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  • 1 Post By Big Shawn
  • 2 Post By BatMan

Thread: Is anyone sitting here?

  1. #1
    Sense is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Cool Is anyone sitting here?

    Though it bypasses the need for any stock opener, has anyone ever tried the following?

    Notice a girl sitting at a table alone.
    Approach and ask if one of the seats is taken.
    If response is No, sit in it.
    Explain that you're avoiding someone and will be gone shortly.
    Begin day game or just proceed with typical conversation.
    After an n-close seems likely, use the opportunity to get up as if to go and use any n-close strategy to secure the number; perhaps turning "you owing her one" for the help into coffee.

  2. #2
    Big Shawn is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is anyone sitting here?

    I do this exact same thing except I find direct openers work much better in this type of situation

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Is anyone sitting here? Opener

    From personal experience, this is one of the single worst ways to open a girl unless she has given you obvious IOIs before you even approach (even then I wouldn't use it).

    The reason this is such a terrible opener is that right from the get go you give her all the power. You'll run into this more than you're going to like:

    You: "Is this seat taken?"
    Her: "Yes. Get the fark out of here." (probably a bit toned down)

    A confident guy isn't going to ask for permission to sit down. She doesn't own the farking chair. If you ask her if you can sit is shows you lack confidence and gives her the opportunity to shut you down before the conversation even begins. If you want to use this opener, try this variation.

    You: Walk up and sit in the chair and then ask, "Is there anyone sitting here?" with a mischievous smile on your face. This will lead to two responses:

    Her (Response A): "No."
    You: Your in the clear to run your game.

    Her (Response B): "Yes. My friend/boyfriend is sitting there."
    You: "That's fine, I have to leave in a minute anyways."

    This alteration is a much better approach to this opener since you don't really give her any power, but I still don't like asking for permission to be there.

    But trust me, your idea of asking before sitting is beta. She is living in your reality, not the other way around

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Is anyone sitting here?

    Thanks TheDuke. I had realized it involved sacrificing power but you put an awesome spin on it. Still getting over some aa after being in a relationship for many years, so my openers are significantly indirect. I will overcome! Thanks for the help.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Is anyone sitting here?

    TheDuke has a point. But walking up and just sitting in a strangers seat would freak her out rather than see this guy as confident. UNLESS...you are direct with your interest. Going up to her, intruding her personal space, and just sitting down with the claim that you are hiding from someone is just plain freaky.

    If you were to sit down without permission then you MUST be open with your interest in her from the start. Women are approached COUNTLESS times and almost none are DIRECT. They are always trying to be sneaky about "Oh what's good here?" and "Hey do you like to drink water?" (embellished, but you get the point.) It's actually rare for a guy to just be confident, approach her and say "I just had to come talk to you. Otherwise I'd kick myself for the rest of the day."

    This is why it is highly advised that Direct Game be used during the day where indirect is more for night game. Even though you can interchange sometimes, it's still the recommended route.

    P.S. Never leave immediately after the phone number. Men feel like they should leave because they need to "lock in" what they have built with a woman, but all it does is make them feel like it was a pickup. Always stay at least 5 min after getting the number.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Is anyone sitting here?

    Sounds like a good opener to me, I'd make sure to sell the whole trying to hide from someone thing at first.


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