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  • 1 Post By Autismus

Thread: transitioning after the opener

  1. #1
    eudaimwn93 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default transitioning after the opener

    I stopped a girl in the street and tried to go for a direct approach.I said to her
    ME''hey i cant stay for long but i saw you walking and had to tell you that your bag matches perfect with your shoes.I'm John by the way
    HER:giving her name
    ME: ???
    i mean i should have planned something to say but i wanted to be completely spontaneous.what should come next??

  2. #2
    sizart is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: transitioning after the opener

    You coulda gone for a neg maybe.... Something playful about how maybe one other item didn't match. That could've potentially sparked a laughing response from her and gotten the convo going.

  3. #3
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: transitioning after the opener

    Quote Originally Posted by eudaimwn93 View Post
    I stopped a girl in the street and tried to go for a direct approach.I said to her
    ME''hey i cant stay for long but i saw you walking and had to tell you that your bag matches perfect with your shoes.I'm John by the way
    HER:giving her name
    ME: ???
    i mean i should have planned something to say but i wanted to be completely spontaneous.what should come next??
    Here's one I'm going to try soon.

    When she gives her name, say yours, shake her hand, then neg her about her skin or something or hair.

    Then ask what she's up to other than hitting on you. You can transition the conversation through whatever her reply is. If you legit run out of anything you can possibly say, ask a random question, like "Ok, random question, what is the craziest thing you've ever done in your life?" As long as you're being playful with it, but don't try to force a question. You're more natural and believable if you give a reason for what you're doing, even if the reason doesn't make sense. ".... Where are you from?" is forced, as opposed to "I detect an accent. Where are you from?" It's more natural because you have a reason to ask where she's from. Get it? Now get out of here and get those girls you little scamper you!

  4. #4
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Technical Difficulties

    One of your problems is that you over prepared yourself for the opener without any consideration to what would follow up next. You were bold and spontaneous, and that is why she responded to you. However, when you had your moment of indecision, she saw it and immediately lost interest in you because she saw you were being mechanical.

    The ability to make decisions is incredibly important for any man, because it shows that you know what you are doing, and it demonstrates power. The moment she told you her name, you should have immediately snapped onto the next thing. As sizart said, a neg would have been great, but your thinking process backfired on itself.

    The biggest problem you have is that you lack naturality. You went into the situation and ended up flopping big time because you couldn't be you. A rehearsed opener is just a rehearsed opener, it won't take you anywhere after that. With the opener you used, if you had forgotten to use a neg of course you wouldn't be able to get anywhere with the conversation because you just dove off a cliff with no parachute. It's nice to be prepared and armed with some things. If you depend on it to much, that's when you become under-prepared and over-prepared.

    Remember, don't DO you, BE you.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  5. #5
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: transitioning after the opener

    After the opener and Introductions you can ask her if she's an artist.(note,how an artist can be pretty much anything).If she says yes,i just got a perfect topic that can last for a while,and I actually have dhv routines,since I'm a musician myself.

    If she says she's not an artist,i just say that "You have this interesting look to you,usually i can tell when i see a person with talent,perhaps your talent is still hidden" and then transition into DHV about me doing music.

    Also don't forget the basics,even though you're going direct you can still use Style's routines.

    Finally you can read some routines online...Any routine can fill the awkward silence,but don't just stuff yourself with funny routines,you need a conversation.

  6. #6
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: transitioning after the opener

    After opening you should get away from the opener topic by following a statement+question pattetn (make a statement and follow it with a question) and you should also drop little bits of information about yourself that can become threads if you need

    You: "Your bag looks nice"

    You: "My sister has the exact same bag, I'm actually meeting her here to go shopping, she just flew in from Denver. What are you up to?"
    (You can talk about: your sister, shopping, your current location, Denver, flying)

    Her: "I'm shopping"
    You: "Not for hand bags I assume, you look like you're all stocked up there. You here to buy a Valentines day present?"
    (You can talk about anything you mentioned before plus: buying gifts, holidays, Valebtines Day, the type of guy you imagine her to be with on VDay)

    Her: "No, lol I'm single"
    Sasha (You): "Well theb let's cut to the chase missy. I didn't come over her because I liked your hand bag I came over because I thought you looked cute. Now that I can tell you also seem pretty normal let's walk and talk so I can see if you meet my third requirement" *offer her your arm to walk with*

    P.s. Her: "What's your third requirement?"
    You: [whatever you wabt to qualify her on. Spontenaity and adventure are both good]
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  7. #7
    fleetersamuelli is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: transitioning after the opener

    DO NOT neg a girl that you just stopped in the street - totally uneccessary and is like shooting your own foot off. Just have a genuine conversation and tell her why you stopped her.


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