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  • 2 Post By BatMan
  • 1 Post By Vicodin24

Thread: calling a girl out, help.

  1. #1
    Kzo
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    Default calling a girl out, help.

    This girl hits me up and makes plans then gets too drunk and flakes out.

    So Tomorrow I am about to call her out and say "why are you so flakey?" good move or bad move guys? im sick of this her shit..

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: calling a girl out, help.

    Look at it this way. If you are cool about everything, then whenever she realizes that she doesn't/can't see you, it's ok, because she knows you'll be cool with it. So she's gonna go see the guy she knows would walk away and call her on her shit because she doesn't want to screw things up with him. You then become the solid backup plan instead of first priority.

    However, if you call her on her shit, she will feel like you are trying to control her. Also she will feel that you are too much drama when she just wants to have fun. You then become a buzz kill and she will drop you.

    Here's a little secret. The secret is to ONLY state your standards and expectations. Why? Because you aren't telling her what to do and you aren't letting her get away with it. You simply say, "I like a woman who is straight forward and consistent with what she says. When a woman lies or flakes it is just such a turn off." Most women like being attractive. Telling her she turned you off devalidates her attractiveness and it will hit her hard.

    Now make no mistake. DO NOT expect her to just apologize and kiss your ass. You did just say she was unattractive after all. She will get angry and defensive most likely. But it doesn't matter. You simply say what you have to say, then walk away. NEVER argue or try to convince her you're right. A man of value already knows he's right.

    She will then think about what she's done and become more attracted to you and will respect you. Because you didn't try to control her and you didn't let her walk all over you. How long this takes isn't definite. Could be a day or a week. And this also doesn't guarantee she will come around either. You may lose her and you have to be prepared for that. Take it as a favor if she never came back. But if she does, she WILL try harder and be more careful about making you upset again because you are a man of value that doesn't put up with that behavior.

    This was a bit wordy but I hope this helped. Good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: calling a girl out, help.

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Look at it this way. If you are cool about everything, then whenever she realizes that she doesn't/can't see you, it's ok, because she knows you'll be cool with it. So she's gonna go see the guy she knows would walk away and call her on her sh1t because she doesn't want to screw things up with him. You then become the solid backup plan instead of first priority.
    Exactly! Reminds me of my AFC days. I can understand wanting to be nice and avoiding a potentially "dangerous" confrontation, but you can't let her walk all over you in a sense. Along the same lines of always being available - you don't want to give off that impression.



    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Here's a little secret. The secret is to ONLY state your standards and expectations. Why? Because you aren't telling her what to do and you aren't letting her get away with it. You simply say, "I like a woman who is straight forward and consistent with what she says. When a woman lies or flakes it is just such a turn off." Most women like being attractive. Telling her she turned you off devalidates her attractiveness and it will hit her hard.

    Well said - subtlety is the way to go in situations like this. I'd recommend starting a casual conversation with her and leading into this topic. You can you have a friend that does that or to play it even safer - a friend of yours is dealing with that and you agree, blah blah blah. I think you get the point.
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  4. #4
    Kzo
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    Default Re: calling a girl out, help.

    Wow that response was perfect ha just what I was looking for. Turns out she lost her phone last night and wants to hang out tonight. But we'll see.


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