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  1. #1
    genheals is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with the basics and a cute girl

    Hello all,

    I think I should start this post off by describing myself. I am a college student at a large campus(30000+). I am a tall (6'4") rugby player with a light tan skin tone, dark brown hair, hazelnut eyes and I am visibly muscular (210 lbs.). I have no acne or glasses. I have been working proactively over the last several years to hone my appearance with success.

    I have only hooked up with two girls so far at college. I got a lot of ridicule from my friends for both hookups; the girls were no better than 3's. My friends keep telling me that I need to aim higher, much higher. They tell me that girls I consider in my league believe that they are out of my league, which surprises me. However, I am starting to believe this because a girl I consider a perfect 10 (a really cute and nice blonde) just started talking to me, with no initial motivation from me. I am posting here because I really do not want to lose this opportunity.

    Here is the problem. I straight up cannot talk to girls. I have Approach Anxiety and constantly find myself at a loss for words. About 80% of the girls I pass on the way to class stare at me, and about half of them smile at me. I believe I have the physical look down, now I need the mental agility. I need some serious help on the basics; where to approach girls, when to talk them, how to talk them, etc...Please help me with this cute blonde.

    Thank you for any help.

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with the basics and a cute girl

    Expect and relish failure.

    Calibrate. If you want no strings attached sex target slutty girls, if you want a GF be a bit more charming and build trust.

    Next time you see this hot girl. Dont worry if you stuff it up. You will a) have already shown her confidence simply by approaching b) she's a chick and alreadys knows most guys talk rubbish anyway, is possibly more emotionally and mentally mature than you (probably even dated older guys than you if shes hot), she might still go for you irrelevent of what you say if she thinks you're cute c) if you do fail she will give you experience for the next girl (so you are already winning for the long term), or at least you made a friend/connection etc...someone to say hello to next time around campus. But ultimately you want her lips wrapped around your cawk so strike while the irons hot.

    Don't worry whether you stuff it up or not, be yourself. By thinking about not wanting to stuff it up you have already placed her on some mythical pedestal. She's just a chick.

    Friends can be a huge hinderence to pickup if you're not good at talking. Ignore them.

    Actually most girls dont care what you talk about as long as you talk about something with authority, are confident and hopefully funny. Talk about rugby, working out anything. Just be proud of yourself and add some humoress shine. Talk about what you know and make the rest up. Make up random crazy facts 'Yeah I play rugby, 50 million people play it in NZ alone '. Anything to get a laugh. If you are lost for words keep conversations short. Chat to a girl and know that you are going to pull away and leave her (time constraint). 'Blah blah blah neon pink handbag huh? blah blah blah Im fly half...what a name for a position hey? fly half, what does that even mean? Could be an interesting sexual position...hmm...hey oops I gotta go, nice meeting you, oh let me get your number in my phone...R>>A>>C>>H>> E>>L ok and your number?'

    Then after you can build attraction with more strategy via text or whatever.

    If she teases you tease her back. Girls don't like an easy chase, thats no fun! Say hi to her, chat about anything with 100% conviction and without a care in the world of whether she is interested or not. Get her details no matter what. Send her a text later 'hey stupid, (hey ugly, whatever), stop doing your hair and come out for a drink'.

    Talk to as many women as you can to see what works and doesnt work and keep a few in the pipeline so you dont focus on one in particular too much. Talk to anyone even if you dont plan on asking them out. You'll gain valuable feedback from them about what they like to talk about. Half the time Im picking up girls Im using exactly what they talk about themselves but in a masculine way. The basics all come back to practice. You can't think about talking to lots of girls you have to actually talk. Everyone gets anxiety. Get over it and make it happen. Ask the hottest girls out. Talk to them anywhere, anytime and about anything. Just be fun. Also learn guitar.

  3. #3
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with the basics and a cute girl

    Gen,

    The best thing I can tell you is first of all. Before you do anything, you need to work on your innergame and you need to overcome that aa. AA will not make you look attractive. You overcome that fear by repetition. So start approaching women just to make small talk. In my stunt analogy, when I first did high falls, the drop was intimidating and I was among many who hesitated. But after you keep doing it, the psychological hump became lessened and from there you can work on hitting your marks. The art of approach is the same way.

    We can give you tons of advice on what to do and what to say, but in truth it won't matter if your head is not where it's suppose to be and your confidence is questioned. Confidence, the ability to be calm cool collected and comfortable in all your surroundings, is the cornerstone of seduction.

    You've probably heard the term, "Where the head goes, the body follows." Well, the innergame is the same way. "Where your mind is, your words will follow." So if you're confidence is not all together, your words will reflect that and so will your behavior.

    Your eye contact will be weak and what will happen if the girl does a Sh1t Test on you? If your confidence is worn thin, you will break and fail.

    So get out there and start getting some batting practices in on all women. As for the HB10, expect failure because this is new territory for you.

    She might be physically attracted to you, but you will need to bring more to the table. Women can smell confidence like animal sensing fear. If you don't have the confidence to escalate with her, then she will lose that attraction and you will end up in the friendszone.

  4. #4
    laxbro93 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with the basics and a cute girl

    Don't worry about your friends... theyre just trying to hold you back man. you gotta step up your game. Just go for it one day...you know? Like be flirty man, grab her butt..hug her. Be upfront like nothing matters. As for your aa, ignore it. pretend youre talking to your sister. I'm going to send you a message so i can coach you further

  5. #5
    fleetersamuelli is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with the basics and a cute girl

    there is no way to get over your anxiety / weakness other than to go out and practice. Put yourself in social situations, go out to parties, talk to people. Talk to both girls and guys. Talk to old gramas. Just get used to talking to EVERYONE and so you will have no problems talking to ANYONE.


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