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Thread: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

  1. #31
    Flyboy86 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    I'd be lying if I said I have never sent a message like that. However...because of the disaster that ensued after I sent it I realized that I should never do that ever again. This is how the text looks to her.

    "Hey sorry, im not confident, im not comfortable with girls, i probably dont deserve you. I like you though...ALOT and i will for a long time. PPLLEEASSEE hang out with me some time please seriously. I really really like you...maybe too much. Im going out with my "friends" because im trying to prove I have some. goodnight...ill be thinking of you as i fall asleep...and our children we will have together"

    Sorry I got carried away there. Now I am not saying any of that is true. I bet you are a great dude worthy of a fine woman!! However that's how that text sounds to a girl in my opinion. Id say walk away and break contact for a good long while. What do you other guys think?

  2. #32
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyboy86 View Post
    I'd be lying if I said I have never sent a message like that. However...because of the disaster that ensued after I sent it I realized that I should never do that ever again. This is how the text looks to her.

    "Hey sorry, im not confident, im not comfortable with girls, i probably dont deserve you. I like you though...ALOT and i will for a long time. PPLLEEASSEE hang out with me some time please seriously. I really really like you...maybe too much. Im going out with my "friends" because im trying to prove I have some. goodnight...ill be thinking of you as i fall asleep...and our children we will have together"

    Sorry I got carried away there. Now I am not saying any of that is true. I bet you are a great dude worthy of a fine woman!! However that's how that text sounds to a girl in my opinion. Id say walk away and break contact for a good long while. What do you other guys think?
    HEY! You stole my message! (30+)
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #33
    NYkid90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    What do you think should have been a good alternative, then? I'm seriously lost at this point.

    So what do you suggest? Not text her for like a couple of weeks or something?

    Read through the whole thread, Duke. I would like to get your opinion on what I could have differently based on what I've said so far.

  4. #34
    Flyboy86 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    Duke you beat me by a minute!!! DANG IT! HA!

    Nykid yes she knows that you like her cause you asked her out. Thats fine! But saying all that stuff over text screams insecurity. You if you had enough confidence you could of walked up to her the day you met her and said:

    "hey, you are very cute, and I like your style. I dont just go out with any girl though, so come get sushi with me this weekend so I can find out more about you"

    And if you said that like a man and confidently you would be in a waaaay better spot than you are now.

    The problem is that you have been hinting at all of your feelings in such a shy way. You should have just manned up and told her that you think shes cool but leave her some room to prove her self to you. Or played indirect and been cocky funny in front of her and found out more without showing interest for a while. Then when she showed attraction pounce.

    You kind of tried to do both but with no backbone in either case. The good news is that you learned a ton from this. The bad news is that I think your chances with this girl are slim.

  5. #35
    Flyboy86 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    Also, just as a general rule. NEVER put that much emotion into a text. Its just not classy, it would be like texting someone that you love them...the first time you ever say it. That kind of stuff is best saved for when you are gazing into a girls eyes. Even then it should be said with confidence and matter of factly not in an apologetic weak way. Remember YOU are the prize to be won!!

    Don't let what we are telling you get you down. You are just learning! Just heed the advice.

  6. #36
    NYkid90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    Well, I did ask her out in a confident tone and she had said okay.

    So, where do I go from here? Don't text her for a while and only talk to her after class at most?

  7. #37
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    Quote Originally Posted by NYkid90 View Post
    What do you think should have been a good alternative, then? I'm seriously lost at this point.

    So what do you suggest? Not text her for like a couple of weeks or something?

    Read through the whole thread, Duke. I would like to get your opinion on what I could have differently based on what I've said so far.
    I have been reading this thread since it started and Vicodin gave you great advice the whole way through. You just chose to ignore it and do your own thing. What could you have done differently?

    You could have done as Vicodin said and teased her about missing out on some great sushi. You could have manned up and asked her out on another date. You could have just cut the conversation off before it got too serious and let things move a little slower.

    Literally, you could have done any number of things that are exponentially better than what you did. You let your emotions get the best of you and then you dumped them on her. Never, EVER, a good move. I hate when people give out good advice on this site, the person doesn't listen, and then they want to know what they could have done better.

    By the way, I'm not faulting you for this completely. I've let my emotions get the better of me many times in the past and they still occassionally do. This was a learning experience, but you've screwed the pooch on this one. She may talk to you if she's nice and wants to be polite, but don't get surprised if things get really awkward in class.

    Live and let learn.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  8. #38
    NYkid90 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    But here's the thing, she wasn't responding to the type of texts that Vicodin said to use. Heck, she didn't even respond to the sassy-pants text I sent her and claimed she supposedly didn't get it. And earlier, I sent her "Are you still in class, or not?" and she didn't respond to that either.

    I honestly think this was the worst possible girl to have a crush on. She's ridiculously shy and a bit awkward. I thought by sending that text it could make things less awkward for her and wouldn't interpret it as major AFC (heck, with her thinking she might not), like more outspoken women would. I obviously wouldn't have sent that text if I didn't think there was another alternative.

  9. #39
    Flyboy86 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    If it is a girl you see all the time like this I would keep texts to a minimum! IMO if i see her on a daily or almost daily basis i would just game her in person. When you see someone that often and you text them like that it conveys that you are thinking about them outside of class all the time. You asked her out so yes she knows you like her, but she didnt know you were obsessing over her until you texted her outside of class.

    Now im not saying that text game is bad. I am just saying its better used in other situations (ex: get a girls number at the club. You met a girl you wont see again for a month. etc.) Heck make a phone call. You know how many guys are too scared to call a girl they barely know on the phone?!?!! ALOT! By you calling instead of being that texting guy you are already demonstrating higher value.

    In this particular situation though I would not have texted her outside of class except for the one text asking about the book. Then I would have gotten her reply and either just sent back thx, or not replied back at all making her think...why didnt he respond. Anyways im no expert, just my opinion

    P.S. theDUKE your signature like quote is literally listed in my quotes in FB. Love that movie, then again who doesn't

  10. #40
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    Default Re: How to ask out this girl in my Italian class

    If you think that the problem is she's shy and awkward then you should have called her out on being shy and awkward. Calling women out on their behavior and mannerisms is literally one of the best ways to deal with any type of women. Especially difficult to manage women.

    Think about the concept of mirroring body language (I don't mean mirroring to build rapport, but mirroring to tease). It's basically calling a girl out on her body language and it works wonders. One of my favorite things to do when a woman has her arms crossed is totally call her out on it. Then, when she says that it's just comfortable or whatever, I give the whole, "Well I bet you didn't know this, but most people think that body language is a reflection of your mood, but it actually works both ways" speech.

    My point is this, don't change who you are for the woman, just change how you approach the woman. Never go AFC because a woman is acting a certain way.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."


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