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Thread: Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

  1. #1
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    We see new threads started on this forum on a daily basis, each of which goes something like this:

    "So I met this girl, and I talked to her for X and then she told me her name. At the end we said goodbye and now I want to know if she's interested."

    IMO this is such a ridiculous question to ask on so many levels that I felt the need to write a rant/answer to this question. But why is this such a ridiculous question you ask? Well it's ridiculous for several reasons that I want to address here.

    You know her, we don't!
    Telling whether a girl is interested or not is highly dependent upon her body language and her non-verbal cues. These are the things you are going to pick up that those of us on the forum cannot pick up. You are the best judge of whether she is interested and asking the forum serves no purpose other than to validate your own feelings. This brings me to my next point...

    It doesn't matter if she's interested!
    Honestly, if you come on here and ask if she's interested, it's likely because you are interested. So what does it matter if she's interested? The moment you are interested the game is on. If she's not initially interested your job is to make her interested, and if she is already interested then you've already won a small battle.

    But more importantly than this, if you're not sure if she's interested are you just going to give up and walk away? If I tell you that she's not interested, are you going to go sulk in the corner and not take any initiative to find out for yourself? Well you will if you're a beta bitch, but not if you're a real man.

    The point is, it doesn't matter if she's interested. You should have the attitude that every woman is interested, and if they aren't interested right now they will be after they've spent some time with you. This goes to the saying, "everything is an ioi." If you walk up to a woman and tell her you'd like to fuck her and she starts call you all sorts of names, guess what? Yep, you guessed it, SHE'S INTERESTED! If she wasn't interested she wouldn't be emotionally investing in calling you out, she'd just walk away. Which leads to my final point...

    Simply asking this question is beta!
    Since there is absolutely no reason to ask whether a woman is interested in you for the purposes of pickup, I assume that you're asking this question because you are looking for validation of your feelings. Well guess what? Seeking validation is the most beta characteristic you can possess. Stop seeking everyone's validation and start trusting your own feelings and instincts. By simply asking this question you're questioning yourself.



    In conclusion, if you're into a girl approach the situation with the assumption that she's interested. If she's not interested eventually you're going to get cut off and then you'll have your answer.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  2. #2
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    I believe that learning this stuff is a process and everyone discovers these things in their own time. I think they look more for reassurance than an actual answer. But you're right. If we say that she isn't interested then he won't approach. Whether she is or not is not a big deal. Emotions are NEVER static, but dynamic. So I think this thread will be a great turning point for those learning the game. Like button.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    yeah... i have to say that its about time somebody made a post about this. almost everyone on here wants to know one of five things.


    1. how can i get my ex back?...
    2. need help texting....
    3.is this girl interested in me?...
    4.critique my pof profile... (this one especialy p!sses me off)
    5. how can i seduce this girl i've never talked to, who i'm around alot. (it is sad that people even post sh!t like this, obviously staring at them is going to get them in bed right?... (sarcastic) and clearly they are looking for some majic solution to getting girls)

    i just stopped replying to posts like these, i am here to help guys who are actually interested in self improvement and who are willing to put work into it.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    yeah... i have to say that its about time somebody made a post about this. almost everyone on here wants to know one of five things.


    1. how can i get my ex back?...
    2. need help texting....
    3.is this girl interested in me?...
    4.critique my pof profile... (this one especialy p!sses me off)
    5. how can i seduce this girl i've never talked to, who i'm around alot. (it is sad that people even post sh!t like this, obviously staring at them is going to get them in bed right?... (sarcastic) and clearly they are looking for some majic solution to getting girls)

    i just stopped replying to posts like these, i am here to help guys who are actually interested in self improvement and who are willing to put work into it.
    I'm still foolish enough to respond to some of them lol. But I do try to limit my advice since I know they are looking for a magic pill and not willing to put in the work.

    Also I'm a sucker for the Get Your Ex back stuff. I've been in love and have had heartbreak so I have a soft spot for these and always try to be supportive because of what a bag of mix emotions they are feeling. Simply telling them to get over it bugs me more than the posts themselves lol.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    P.S. Chodes, stop being chodes. You won't want her when you realize one of us have already probably closed that, wiped it on her curtains and left!
    Caveat: Just because I feel a certain way about my journey doesn't mean you should feel the same about yours.

    If you can't say that you would rather die than not do it; you don't want it bad enough.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    yeah... i have to say that its about time somebody made a post about this. almost everyone on here wants to know one of five things.


    1. how can i get my ex back?...
    2. need help texting....
    3.is this girl interested in me?...
    4.critique my pof profile... (this one especialy p!sses me off)
    5. how can i seduce this girl i've never talked to, who i'm around alot. (it is sad that people even post sh!t like this, obviously staring at them is going to get them in bed right?... (sarcastic) and clearly they are looking for some majic solution to getting girls)

    i just stopped replying to posts like these, i am here to help guys who are actually interested in self improvement and who are willing to put work into it.
    Hate: 2) 3) 4) 5)... don't deal much with the first one.

    I don't think people understand the concept of two much talking through texting. They become overly comfortable and text non-stop... no stop it this is how you get friended.

    Three duke covered this as good as any already.

    Four is my pet peeve... online dating is IMO the stupidest thing ever thought of... and lazy people buy in to it every day. How can you expect to have a good relationship when you're first impression of a person is an online profile which is more often than not exaggerated and has lies. And to people who say you don't have time, IF YOU CAN'T MAKE TIME FOR WOMEN YOU DON'T DESERVE THEM. Im sure all you guys are busy guys as I know I am, but I still make time. Its called prioritising, if you can't make time to meet a potential wife which you will be spending the rest of your life with your a sad man. Rant over.

    But yeah most people aren't willing to put the time in... how many new guys join post one question then you never hear from them again.
    In life you get what you put into it.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    I'm still foolish enough to respond to some of them lol. But I do try to limit my advice since I know they are looking for a magic pill and not willing to put in the work.

    Also I'm a sucker for the Get Your Ex back stuff. I've been in love and have had heartbreak so I have a soft spot for these and always try to be supportive because of what a bag of mix emotions they are feeling. Simply telling them to get over it bugs me more than the posts themselves lol.
    The get your ex stuff is the hardest to deal with because basically every guy knows the answer to the question he's asking and yet everyone's emotions get the better of them in that scenario. I'm guilty of it and I'd be surprised if there is a single man who hasn't been guilty of it at some point in time.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  8. #8
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    Duke you hit the nail on the head with this one. I was actually creating a thread very similar to this essentially discussing the threads that neednt be post on here due to their nature such as the is she interested in me stuff.

    I have the same issue of continuing to reply to some of these post with pages of advice and then sit there and realize all I am doing is giving a man a fish instead of teaching him to fish. I took an extended break off of PUA Forums and focused teaching in person.

    And your right on point there too YOLO. Peoples interpersonal relationship abilities have dwindled do to all this focus on electronic communications. At first it was the convenience of texting. Texting is nice given it doesnt require an immediate response a lot of times. But the comes along myspace, then facebook, then all this online dating market. People seem to think they can go and read a few words and OMG I am in love. The reliance on electronic communication in society today is absurd. Even PUA Forums can have its down fall in that I know there are a large number of guys on here that will get on and read all this PUA stuff and take it all in but never actually get out and do it. I saw it when I with some of my students. I would recommend them to do research here and then develope questions for me and basically I had a lesson plan built through information on this page. These guys would come to me with all this new knowledge and confidence and all the sudden theyre king of the hill but as soon as the Field Test came about they flopped. All of it was a lack of verbal communication skills.

    The simple fact of all of this is people just dont pay attention. If they took a few moments to actually snoop around the site they wouldnt have all the duplicated threads and can get the answer without bothering people who are trying to offer solid advice instead of the same stuff over and over again. I think there should be a popup or something on the first ever log in walking you through the basics and until you complete the basics then can you post threads. Thus I would presume that it may reduce if not eliminate the duplicate threads.

  9. #9
    monoposto is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    I'm new here but ill chime in. Instead of asking questions I find myself reading the text/messaging/name your guide stickies all the time. That sh!t is great material that I can adapt and change over to fit my own personality.

    THE number one problem I see a bunch of people dealing with on here, is confidence and inner game issues. Hell, I still deal with some of this on a daily basis, but from experience I know I can make sh!t happen. I have gotten to the point were I've developed some of my own ideas that work for me and can tell if she really likes me, kinda likes me, isn't interested. Same goes with reading how a woman feels about you. They just need more epxerience.

    I think I got this from david d, but one of the key things with this and life in general is persistence. You can carry this over on to anything in life and you find the same message in any success video on youtube. (one that comes to mind is randy pausch and his brick wall analogy)

    just my .02 cents

  10. #10
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    Default Re: The Topic of "Is she interested in me"

    Most problems with women and life are inner game problems (and by that I mean confidence and a feeling of self-worth).
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."


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