes. Shes like your not going to sleep are you? really? She went in to start kissing again and I just kind of turned her down and was like No, I am going to bed. I guess it was my persistance that got me even this far. In the morning we started making out again but when it started to escalate she then, not kicked me out, but told me she had stuff to do and she didn't want any of her neighbors knowing that I was here all night so opened the door and made sure the coast was clear for me to leave without being noticed by anyone. She was also kind of freaking out telling me not to tell anyone about what happened.

    4 weeks later we go to this bar that alot of the grad students go to but we went separately. She wanted to go together but I told her I was going with some of my guy friends and was planning on leaving earlier than when she wanted to leave. So we met up there and got a little jealous that I was talking to an old friend from my home state that I happened to see. She then left and I was texting her to try and find her. She said she left to another bar... I got kind of mad and ignored her. She kept calling like 4 times. I finally picked up and told her that I went back home but was mad she left without telling me... and then she felt bad and took a cab back home (she lives very close to me). She forgot her keys and ended up at my place. She went to use my bathroom and used my Listerine. She layed on my bed so I went in to kiss her and she backed away. I then went in again and she backed away. She said listen you are too agressive and what happened before cant happen again, Im really sorry. I was very sad when she said that to me because I didn't even feel that agressive at all and then i walked her back. She then told me how she got out of a really long relationship as well.

    Yesterday, a few weeks after that. We started talking about past relationships in the car. I finally just told her hey listen I guess that thing that happened between us a couple months ago shouldnt have happened. She seemed really sad and she said no I think it should have happened. Then I asked her if she was interested in me and she said no very hesitantly. It almost seemed like she didn't know what to say or she didn't want to say it. I DONT GET THIS GIRL. I then asked her so it would be okay if I started dating another girl? She said yes, if you like someone else you should move on. That night, she texted me saying that it wasn't "easy" for her to say that to me. She can't study without me she is always calling me and texting me. She say's she finds me attractive but she is not interested?? What is going on? I really like her and I don't know how to get her. Is it over? If someone please give me some suggestions on what my next step would be that would be great. Thank you.

  2. #2
    YOKiTran's Avatar
    YOKiTran is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    it'd be cool if ur story was shorter - i want to, help, but that's a novel man.!

    just basic advice is to ask her out with high energy and humor.

    GL

  3. #3
    tigerstyledragonstyle is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    wow this is quite the story

    I think what happened was you were too aggressive in the beginning; and by aggressive I mean too obvious that you wanted her. You seemed really close to having sex on many occasions, and everytime it was her that stopped it from escalating. What would have been better is to tease her, play hard to get, and ramp up the sexual Tension. Basically turn it around so it's her pursuing you and trying to get YOU to bed.

    Situation seems more complex now that you've discussed your feelings. I feel that she likes you and is very comfortable with you, but because you shown all your card, she doesn't feel that gut level attraction. Best thing to do is to get away from her, start dating other girls and living you life; ironically this will give you the best shot at her in the future should you want that

  4. #4
    MDPP2011 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    the weirdest thing happened. She texted me and said she now maybe she wants something physical. She came over last night and we were making out then she stopped and said i cant. Shes such a tease! Now she says sometimes I want you and sometimes i dont. After questioning it she says its because I am white and she is Indian and her parents wouldnt want that and she only pictures herself with an indian. Long story short, i have begun to ignore her and now she is messaging me "You are ignoring me!!!!!!!!" "I know u saw my text"... what do i say back to that?

  5. #5
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    head case... stay away from girls who can't manage their sh*t.

    if ur just in it for the F... play on.

    her parents will hinder u greatly if u want more.

    cheers

  6. #6
    MDPP2011 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    no we both do not want to be dating right now... i just want to f***** but don't know how to proceed from here. she is asking me thru fb message why im ignoring her but dont know what to say. i dont know what to do or say to get her back in that horny state.

  7. #7
    Vicodin24's Avatar
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    Drop her for your own benefit. If you think this is bad, wait until you do have sex with her. You've got yourself an indecisive clinger, my friend.
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  8. #8
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    she isn't crazy, she just doesn't like being ignored. no one likes being ignored, if you ignore her too long she'll move on to the next guy, my advice is that the next time you make out with her you need to be the one to "slow things down" by giving her LMR you will be the one in control.
    when you slow things down, you need to just stop everything at once, that means no Kino as well as no kissing for a short period of time. then if she trys to make out again pull away and then kiss her playfully and then disengage again.
    every time you disengage say things like "i don't think we're ready for this" or "i just want to take things slow tonight" and after you sleep with her you can even with-hold sex to keep her pursuing it using a line like "i'm too tired to have sex tonight" or "i'm not horny enough for sex right now"

    make sure you're the one in control and keep playing hard to get.

  9. #9
    YOKiTran's Avatar
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    lmao... ok, cool

    well, since the ball is in ur court....

    i honestly dunno for u... i normally just have them come over to chill - which is an excuse to sex.

    ask if she cooks or likes Aladdin.? JK abt Aladdin.... lolz

    find an excuse
    because she is so paranoid, let her know u want to take it slow and chill.
    so maybe a cool movie/non XXX activity would do.
    when she comes over - light Kino...
    then escalate.
    be bold, but respect her if she wants to stop

    Mystery/Neil recommend that u freeze her out till she relents from the silence and Fs

    dunno what i would do, because i haven't dealt with a girl who says no when she's come over my place.

    hope this helps.

  10. #10
    MDPP2011 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What went wrong? Can I fix it?

    lol thing is is that she said to me that she made her final decision not to do anymore physical things with me. she told me this yesterday. quite frankly i have been busy plus she just played me and told me straight up that because im not Indian I'm basically not good enuf for her. Then she said she was crying and i said its ok i understand. it has been a few hours since she texted me and she is already biatching that i haven't texted her back.


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