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Thread: So I friendzoned a girl...

  1. #1
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default So I friendzoned a girl...

    Hello everyone,

    A background here. Met this chic in school 2 years ago and we became good friends. She was in a 3 1/2 year relationship that ended badly in 2010 so she was a year single when she met me. As time went on we realized that we had feelings for each other. We dated a bit for the first few months of 2012 but then as time progressed she became flaky. She did admit to me that she has feelings for me but is not ready for a relationship and want to take things a bit slow (expected as she's still feeling a bit from her previous relationship). After telling me this, her flakiness and unreliability increased with the classic "i'm really BUSY with bla bla bla" excuses. I freezed her a few times but when we do meet, she's all excited to see me but still with the flakiness. I started to feel more like an option... no attention, no appreciation, no interest to meet with me so i friend-zoned her over the holidays. She agrees to be friends with me.

    We haven't spoken for weeks and we would be having classes Saturday for the 1st time. My question is, what should i expect from her? She might be cold with me? pretend nothing is wrong? try to get me jealous? try to get attention from me again to blow me off when i show it?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    She will try to get attention, you need to act like nothing is wrong, be alpha and unaffected

    Read this
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...html#post66071
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    Hello Red Baron, has been a few months,

    Thank you for the articles. Inner Confidence i have to re-read a bit so i can prepare when meeting her again. Since is the first time i am in a situation like this, i know it would take some balls.

    The disqualify Guide, i have to start incorporating that into my game more often because even though i do disqualifiers at first, i tend to "give in" a date or two later and not keep that aspect of the game up. I think it is here where men fall for girls too fast. Little things that would normally irk you, you let it slide because she's interested in you until it turns big and bad.

    The good thing was i did call her on her BS during the holidays and friend-zoned her so that is a big Disqualifier for her there because normally, women are the ones that do the friendzoning. I expect some sort of "retaliation" such as you rightly said Red Baron, looking for attention. Besides the "inner-confidence wake up call" article, and since i would be in class with this chic for about 4 months, is there any other advice or pitfalls i should look out for?

    Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    She will try to get attention, you need to act like nothing is wrong, be alpha and unaffected

    Read this
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...html#post66071

  4. #4
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    I appreciate that you've read my stuff. Been focusing the past few months on pulling my core principles in to a book, less active here.

    Disqualifying itself is just a crutch, did you read my frame control? There are 2 posts, definitely read them both

    Ultimately, it comes down to you, are you going to pander to her and hope she let's something happen? Or are you selecting her to see if she's what you want

    That's the essence of frame control, you're the one that gets to choose, not her. If you let her lead, then she's the one who gets to decide when and if she wants to hang out, while you're the one always asking for her time.

    Calling a girl on her BS is "usually" good, depending on how you do it. Problem is most guys default to being a whiney AFC and complain about BS. It's hard to describe, but there's an alpha way to show your dissaproval, and a very beta way. You're not asking her to change, you're just telling her it's dissapointing.

    Just, stay in control, and be everything a girl would be interested in - that is, confident, funny, secure. If you need her attention for validation then you let her control you. Ignore the past BS, be unaffected, be alpha. Kino and play around as though you were generating interest for the first time ever.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  5. #5
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    I just found the articles on frame control, about to read them.

    No pandering for me. I admit there were times when control of the relationship tended to swing between me and her but i am glad i took control in the end and did what i had to do.

    I have a rule to myself that i wouldn't ask a woman out more than 3-4 times. I don't do it back to back but i'll ask once, then back down for a few weeks (freeze) and try again. If she keeps giving excuses and no effort to arrange anything, i move on.

    What are the alpha ways to show disapproval vs beta ways? Want to make sure i didn't go beta.


    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    I appreciate that you've read my stuff. Been focusing the past few months on pulling my core principles in to a book, less active here.

    Disqualifying itself is just a crutch, did you read my frame control? There are 2 posts, definitely read them both

    Ultimately, it comes down to you, are you going to pander to her and hope she let's something happen? Or are you selecting her to see if she's what you want

    That's the essence of frame control, you're the one that gets to choose, not her. If you let her lead, then she's the one who gets to decide when and if she wants to hang out, while you're the one always asking for her time.

    Calling a girl on her BS is "usually" good, depending on how you do it. Problem is most guys default to being a whiney AFC and complain about BS. It's hard to describe, but there's an alpha way to show your dissaproval, and a very beta way. You're not asking her to change, you're just telling her it's dissapointing.

    Just, stay in control, and be everything a girl would be interested in - that is, confident, funny, secure. If you need her attention for validation then you let her control you. Ignore the past BS, be unaffected, be alpha. Kino and play around as though you were generating interest for the first time ever.

  6. #6
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    Been focusing the past few months on pulling my core principles in to a book
    cant wait to read this when its done. id better get a copy of this man.
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  7. #7
    Mr West's Avatar
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    I'm going to check out those posts Red Baron. I think I'm in a position with a girl right now where these will come in handy. So far I have controlled the frame pretty well, but I dot want to slip up.
    -There's no future in your past

  8. #8
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    Good luck to all of you guys. Glad I can be of some assistance
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  9. #9
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    Yes Red Baron thank you. I'll keep updating this post. Let's see what happens tomorrow when i meet her. At least we can use this as some kinda case study for men who friendzoned women yet still interested in them.

  10. #10
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default Re: So I friendzoned a girl...

    Here's an update, she's keeping everything normal and friendly like nothing happened. Playing her game for now but she'll eventually notice that she's not getting the attention and good rapport that she used too.

    Meanwhile i'm checking out another chic.


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