Being the Alpha Male: Part 3
Really good question Jay. To answer it would require another chunk of detail, so I'll just go into a Part 3 to answer that question.
Originally Posted by amazingJay
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Now, suppose that you have won. Your challenger has either been defeated or is terribly embarrassing himself, and you are ready to really get engaged with this lovely young lady (or old if you are into that sort of thing).
Now, suppose that your goal is not to bang her promptly that night, but to actually see if she is your kind of girl. Now, to one who doesn't think about the deeper things much, this can be a harder thing to do. Fortunately, it is possible to really think about this while still remaining natural.
Who are YOU?
Before you can even go about with knowing whether that girl is worth it or not for you, you need to make sure that you know who you are and what you want.
Now some of you are thinking right now "Oh, well I already know what I want Swagman".
To respond: no, you don't.
You THINK you know what you want, and you will try to pursue it, but have you ever had a moment where you thought a girl was awesome, but when you discovered that a certain trait of hers that you knew about before, and now it bothered you because you didn't realize that it was a trait that you disliked before?
Here's another one: Have you ever had things collapse with a girl, and then all of a sudden you began bringing out all of these bad qualities that you knew about her, but now you're using them to make you hate her so then you move on from her a lot quicker?
If you are like me, then you would have experienced this many times over. The problem is, you never begin to really think about it before someone grabs the sign and slaps you across the face with it. I never thought about this before I read about it in one of Derek Rake's readings.
So how do we go about with solving this complexity that seems to land us in relationships that we have no desire getting in?
Well, for starters, we need to answer the question of who we are.
You can start this out by listing all of the words that describe you best. After this, elaborate off of why you believe these words describe you as they do.
Now, here comes the tricky part. Next, go through everything you listed, and pick out the ones that you would want to see the MOST in a girl. Then, you should pick out the ones that you would want to see the least in a girl. Once again, as you're doing this, you should try to elaborate on why your decision is the way it is.
This is the easy, short way for things. The longer way would be to include philosophies, more minute details and so on. The only difference between the short way and the long way is that the long way is more thoroughly defined than the other, but the short way is still pretty thorough.
One last thing, this process isn't something where you can simply think about it and you're done. In order to truly get an accurate picture of who I was and what I wanted, I had to sit down in front of a chalk board for twelve hours, take a hell of a lot of personality, character, and compatibility tests, and really come up with multiple good reasons to what I had put down.
In other words, be prepared to put some effort into this.
Who is SHE?
Now we get back into the field. We are now in the position where you have found an interest in the girl and you are attempting to figure out more about her.
The reason the first part comes in so incredibly handy is because you already know who YOU are, and you know what parts of you you want to see in her. Thus, there are two ways you can go about with this.
The first is to ask her questions relating to what you want to find in her that you see in yourself. For example, if you consider yourself an adventurous person, ask her a questions like "Do you go camping?", "Have you ever done anything really crazy?", and so on.
The second way is to build rapport with the answers she gives you. If she does go camping, then tell her about some of your own experiences. Build rapport with her by sharing your experiences on a mutual trait.
Now suppose that she hasn't gone camping. Remember that part from before where I told you to rank the personalities in the order of which you want to see in the target? Do you also remember where I told you to really elaborate on what you mean when you say that? That's where this comes into play.
So she doesn't go camping. Does that mean she's not adventurous? If your only definition of adventurous is camping trips, then she really doesn't. For me, as an example, adventurous means willing to do crazy things. The thoroughness in knowing this is important because it can play such a critical role.
Another important thing is to know where the absent trait places. If adventurous is about so-so, then it really doesn't matter. If it is closer to the top, then you need to figure out if there are any more traits near the top that she does not have.
In the end, active judgement will pass to you. It will be entirely up to you whether the traits she has satisfies your requirements or not. The moment you determine that she is really not your kind of girl is the moment you should eject from the conversation. Exit lightly, and move on with your night.
If you do this right, the best part is being able to go on with absolutely no regrets whatsoever.
So why didn't I just create a whole new thread and include it in there? What does any of the above relate with being a true Alpha Male?
Being an Alpha Male does not mean just simply walking the walk and talking the talk as I have shown. It means knowing WHY you are walking, WHY you are talking, and being able to stand firm knowing that's who you are and what you desire the most out of things. As long as you maintain this philosophy, it will only make you all the more stronger and confident not only in your pursuit for the girl who's just right, but also for the social fame you desire as well.
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I'm really glad that this is working out for you. It makes me happy to know that my methods are working for people besides myself. Keep up the great work!
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X