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  • 2 Post By Blistex

Thread: Get out of your head!!

  1. #1
    CallofTheWildman's Avatar
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    Unhappy Get out of your head!!

    I'm stuck inside my own head too often when it comes to trying to talk to women, always looking for a response or weary of offending her. Any tips on how to stop thinking so much and just relax?

  2. #2
    bertozzi is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Get out of your head!!

    That problem is comum you have to be confident
    you should not think a lot, if you have problems to do that try drink some vodka
    that always do miracles to me when i talk with girls rsrs
    Good luck

  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Get out of your head!!

    Quote Originally Posted by bertozzi View Post
    That problem is comum you have to be confident
    you should not think a lot, if you have problems to do that try drink some vodka
    that always do miracles to me when i talk with girls rsrs
    Good luck
    He is right on having to be confident. Part of this whole thing is that you shouldn't need to drink to be able to have a good conversation with anyone. It is a skill you can learn, but don't use alcohol as a crutch that is terrible. Most of your conversations with women are going to be the nonverbal cues you give each other, as far as the actual verbal cues just listen to what she is saying. Every time you start to go into your head, or think about how beautiful she is or anything else besides her NV cues and what she is saying, snap your focus back to her words. I'm still working on this myself, but I believe that will help you more than anything.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  4. #4
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Get INTO your head

    Today, while listening to my Tyler Durden audio tapes, I learned something very interesting that I think your problem may be.

    I think there are two reasons to why you are uncomfortable with offending women.

    Reason #1

    You are too dependent on her.

    Right now, you are worried about saying the wrong thing just because you think you will lose her. The easiest way for you to relax is to just kick it back and try to let the woman convince you that she's your kind of girl. The first time I ever screwed up a pickup, I got really hot in the head from embarrassment and the thought that I did something wrong. And then a thought went through my head:

    "Oh yea, there's billions of more fish in the sea. Why does one girl matter?"

    Immediately after that, I felt all better. In fact, I felt even better than better, I felt like I had learned something productive that would help me with my future approaches.

    Reason #2

    You don't know yourself

    This is some deep, Lion King type stuff right here, and it is exactly like the movie too. Can you answer these questions immediately?

    * What kind of woman are you looking for?
    * What kind of guy are you?
    * What are your beliefs?
    * What are your strengths? Your faults?
    * What do you want out of life?

    And most importantly:

    * WHO ARE YOU?

    Most guys lack naturality and confidence because they don't know themselves. We end up charging headfirst into battle without knowing who or what we are fighting for in the first place. Before you go into any situation, know what kind of person you are, and know what kind of person you are looking for in the first place. It will help you out with approaches and make you more confident when it comes to conversing with women.

    As you can see above, the problem is not trying to get outside of your head. The problem is getting INSIDE of your head to change it. Do that, and things will become way easier for you.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  5. #5
    CallofTheWildman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get out of your head!!

    Thanks I appreciate all the help and definitely think it will be useful. I agree and just think I need to become more confident, but of course I'm smart enough to know this won't happen overnight


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