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  1. #1
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Slow Dancing Pickup

    Being a college student, there are many opportunities to get out and involved on campus. Coming up this weekend is a huge dance for the college, and you know what will be there: FOOD. That, and women, some of which will even be single. And besides trying to grind on the women or dance weirdly next to them, there is that one special moment in every dance where you and that lucky lady get locked away into another world.

    This is the world of the slow dance.

    In the past, I never gave a second thought to the potential of being able to pick up women while slow dancing. Now, I see that my past actions while slow dancing have been relatively poor. I believe that now having been on my quest to becoming a PUA, I have some real potential to create something special during a slow dance.

    While looking through these forums, I unfortunately discovered that no one has covered the topic of slow dancing. I know that even out of college it can remain a big thing at dinners, parties, and the sorts. Thus, to help the community out, I will share my research and newly created strategy into picking up women while slow dancing.

    ++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++

    * The Approach

    This method for asking a lady to slow dance comes from a combination of the Mystery Method and Tyler Durden's confidence showing. At the immediate moment a slow song starts, you should promptly pick out the girl you are going to dance with and approach her. The longer you delay, the less time you have to initiate any real conversation with her.

    As you approach, do not look like a puppy about to wet all over the floor. Be a man, stride to her with confidence. Although women may find a shy guy cute, they will immediate think of them less if they approach without any confidence. A strong showing immediately raises a girl's respect for you.

    I see no real need to try and get her to dance with a canned opener. Maybe something like this can be used:

    "I think you may be worthy of a dance"

    This is a bit playful and good, but a simple "would you like to dance?" is more than good enough.

    If you are not on the dance floor, you should escort her out there smoothly and slowly. Hold her hand in yours as you both walk out to where the two of you will dance.

    * Dancing

    When you begin dancing with her, make sure that you are in the best of posture as possible. This means standing up straight and radiating a positive energy from yourself. You should also not fight with the music. Move smoothly and follow the beat of things.

    Although I typically see men put their hands on a woman's hips, I do not like this. To me, it restricts your movements and makes you practically trapped in a box. This kind of claustrophobia can cause not only her but you as well to try seek some sort of space through avoiding eye contact.

    This hand placement is good though if you are looking for a sense of Isolation. If you are able to maintain a good conversation with her and then kiss close, hands on the hips is a perfect position.

    Me, personally? I prefer the waltz placement. One hand in hers and the other around the upper part of her back. This creates a greater feeling of openness. Not only that, it helps to increase movement, so then you can do some of the funner slow dance moves, like twirls and drops. Not only that, if she wants to get closer to you and rest her head on your chest, she can.

    There are more perks to this hand placement. The waltz hand placement is way out of the ordinary, and will already catch her interest at you doing it. This placement is also seemingly romantic and puts off the air that you are someone of a more sophisticated, James Bond type man.

    If the lady you are dancing with is your girlfriend, you can also stand behind her and wrap your arms around her. Either that, or you can hug and dance. Both of these positions increase intimacy and creates a feeling of embrace, warmness, and protection.

    * Conversation

    Here comes the biggest part. As you're dancing with her, try to entertain her and catch her interest. You should always try to avoid the generic topics like these:

    # "How's your night?"

    # "What's your name?"

    The questions you ask should be able to spark a conversation that not only entertains you, but entertains her as well. Go outside of the box and get her really engaged, draw out things from her and make her really interested in you.

    While you are talking, you could also drop an occasional neg or dhv (I recommend the neg more). Flirting is also highly recommended. It's an intimate moment, make it so. I started reading "Conquering Your Campus" recently, and I found a great set in there that I plan on applying to this situation with my own twists. It goes like this:

    Me: Well, you seem to have passed two of my three tests.
    Her: What tests?
    Me: Well, the first one was on being attractive, and you passed that, and the second one was being interesting in a first conversation, and you passed that too.
    Her: What's the third one?
    Me: That's for me to know and for you to try and find out.

    This has the effect of creating a sense of curiosity and incomplete information inside of her. She wants to figure out what the third test is, and she will stick around a bit longer to see if it is worth it or not to figure out what that third test is.

    * Endgame

    Endgame here can mean one of three things. This can either be a kiss close, further action after the end of the song, or a phone pickup.

    If things seem intimate enough between the two of you while dancing, you can go in for first base. Do not hesitate while doing it. Most girls at that point would expect a kiss, but usually don't get it because the men are too shy. Remember, you are a man, and men don't get anything through being a chicken.

    If she takes you with her after the song is over and you go aside to chat, make sure you keep the conversation interesting. Try to let her work to get you, but don't make it so that you are giving her boring responses. If you know any tricks or games, use them on her to build rapport and interest.

    If she ends up going away for any reason and telling you that she will be back, DO NOT wait for her. Instead, you can get up and get some water, chat with friends, go to the bathroom, do whatever. Try to stay within close range of where you were before though. Don't make it a quest for her to find you, or otherwise she will just give up. Doing this will show that you are not dependent on her, and that if she wants you she will have to work at it.

    If it ends up that the two of you depart, use a Number Close on her. Tell her "Hey, I would love to talk to you more", and she will usually give you her number. If the night went really well, you could even ask her if she wanted to get coffee or brunch the next day. When you text her the next day, try to make it a memorable impression. Send her something that is funny, engaging, and relates to the events of the night before.

    ++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++

    I maintain a thorough philosophy that you should be prepared for any situation or environment. This is one of the biggest reasons I decided to learn how to successfully pick up women, simply because I was unprepared when it came about to doing this. After writing this, I now feel more confident and more positive about the road I am heading down. I am heading towards a newer and better me, and this me I could get to like very much.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  2. #2
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Slow Dancing Pickup

    Great tips. If I'm ever at a place where there is slow dancing, I'll be sure to implement these. My only question is what would you recommend as a text the next day? Something about your or her dancing skills? about the conversation you may have had?

  3. #3
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Slow Dancing Pickup

    Quote Originally Posted by scguitar View Post
    Great tips. If I'm ever at a place where there is slow dancing, I'll be sure to implement these.
    Thanks! I'm glad you found some use out of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by scguitar View Post
    My only question is what would you recommend as a text the next day? Something about your or her dancing skills? about the conversation you may have had?
    Good question. Your first text should always be in relation to the events of the night before. You could say something about her dancing, or a memorable conversation the two of you had. Sometimes, a simple "Hey there" for a start can do more than the trick. It's a matter of what seems the most comfortable for you.

    Here's an example of what I aim thinking and aiming for:

    "Hey there, how's the morning treating ya?"

    Of course this would be most effective if somewhere in the conversation she complained about having bad hair problems in the morning or she wasn't a morning person, but it still is nice, out of the ordinary way of asking, simple question.

    The most important thing is that you leave a lasting impression on her with that first text. Don't be boring, but then again don't send her a first message that is way over the roof. Try to aim for a happy medium.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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